Tuesday, November 19, 2019

DNA Danger

Little Jo is not so little now. She is 12 years old and the daughter of my younger sister and her wife, the Bone Doctor. She is tall, mature and very smart for her age, yet helicoptered by her parents. I think there is a scout jamboree in New Zealand over summer and Little Jo is attending. While parents are not allowed to be with them, Sister and Bone Doctor will be there too, stalking and there on the one day parental access is allowed.

Little Jo was told she had to earn some spending money for New Zealand, like Sister and Bone Doctor are so poor, not. Little Jo busked by singing in a nearby town on the Bellarine and for her morning's work earnt $120. She can sing quite well, among her many talents.

Whenever this is published, a day or so ago she went to an orientation at her new private non religious school. It sounds ideal for her. Sister once worked with her class level teacher and said she is terrific. While the travelling distance by bus is great, and Mother moans on about how she should have gone to a local school, I think Little Jo will flourish at the chosen school.

I had a nice chat with Sister on the phone, and she imparted some really interesting information.

Bone Doctor's sister had been doing family research and I guess she did one of those DNA tests that Ancestry dot com urges you to do. A man in New South Wales had also taken a DNA test and they were a close match. It was suggested they were cousins, but the DNA match seemed closer. Bone Doctor's sister asked her mother if she knew of this close cousin and Bone Doctor's mother confessed it was her son, born before she married. It is the usual story of the era. Bone Doctor's mother's father told her to marry him or give the child up. She chose the latter and was sent to that particular religious hospital in Sydney, where Aboriginal women who were pregnant and also sent, but were put in the basement to do the laundry as they were about to give birth.

Bone Doctor's mother gave up the child for adoption and I guess he was quickly whisked away. She returned to Queensland for further education and went on to have a successful medical career. She, about the same age as me, retired last year.

Bone Doctor's father knew about it, so no problem there. Bone Doctor will see her mother in a couple of weeks and they will may discuss the matter. Bone Doctor has made email contact with her new older brother, the brother she always wanted to play with cricket with, and guess what, he likes cricket. Bone Doctor is 42 and her new older brother is 50. He has been married to a woman for 24 years but without children.

So kiddies, I suggest you be very careful about doing DNA tests. Be careful about what you want to know.

After hearing Sister's recount, I thought, just another bloke who has pressured an innocent young women into sex. But then I did actually think. Obviously I know little about the sexual desires of women.

But my immediate thoughts about Bone Doctor's mother was that a bloke forcefully cajoled her into sex and made her pregnant. Why don't I think that women can be as hungry for sex as men and want it just as badly when they are young, ok, yes and older too. I don't believe that from time immemorial that young women can't have known what the result might be if they were 'entered'. I believe the first time is not so easy for women and often not enjoyable. Society tells us that men want women for sex and while women might enjoy it, they don't chase after it and don't have the mind numbing hunger that men have. Am I being an apologist for possible poor male behaviour? Perhaps. Educate me about how so many young women did and still do become pregnant when it is not what they want.

47 comments:

  1. In the presence of passion, prevention may not be handy; it happens, if I remember correctly. I'm an 81-year-old lady reader.

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    1. Exactly, or the prevention may not work. Even the Pill is not 100% effective.

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    2. Whimsy, as I thought and I am pleased you remember and I am sure you wouldn't be critical of young people now when they 'muck up'.

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    3. Jenny, yes, prevention may fail, more so back then.

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  2. Sometimes it's passion but can at times be giving in to the pressure when a boyfriend says you would if you loved me.Usually without protection.

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    1. Cheryl, that is the old line isn't it, You would if you really loved me. The lass doesn't want to lose her lad and so conceeds.

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  3. Oh Andrew you are so naive about women's passion and sex drive. I believe it is the same as men's and last's longer. This is an interesting story and hits a raw nerve with me.

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    1. Diane, I admit that. I am quite ignorant about women and sex. Lasting longer is interesting. Yes, you were in my thoughts as I wrote the post.

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  4. Oh, yes, a woman's sex drive can be very powerful, too. I think there's variation among women just as there is among men.

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    1. Jenny, yes, even with men there are huge variations. Men with voracious appetites are thought of highly. Women with voracious appetites were, and at times still are, thought of quite differently. In fact there is a variety of names for them.

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  5. And I second your caution to those considering DNA testing. The question to ask is "would I be okay with the worst case scenario I can imagine?"

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    1. Jenny, there is a situation in my family that I have talked about before, but I won't again aside from one of my siblings shouldn't have their DNA tested.

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  6. Andrew - we're talking about a pair of young people in about 1968 or 1969, right? If young the girl may well have not been in the pill and in the heat of young love/lust other precautions may not have been taken or to hand. I think it is cute that you put it down to a bloke cajoling a maiden fair. Risky behaviour of the young in this situation doesn't need to be as one-sided a that.

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    1. Marcellous, yes, the years would be about right. I don't actually that it was always so one sided, which is why I asked. Part of growing up is risk taking. We have all taken risks I think.

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  7. Oh! For goodness sake, Andrew! Surely you jest?

    At your age, you can't be serious in that you don't understand the facts of life between men and women...between women and men...men and men...women and women!

    I find what you've written here very difficult to believe!

    Changing the subject...It is good that Little Jo earned her pocket money. It matters not that her parents have money...what matters is the child is learning the value of money...and the importance of earning it one's own self.

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    1. Lee, how would I know? Of course I know about men and men, and we had our own hazards in the 80s and 90s, otherwise I only know what I read and see, without any real personal experience. I've not experienced a woman in the throes of passion. I simply don't know.

      You are quite correct about her earning her own money. In some ways she is a bit spoilt but in other ways not at all and easy access to money is one way that she isn't spoilt.

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  8. And the thing about risk is that even when intellectually known it is often dismissed. The risky thing you want to do is now! And you can definitely do it and get the benefit you seek. The possible consequence is later and may not come to pass. "It won't happen to me!"

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    1. Marcellous, I remember all very well about the throes of passion in the 80s and 90s and how tempting it could be to indulge without protection in certain situations.

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  9. I had my DNA test done. And at point no surprise has happen. I know my dad was married before my mom and either his wife and him had any children. But my grandma on my mom side there some shaddy things about family.
    People been horny for generation, and now there birth control out there.
    Your post gave me ideal for post. I don't think I post about "Plumber and my mom:

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    1. Dora, oh please do post about your mother and plumber.

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  10. In the UK a lot of young school-leavers get pregnant on purpose, in order to get accomodation and hand-outs. They see it as a good alternative to finding a job.

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    1. Cro, it was similar here, not as much now as the system is much tighter. But what can a civilised society do if young women chooses to do that? Let the mother and child starve on the streets?

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  11. Heat of the moment Andrew, once started they can't stop maybe :) There are those that get pregnant these days so they can get handouts as it's different times to way back then.
    Little Jo is being taught to earn a living and not get handouts all the time - that's good and she sure did make a fair bit at singing, good on her.
    DNA, nothings changed where people find out things in the closet, if they told the truth in the first place it might be easier later in life though hard when telling at first.

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    1. Margaret, at times it seems it was pressure, at other times mutual passion.

      Yes, I was surprised at how much money Little Jo earnt. I don't know why Bone Doctor's mother never told her children. While she is a bit of an odd fish, she is very worldly and well travelled.

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  12. I'm pleased that Little Jo is learning that money must be earned and hope she has a wonderful time in NZ.
    Women's sex drive? I don't seem to have one, but my mum sure did. "Anything in pants" and "man-chaser" were terms used long ago and I believe that's what she was. I have the brothers to prove it. My dad was no saint either. I don't know if he had any other children besides me and my sister, but I wouldn't be at all surprised.

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    1. River, what an interesting family history, but you turned out to be a saint. I am pleased to learn that women really like and do chase after sex.

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  13. Also, if you can believe it, there ARE still young girls who don't have enough education to know that sex leads to pregnancy. Not so long ago I worked with a young woman newly married who declared that her children weren't going to be told about sex until it was absolutely necessary. I told her that would be several years too late, they need the answers when they first ask the questions.

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    1. I scarcely believe that, that a young woman nowadays doesn't know about sex, and the consequences. The woman you worked with was naive, to say the least. They willc come across porn on the net by the age of ten.

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  14. There is no shame here, maybe anywhere, about getting pregnant single. Many people I encounter getting cats fixed have children from multiple men or don't really know who might have been the father of this or that child. Why do they continue to get knocked up? Generally here, drugs or alcohol plays a role in some way.

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    1. Stayer, yes, drugs and alcohol must play a huge part.

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  15. Every time a person chases their ancestry on programmes like Who Do You Think You Are, they always warned to expect the best... and the worst. Grandpa was a gun runner during WW1, grandma ran a brothel for soldiers home on leave or Uncle Fred was addicted to heroin and died early. No family could totally hide the babies that looked very different from dad, or babies who were sent to orphanages.

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    1. Hels, so true. It is how we humans are. We are so foible.

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  16. I was at a holiday dinner 30+ years ago, when the doorbell rang and the hostesses son, who she had given up for adoption 50 years earlier stood unannounced on the doorstep. It was an ugly scene.

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    1. Wow Travel. It sounds like a really bad scene.

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  17. My sister did the Ancestry thing and she wanted me to do it as well. I did not. In my youth my mother claimed I was not my father's. I believe she did this to hurt him. As I look like his mother I am sure I am his daughter. Still, I do not want to go there.
    I am who I am. I do not need a blood test to tell me anything. Just my humble opinion.

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    1. Maribeth, while the results of a DNA could be interesting, the risk of them being too interesting is high.

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  18. My mum always told the story that when my dad came back from the war they began walking out, one day on such a walk she fell asleep under a tree and when she woke up she was pregnant, she was 10 years younger than Dad, but that's carrying naive to the limits.. we always laugh so much when recounting that story 😁😁

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    1. Grace, you nearly made me spurt my spritzer over the keyboard. Your mother must have a been a good sleeper.

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  19. On topic, yesterday I was at my book club. We were discussing our book of the month club called Emancipation and I groaned and commented: dear gawd, men can't write sex scenes. A lively discussion ensued. And agreement abounded. No, men can't write sex scenes to save their lives.

    Much of the time we are left wanting, and those truly satisfying rare lovers are remembered forever.

    And yes, our sex drives equal or exceed men's.

    Not a lady blogger.

    XO
    WWW

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    1. Very interesting, Sweet Old Lady Blogger. I wonder what it takes to write and/or perform? My imagination is not working well.

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  20. That's good pocket money from busking for Little Jo.
    Maybe in the 60's or 70's girls didn't have the birth control options we have now or the information we have now. But I find that falling pregnant nowadays if you don't want the baby is just plain stupid as both men and women are or should be well informed.

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    1. Sami, even though they are, there could be reasons why women are not on the pill or men don't have protection with them, and passion kicks in. I expect it will always be so.

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  21. There is no age limit in sex desire ! I know a woman in her 80 she took a young lover who was so vehement that he broke her 2 ribs ! hahaha ! Little Jo soon will become a Teenager and send her parents to hell ! Troubles start usually at 14 sometimes even earlier. It's not good to be too helicopter parents ! I had the chance my parents didn't care, so I raised myself and was more catholic then the pope ! (an expression)

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    1. Oh dear Gattina. Can you get his name and phone number? Like you I had few restrictions about what I did. I really don't know about Little Jo. She is a bit different.

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  22. I know what it's like to want to have sex with a male. Whether that approximates a heterosexual woman's point of view is subject to debate.

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    1. Kirk, I think an approximation is rather unlikely.

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Democracy is all very well, but why give it to the people? - Audrey Forbes-Hamilton.