I know I have got you in by the subject line. I might be able to bust a drug ring, as I did last week, but this is an unsolvable mystery.
These appeared to be freshly laundered and they were lying on my bed.
R, whose underpants are these?
No, they are not.
You mistakenly left them on my bed with my other clean jocks and socks.
I did not. I have never seen them before.
Well, I don't know whose they are then, and how did they get here?
There wasn't a plausible explanation. I may have had white underpants, but if I did, that would be three decades ago. They are my size, whereas R wears a larger size. As we both now wear the same brand, R cuts the labels off his so it is clear whose underpants they are when I am sorting out the washing. The label was intact and there was some odd loose red thread where another, a rear label, may have once been attached.
One explanation I can think of is that Bone Doctor left a pair here, but I know she wears men's Y fronts, as she refuses to pay outrageous much higher prices for women's underwear. They wouldn't fit Sister.
We have looked after Dog Jack for four days twice over the past three weeks. Did they somehow arrive here in his bag of food and goodies?
Aside from the furniture delivery men, Dog Jack's mum is the only person aside from us who has been inside the apartment for well over a month.
We did have to empty out drawers with the arrival of the new furniture. Did they come from a drawer?
I'm afraid I really don't believe any of these possible explanations. The only one that makes sense is that they are a very old pair of R's from back in the days when he wore a smaller size. They are the Jockey brand and 100% cotton, as he used to wear.
But never mind, the underpants are in the washing basket and as they are my size, I will wear them.