Sunday, August 19, 2012

Doing your mate

I was in a sauna once, a bath house if you like, but if you haven't quite got what they are, a male on male sex on premises venue. I came across two young guys who were clearly friends. They were standing next to each other chatting away, as friends do, but they were also playing with each other, if you get my drift.

They were interested in me and brought me into their 'conversation'. Except  it wasn't conversation I had with them. While I was included, I wasn't included in the conversation. They just kept on chatting between themselves. Quite a weird experience.

Twenty five years or so ago, I think I had sex with a friend. I am not really sure. It was at dance party at the old South Melbourne Cricket Ground. It was quite dark and there were private areas.  It was the magic of the moment and there was a third person involved (I remember him clearly. He was hot as, and wearing a bridal veil) but at some point, I 'woke' up and reality kicked in and I departed, no doubt to search for R to see what he was up up to.

There may well have been other experiences in my life that taught me that there aren't rules about relationships, sex and friends; that there doesn't have to be a delineation but the first mentioned experience was salient. They were friends firstly and had sex if they felt like it, but they were not a committed couple.

Without any reflection on my and R's relationship, I am well over sex. There were days when I found it a mind blowing experience and I have certainly had my share. Sex can be absolutely fantastic and a beautiful thing. For mine now, it is a base animal lust that has to be satisfied. There is no magic in it anymore for me. Some men are troubled by this when they get to a certain age, but to lose one's appetite when one gets older is quite a natural thing.

It is a blessed relief really. I just can't be bothered and it gives me more time for other things. The pig with its snout in the trough is sated.


  1. I have very similar feelings to yours Andrew. In my younger days I could never have envisaged a time when sex wouldn't be in my daily thoughts and routine but that's where I am now.

    Mind you I still admire an attractive passer by - but mostly from afar.

  2. I wish I was like that, coz I'm wasting my time away. *sigh*

  3. One does reach an age where looking at something delicious is enough. It's like Magnum ice-creams, eat too many and the joy is gone and you can't be bothered wrestling with the wrapper.

  4. I'm like you, I just can't be bothered anymore. People ask me am I lonely? Don't I want to find "someone"? They could introduce me to...
    huh! Forget it. Enough is enough.
    I like my own company, I don't need or want sex, why would I want another partner to clean up after?

  5. Nicely put Victor. Today I saw lots of people peering into the Acland Street cake shop windows, but not everyone went in and bought.

    Fen, have you ever thought of attending a car key party?

    Absolutely Jah Teh. An endless supply of what we think we want makes us very jaded.

  6. Some older people do River, and just from what I know, it is more often women than men. You are alone now, but you weren't always. You've seen both sides and I think when you get to a certain age, if you a person who is happy with yourself, then that is enough. And of course, you get selfish and set in your ways, to use an old expression.

  7. It must be the 'French' in me Andrew, but mmmmm! as long as it's good..I'm in haha!!

  8. You are too wicked Grace ;)

  9. Hi. Us poets know that when we stop appraising women we'll stop being poets.

    It's the rage darlings, it won't be there.

  10. I'll never stop.

  11. No Andrew, I'm naive in the car key ways!