Saturday, March 27, 2021

The personal

Mother lives on with her right leg swelling up each evening and returning to normal by the next morning. Now her left leg is doing the same. I ordered a drink she requested, online, Nestle Resource. It is a fruit flavoured tonic and Fire Fighting Nephew bought it for once and she liked it. $80 for two dozen 375 ml cartons is not cheap.

But now she is half a millionaire, she can afford it. Already she has started spending big. Flowers for R for his birthday would have cost about $80 - $100. A huge joint birthday cake, $120. Most old people would say, I am not paying that sort of money for a cake. Not Mother. She is, if nothing, well adjusted to modern prices. Btw, the cake was very very nice and so beautifully decorated.

The cake was bought for last Sunday whereby all the family gathered together at Tradie Brother's house, except for Ex Sis in Law's husband.

It was a great afternoon as we celebrated Mother's 87th birthday, R's blub blub birthday and great niece Little M's 7th birthday. Although warm enough for short sleeves, Tradie Brother lit his half tin drum fire and the kiddies baked potatoes in foil and later toasted marshmallows. Bone Doctor, also a scout leader gave Little M a lesson on fire and the fire's need for oxygen. Over my head. Little M payed dutiful attention, and she is going to come and stay with us for a night or two in the forthcoming school holidays.

Sister had booked a holiday to take Mother to Phillip Island but Mother said no. I am not well enough. So Sister cancelled the next day at no cost. Sister asked Mother to come down and stay over Easter and Mother said she would think about it. While booking a cottage near Sister in Queenscliff for August, I discovered the cottage was available for Easter. I checked with Mother. Are you going to Sister's over Easter? No, I am not well enough. Next breath, I get so lonely with only my ABI son to talk to. No I am not well enough for visitors. But when they visit, she loves it and immediately brightens up.

We have booked a week in the south coast beach town of Lorne in May. We plan to visit Queensland in July. After further research, I've gone off the rail bed train. Debby was quite right. You are so exposed and once your bed is made up, at around 9.30pm, your seat has gone. The bar closes at 10pm and lights out. I am cautious when reading Trip Advisor reviews. Some people are really over the top picky, but there was enough there to tip the balance and not book the train. If I am to sleep on a train, I will do so in a first class private compartment. I'm trying to learn how to spend money after a lifetime of getting by and managing.

I've been riding lots of trams, trains and buses in the last couple of weeks. Mostly for reasons but at times just because I can.

A doctor's appointment last week, physio for my neck yesterday, skin cancer appointment on Tuesday. My neck does seem to be improving. I hate taking pain killers but I am, and doing the exercises my physio person tells me to do. 

Well that's your bloomin' lot for today, but I'll leave you with a couple of photos of blooming flowers R received for his birthday.

From Mother.


From one of R's sisters in the north of England. The bunch looked better that it does in the photo.

36 comments:

  1. R's birthday flowers look lovely.
    I am glad that your mother is happy to spend money. Do the medicos know why her legs swell?
    I love the connection that your family has. It is difficult to get ours together and tensions are always high.

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    1. EC, if they do know, they haven't told her. Aside from Sister and Fire Firefighting Newphew's wife, we all get along and I am rather pleased about that.

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  2. Oh, what gorgeous flowers! The edema sounds worrisome. Does she have congestive heart failure?

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    1. Debby, she does have heart issues and had a stent put in one leg. Thanks for the word edema. I can look that up.

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  3. My dad in his later years used to like to give us expensive things, money for petrol, etc. I didn't like accepting them until I realised how much pleasure it gave him to give them.

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    1. Tasker, I can imagine it nice to do that. I suppose in the end you would have received whatever he gave you anyway.

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  4. Happy belated Birthday to R.
    The flowers are lovely.
    Good to hear your mum is spending a wee bit of her money, she can't take it with her :)

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    1. Thanks Margaret. What about our inheritance that she is spending?

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    2. Oh I hope that was a joke. Maybe she's also had a life of scraping and just getting by. It truly sounds to me as if she is moving into CHF, and her time here will be short. Allow her her small pleasures. It seems like she is spending on others mainly, attempting to bring some joy.

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    3. I've been worried about this, and whether it sounded harsh. It wasn't meant to. It's just that with doing our wills, my own final days have been on my mind. Your mother is probably a flawed person as all people are, but it sounds as if there is something inside of her that wants to be remembered fondly. Some people can't give emotionally, and so they give things.

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    4. It was a joke Debby. Her four children are ok and all own their houses and she is free to spend her money as she wishes. I would never describe her as scraping and just getting by and has always had someone to prop her up financially, the last few years being her children.

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    5. I am glad it was a joke. I cannot imagine needing my children to support me though. I could not allow such a thing.

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    6. Joking aside, more people need to remember it isn't an inheritance until the parent has died and bequeathed the money. Until then it is still the parent's money and they can do as they please with it. I get so angry reading stories in the paper about children expecting their inheritance and treating their elderly parents badly because they are spending their hard earned money. Having said that, if I were to win lotto one day, I would certainly spend on myself, but would also give the children a goodly share as 'early' inheritance. I'd like to be able to see them enjoy it, which I couldn't do from the grave.

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    7. Certainly River. By the time Mother dies, none of her children need more money and by the time I die, maybe only one person will really need money. R's sisters are only a few years younger than him, and money would be no great use to them either. An inheritance is a bonus, not a right.

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  5. Nice flowers . Good your neck is better. At least she's not hoarding her half million, when nearly 90. Better to have some fun with it, big time.

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    1. Somewhat better Strayer. I do think it will come good and not be permanent. She has always known how to spend money and is surprised when it runs out. In this case, she is bit old to spend much.

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    2. I know a lady who can't keep money for the life of her. The moment she has it, its gone. She's run through several very large inheritances and then ends up nearly destitute. Your mother should be too old to end up broke with that kind of balance. I should think. Neck problems are no fun so I hope your improvement lasts.

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  6. I was amused by your "I'm trying to learn how to spend money after a lifetime of getting by and managing". I'm learning to appreciate having a hefty bank balance; something I've never really had before. I thank Covid-19.

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    1. Cro, it really is hard to spend money when you have been cautious for most of your life. R's bank balance has increased immensely during COVID. Mine, not really.

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    2. Mine too, although more moderately increased, but still welcome.

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  7. I think mother is playing her "sympathy" card every time she says she is not well enough, so you'll all go to her instead of her making the effort to go to them. Her loss if she misses out. Maybe I'm too harsh, maybe she really isn't feeling well enough?
    Anyway...
    I would opt for a private first class compartment too if I were going to be sleeping on a train.

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    1. River, no doubt she plays the sympathy card but also she is quite unwell at times. Yep, first class sleeper is the only way to go and if you can't afford it, don't bother going.

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  8. Happy belated birthday greetings to R. I have a big one coming in a few weeks and am not looking forward to it. You are fortunate to have these family gatherings so frequently. Enjoy spending your money.

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    1. Marie, I will pass your good wishes on. A big one approaching. Oh, I had no idea. Even with my low boredom threshold, I do enjoy the family gatherings.

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  9. Your post proves that it is good to have family. To be engaged with other people's lives and not alone.

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    1. Family is pretty well all that is left now YP.

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  10. It sounds nice to be planning little trips, go do, enjoy. Spend money on the traveling the way you want to travel, be comfortable.

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    1. Travel, dreams of Prague and Paris are just that now. R is too old and I have lost motivation. Local will do us. There is enough to experience here.

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  11. Well that's a lot of activity! Happy belated birthday to R and I'm glad you've had a chance to celebrate a bit with family. The flowers look great! Interesting note about the sleeper train -- I've been considering an overnight train to Scotland (once we're able to travel) so I'll have to look into it more.

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    1. Steve, lash out and travel on the Caledonian Sleeper. You won't regret it. Thanks.

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  12. Boy those flowers are absolutely lovely. And I can't imagine what that expensive cake looked like. It is so sweet she's throwing away some money and enjoying herself.

    XO
    WWW

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    1. WWW, only the sunflowers of one bunch have survived and they look great just on their own. Have phone, can still spend.

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  13. Happy belated birthday to your Mom, your niece and R. We also celebrate 5 family birthdays in March.

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    1. Thanks Sami. We have five in nine days in March.

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  14. Sounds like a lovely birthday celebration en masse Andrew, and another trip planned! We really need to get ourselves moving and do a bit of WA exploring again, it's been ages! Margaret River here we come!

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    1. Grace, yes. I want photos from the train on Busselton Jetty. We didn't have time.

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