Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Two plus two equals five

Mother finally seems to have money under some sort of control. Her power company forced her into a pay back plan for the money she owed them when for nine months she did not receive a bill. She pays $50 a fortnight which pays back the money owed and pays for her current usage. The payback was supposed to finish this month but I suspect her usage has been higher than anticipated. She is quite content to pay $50 and it means she does not go short of heating or cooling.

She has now gone onto a phone plan, $50 per month to cover her phone rental and calls. Although her friend only lives a twenty minute drive away, it is timed call and not a fixed price local call. They talk rubbish on the phone for hours.

Still for her $50 notes are just bits of paper that come and go and she will never be responsible with money, but she has improved. Maybe if she ever had to work to earn money, she may have a different attitude, but at the age of 80, the lady's not for turning.

She really has done quite well since Step Father died on Boxing Day six years ago. I knew she would. Underneath her woe is me persona, she is quite strong and very sharp. But she is very lonely for day to day company. No amount of saying she should get out and socialise more works. It is the day to day chatter about the person across the road, the cats, something heard on the news, a special at the supermarket that she really misses. I can understand that.

I had to check which year Step Father died and it was interesting to read back what I wrote at the time. Little Jo was only eighteen months old.

Later edit: Mother was either going to call an ambulance or get us to take her to the emergency department at Casey Hospital. After a few barbed and highly charged comments over the phone I agreed we would take her and I would sacrifice a precious day of a week off work. I was pretty cross with her and after we arrived home, R was too. Tests were done at the hospital and as we knew, there is nothing wrong with her in any life threatening sense. The staff at Casey Hospital were terrific. Bone Doctor says doctors have a Latin term when they see a case of lonely and depressed old person at home alone and not coping.  Funnily, today there was a BBC story Tackle Loneliness to Curb Accident and Emergency Pressures. Even the far more tolerant R became cross and snappy with her. "Last night you said you were so unwell you did not care if you were in hospital for Christmas. Today you are pleading that you don't have to stay overnight in hospital". I should have gone with my instincts and let her call an ambulance, but R insisted we take her. So we left home at 10.00am and did get back until 07.45pm. I hope R has learned a lesson. Plans for the day were gone. Next time, she can call an ambulance and one of us may pick her up from hospital, or just leave her there for them to deal with.

Today is Christmas Eve and I bid you all the best seasonal wishes. I am not religious but Christmas is a very special family time, so enjoy time with your loved ones, especially those who may not be around for too many more years.  Sorry about your boredom Hels, but tomorrow will be our wonderful family day and not a word of religion will be spoken or thought about.

Our Christmas tree.





17 comments:

  1. Heartfelt hugs.
    My mama often chose Christmas for her most spectacular dramas. I don't know how many Christmases I called an ambulance and spent time at the hospital and dealing with the fallout but it was lots. And lots. And I don't miss it.
    I hope your day tomorrow is peaceful, and love filled.

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    1. Thanks EC. I really don't want to be like that when I am old. Best wishes to you.

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  2. Andrew, Christmas Eve is a special day because we can meet with our families. I can say I am m=not very religious but I love Christmas, Your Christmas tree is nice.Tomorrow I will put mine. Have a nice day.

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    1. Gosia, and your tree is now up. It is a special family time.

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  3. Nice tree, all red and silver.
    I don't know the full details of this, but there are people employed by agencies who go to nursing homes and the homes of elderly people to just visit for a few hours, maybe daily, maybe a few times a week. They sit and chat, maybe knit, or read to the person if that is what is wanted, make cups of tea. Perhaps you could look into that for your mum, to help ease the loneliness. Contact your local Council for The Aging, (COTA), should be in the phone book or online.

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    1. Cheers River. Visitors disturb her routines. She is bad enough when the council cleaner comes once a fortnight. Good idea for some people though. She does have plenty of people to help her and plenty of contact, but it is anxiety and being alone.

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    2. Worth a try though? Some people can be prickly to begin with but soon enough begin to look forward to someone who is there to chat, not to clean. The visitors undergo a fair bit of training in handling the elderly. It could become part of her routine and break up the loneliness. Take the pressure off you too.

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    3. River, I will do some research. Thanks.

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  4. Mothers.......who'd have em? Enjoy her whilst she is still around.

    Merry Christmas to you and R.

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    1. Thanks Allan. We don't have much choice about our mothers.

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  5. Merry Christmas to you and R.
    Gosh, your poor mum being lonely, I know my late dad was when mum went. We had our last Christmas with my late dad last year, lovely memories.

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    1. Thanks WA. I just cannot imagine what it would be like to lose your partner. I would prefer to go first, I think. Selfish of me though.

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  6. Ohhh I am not bored. Half my family arrived back from California last week and I am running around like a dingbat buying sheets for their beds back in Melbourne and school uniforms for 2015. But mostly I am cooking *sigh*.

    Re your mum being very lonely for day to day company. I hear you. Don't just "say" she should get out and socialise more! Organise it! I have booked my mum into a concert every sunday afternoon and a discussion coffee group every Tuesday morning. A mini bus comes to pick her up, at a rather cheap price.

    Just ask at your local council.

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    1. Hels, thanks for interrupting your rattling of pots and pans.You do sound busy. She simply won't do anything like that. If it was arranged, she would say she was too sick to go.

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    2. Try to make it an accidental arrangement. Somehow. Take her along on a shopping trip or something and "meet up" with a group already out and join them, even for a few minutes. She may enjoy that and ask to go again.

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  7. Welcome to my world, Highriser.

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    1. Are you trying to make me feel better Jah Teh?

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