A man and his son were both bitten by a tiger snake after it invaded their suburban home. It is one of the most poisonous snakes in the world and very aggressive. The snake positioned itself to prevent the man getting medical help. Believe some of that, but all survived, including the snake.
A driver had a snake pop up in front of her windscreen as she was driving.
A woman was bitten multiple times by a lethal funnel web spider that had crawled into her bed. She survived, just.
All we hear on the evening tv news is our local beaches polluted by fecal matter after heavy rain, and this attracts sharks cruising closely along the coastline, ready to bite off your leg if you want a cool down swim in our killer heat waves. Old people in colder countries die from the cold. Our oldies die from the heat.
I haven't even mentioned crocodiles, box jellyfish, man of war jellyfish, irukandji jellyfish, blue ringed octopus and spitfire caterpillars. Mind your little doggie and pussy, lest a wedge tailed eagle swoops down, grasps your favourite pet with its talons, lifts it into the air and then tears it apart. They could probably take a new born baby for that matter, babies being a favourite food for dingoes too.
Don't come here unless your want your bum bitten by the lethal Redback Spider when you sit on a toilet seat.
Just this week a woman in an outer suburb was attacked by a kangaroo. It is quite true. Imagine jogging through Hyde Park or Central Park and being attacked by a 2 metre tall testosterone fuelled beast with claws that can expose your innards at the drop of a hat.
It is a dangerous country. No, don't come here. I don't know how I have survived to be able to write this.
Well, I have to try to limit our extreme population explosion somehow.