Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Skipping Italy

"Phil, one is tired. One really doesn't want to go to Italy. Last time we went, there were more Italians than one could bear, plus one will get a doing over about costing the Italian taxpayers too much lira. Do they still use lira there or do they use pounds and pence now? Anyway, how can one get out of it?"

"Look Liz, you agreed. You'd better go."

"Well, the invitation to Silvio's party should have been declined and someone should have explained bunga bunga to me. You may be cock-a-hoop about the idea, but I am not."

"Just put it out that you have gastro, like everyone else does when they want a day off."

"Do you really think one wants to give one's subjects a mental image of their Queen riding the porcelain bus, let alone sitting on one?"

"It is the only thing that the doctors will really take your word for and not need some sort of proof".

"And, if they put one in hospital, as they probably will, one supposes you will be off having your own bunga bunga party to make up for missing Silvio's party?"

"The bladder Liz, I don't want that happening again. Do you know what they stuck up where? I will stay and mind the castle."

"Call the doctors then".


La Stampa March 04 2013

Regina Elisabetta รจ molto deluso per essere troppo male per visitare l'Italia.



13 comments:

  1. only a bit funny :) Italy is the heart of soul of the Old World, utterly seductive to all of us New World types who want to get back to some great food, great architecture and great music. Kultcha!

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    1. Never really appealed to me Hels. Maybe the horror tourist tales have put me off. I'd rather see Spain and more of France.

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  2. Huh? Me no speaks italio?

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    1. I forget exactly Michael, something like 'the queen regrets she is unwell and unable to visit Italy'.

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  3. I saw Queen Liz on the news tonight as she left the hospital.
    Looking remarkably well.
    And I remembered my own bout of gastro New Years Eve 2009/2010. I'd been ill for a week and after 6 hours in hospital getting re-hydrated I was fine apart from being extremely tired.
    So if I can recover fairly quickly, I'd say Liz can too, she probably had the best of care.

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    1. River, if you have it badly, it is not nice at all. Wasn't I reading your blog back then? I don't remember you having it. I have old person's problems, years merge.

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    2. Pretty sure I wrote about it, I'll check. Something about feeling like I'd been hit by an eighteen wheeler and taking myself to the hospital on New Years Eve.

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  4. La regina avrebbe detto, io non sono divertito

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    1. Show off Bill. Now I will have to translate. Haha, very good.

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    2. Liz might not have been amused, but noi siamo...
      TY one and all :)

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    3. FC, oddly I get the Italian but not the TY.

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  5. Lovely to find your blog! I agree...France before Italy...and with all of the Cardinals in and around the Vatican, who would want to be in Rome? Perhaps it wasn't gastro after all...

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    1. Thanks Louise. With all that white and black smoke to come, Rome can't be good for your health.

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