I suppose I must have put it in a indelicate manner back in about 1984, but I was so so tired and I just wanted a good night's sleep. I suggested R sleep in the spare bedroom. Well, he suggested it, and I agreed with alacrity Not sure why I did not go to the spare bedroom, possibly because my clock was next to the bed and the alarm set for early in the morning.
Since then we have rarely slept in the same bed and we both agree we would not want to, but it did cause some hurt at the time. It is to my regret that I was not more diplomatic but I was tired of being too hot and not be able to throw the bedding off. I was tired of wanting to pull the doona around me and feel cozy but not being able to. I was tired of being kept awake by R's snoring and tired of being elbowed because of my snoring. I was sick of sneaking around the room quietly in the morning while getting dressed. Less difficult was his alarm going off and him getting up. I was younger and slept better then.
I know most of you, but probably not all, sleep alone in your own bed.
Yes, at times I miss spooning in bed, the cuddles, the intimacy and certainly the spontaneity. But there is also the unwanted advances and attention and the control thing that happens after an argument and one of you sleeps in another bed, either by choice or by order, or it could be back to back in the same bed.
In more recent years, we may have started the night by sleeping in the same bed, but once one of us is asleep, the other goes off to the other bed. I recall once waking at 6am and I was in R's bed, alone. Where is R? Of course he was in my bed.
I am confident in saying neither R or myself could ever comfortably sleep in the same bed with anyone, let alone each other.