Thursday, January 28, 2021

Back of the queue you oldies

Last week, and similar happens often enough, I sat at an outdoor coffee table where there is table service and I was ignored by staff for about five minutes. The lad who eventually served me was perfunctory. 

An attractive young blond long haired man with his attractive young female companion sat down and received immediate and very friendly waiter service. To ameliorate a little, my waiter was very nice when I went inside to pay.

I remember once reading, men don't really see woman as sexual beings once they are over 40. I see women above that age but perhaps not for the reason mentioned. Women are so interesting to watch in a non sexual manner. For me it is all about them and not what one part of me wonders about when I see men. 

Maybe it happens a few years later, but a fifty year old gay men also become invisible to younger gay men. 

I am not talking about a possible really personal connection but just a mental connection of some kind of respect or something like that. 

But gay, straight, male or female, we all become invisible to younger people as we reach our older years. We have to be served but we are not young and attractive.

I am normally so organised with ensuring I have an adequate supply of wine, but I ran out tonight and crossed the road to buy a bottle. After I paid, for some reason I gave the attractive young man a wide and sincere smile as I said thank you, and lordy, I fell in love with him as he returned the same smile. It was such a nice moment. 

Speaking to people with a smile on your face goes a long way.

40 comments:

  1. I quite like being invisible (most of the time). It allows me to people watch to my hearts content.
    You are so right about smiles though - they cross the age/language barrier beautifully.

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    1. EC, that is quite true. I can perve at guys and they don't see me.

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  2. Did somebody just compose a blogpost?...Oh, I see, it was by a mature blogger! No wonder it failed to register with me. Speaking to people with a mask on your face goes even further.

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    1. YP, you are so unkind. Crinkly eyes above masks help.

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  3. This sort of ties in with an idea for a blog post I've been thinking about for a few days. It's about how society begins to devalue people as they age. Most of my women friends who are in their 60s say the feel utterly invisible a lot of the time.

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    1. Jennifer, it is probably worse for women than men I'd reckon.

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  4. It took me a long time to learn that a smile and a nice word go a long way. I can't really say I ever feel ignored at my advanced age. I do hate and despise when someone addresses me as sweetie or honey!!!

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    1. Jackie, the remaining one of our Brother Friends I observed in action with dealing with people and learnt from him about the smiling. Just keep on smiling, whether you feel like it or not.

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  5. Masked, unseen smiles?

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    1. Whimsy, so you have to make an extra effort when masked for people to see you smile. Fortunately we are mostly unmasked here now.

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  6. Interesting Observation At The Coffee Shop - Never A Dull Moment

    Cheers

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    1. Padre, small my life may be, but I find it interesting.

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  7. One of the things I really dislike about being 'masked' is that I can't see people's expressions, and they can't see mine.

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    1. Cro, which is why I don't like Muslim women covering their faces. They are having it easy at the moment.

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  8. Smiling does go a long way, but in reference to the other, what happened to "Age before Beauty"? Don't they realise we oldies need to be served first because don't have as much time left? We're also slower moving, so after our coffee, we take much longer to hobble off home, so we need to get going, which means bring me my coffee before you stop and chat with the youngsters!
    I'll take my tongue out of my cheek now, because I'm really not that impatient and not so fussed about being overlooked.

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    1. Age before Beauty, River? I vaguely remember that term. Was it ever true? As a retired person with time, it doesn't worry me much, but it is interesting to observe.

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  9. I like to people watch. The looks we (or lease around my area) we give mask and non mask people.
    Coffee is on and stay safe.

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    1. Dora, I too count the people around who are masked or not.

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  10. A smile does wonders - even to a crabby person, it's good observe human nature of both men and women...children are always entertaining.

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    1. Margaret, children are probably more entertaining to watch with their lack of self consciousness.

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  11. A smile does go a long way, Andrew. Good on you for that smile.

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    1. Spooky Sandra, but it worked again today when I had coffee out on my own. There was nothing gay about the Italian guy, except the way we exchanged looks and politeness.

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    2. I read somewhere once: if you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.

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  12. I bet that clerk enjoyed a customer with a smile. Clerks take a lot of flack throughout a day. It sure is nice when someone looks my way, let alone smiles at me.

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    1. Does it happen often that someone smiles widely to you Strayer?

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  13. I totally get it, and like you, I pretty much smile at everyone with my eyes because they can no longer see my actual smile(lol) Some smile back, and some think I'm just weird.(lol) Hugs and more hugs, RO

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    1. RO. it can be a fine line between an open friendly smile and looking like a mad person.

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  14. You are not dead yet.

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    1. Travel, I like to prepare for things.

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  15. I am always so charmed when a young man "sees" me and engages my in conversations. It is so rare that it makes it remarkable and that makes me sad. We are invisible as we no doubt made the oldies invisible in our time.

    XO
    WWW

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    1. WWW, yes I guess we were guilty. I found it happens much less in Britain.

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  16. We are still behind masks here, so all we see are eyes. Mostly, at 62 I feel invisible to people anyway. Just as well.
    I did have to stop and share the news about Anneliese with a friend. She adores the dackels, and was very sad about Anneliese. I could see her tears. I will bring Arnie to visit soon!
    I also stopped and got a smallish bottle of 12 year old Glenlivet Scotch. It is only for me! And my goodness it tastes so fine!

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    1. Maribeth, while we have to wear masks on public transport, large stores, anywhere with medical services and the supermarket, otherwise we are unmasked. That is nice that someone cared so much about Anneliese. Enjoy your Scotch.

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  17. You're right Andrew, the power of a genuine smile and friendly word completely diminishes the invisibility cloak, works every time 😀

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    1. Grace, of course I am right. I am always right. Yo know that, like I know you are always right.

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  18. I find it remarkable/sad the "invisibility" that comes from getting older. Shops, bars etc, the attendants often don't "see" you. But I guess it's all relative. When I was 19 I met a guy who I quite liked, but who I decided was "too old for me" because he was 23.

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    1. James, have you noticed it is different in some other countries? I reckon I have. When young, I liked older men, well up to ten to fifteen years more. Now, I am the opposite, if I could be bothered.

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    2. A number of years ago, visiting Sweden, a friend and I met a couple of people visiting from Argentina. One of the guys had the hots for me! When I asked him how old he was, his friend replied, "Don't worry, he likes the old ones!!".

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  19. Old is rather different to older.

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Democracy is all very well, but why give it to the people? - Audrey Forbes-Hamilton.