We should have set a good example to Little Jo and crossed at the lights when we got off the tram with her after being in town, but we didn't. We did as we always do, walked behind the tram and crossed the road. St Kilda Road is not an easy road to cross. The tram lines in the middle act as kind of refuge, as long as you check that trams are not coming.
As always, I held one of Little Jo's hands and R held the other as we crossed the road. "Andrew, you don't shake as much as Nanny, but your hand shakes a lot." That was my right hand, my left is even worse.
"E's (Tradie Brother) hands shake too."
"Little Jo, it is hereditary. Nanny's father's hands shook too."
"Mummy and Bone Doctor were discussing how your hands shake, AND, they said you don't have a football team."
"Well Little Jo, when I was young I used to barrack for Collingwood. But now, maybe St Kilda." I did not tell Little Jo that I now barrack for whichever team has the hottest player who has caught my attention for the week. Little Jo's auto trained response kicked in at the mention of Collingwood. "Wash your mouth out."
What I did not say was, child you need to be circumspect about the way your talk to Auntie Andrew, should you want to inherent something that we cannot spend. Should a couple of words scare them, the nieces and nephew, the brothers and sister? The words are reverse mortgage. I'd like to go out with a nil dollar balance. Even if there is something left, R has three sisters. Highriser assets divided by six is a very modest amount.
R is eight years older than I am. There is the possibility that he will go first. But as Mother with her umpteen medical problems discovered, your hale and hearty partner who you thought would survive you and care for you in your old age, may not.
I still have a lot to do in life and things I want to see and things I want to see happen, but at times I also think, well, if I die tomorrow, no regrets. I've had a wonderful life. Life's a bitch, and then you die, or your beloved partner might, which is assuredly worse than dying yourself. It is somewhat macabre, but I do at times wonder if I or R will be left holding the can. Should it be me first and R with his relatives so far away, I am confident my family will embrace R, as they have always done and R has done more for our family than could possibly be expected.