Thursday, April 19, 2012

Old unpublished post

It is a public post although achingly personal. You can read it here. The  self confessed fatty Kez doesn't think he is a good example, or as he puts it, an anti-example. I whole heartedly agree with Kez. He is not a good example, and neither am I. Why would the not unattractive Kez say this? I expect for the same reasons I would. Kez gives his reasons.

I work full time in essentially the same job I have done for three decades. No one has given me anything. I participate in society. I have friends. I have family. I have a personal life and a net life, both of which are very important to me. I have a partner who is my world. Life without him after thirty three years is unimaginable. I am not poor, but nor am I rich. I consider my life is pretty good.

Yet, I wonder why I am here? What is the point of me? I don't have dark moments, but if I did I might consider my life is a complete failure. All I am doing is going through the process of life. I am not contributing very much to anyone or anything. I won't even leave behind progeny to mark that I was here in the world.

No, I haven't been at the known to be depressive gin bottle. We just seem to be here to live a while and reproduce, but what is the point of us? What is the point of me?


  1. Anonymous8:59 am

    The point of you Andrew is to keep on being who you are - a caring and loving person for R, family and friends. No more no less.

  2. Really, there is no point. I think. However, we need to act like there is in order to make it through our days. And some days we can actually forget there is no point and see the beauty in it all while stopping to smell the flowers. That's the point for me anyway.

  3. How sweet Anon.

    Rubye, sometimes it does feel like an act, like you are performing a role in a play. I do get plenty of pleasure from simple things.

  4. Anonymous9:51 am

    I agree with anon; being you is enough. It's very easy to get drag down by life. It can be tough sometimes and we all wonder why we bother. But then we share a nice moment with someone important, we see a beautiful sunrise/flower/movie, etc and we remember the beauty and goodness in life. If we treat others, ourselves and our environment with respect then we're doing ok. V.

  5. Life used to be described as nasty, brutish and short. We are born, we learn to put on lipstick and then we die.

    There is no reason why one sperm hits the jackpot and makes you, while 72 million other sperm die and don't make any baby. Life is very bizarre.

    I suppose the most we can hope for are the things you listed: family, friends, a net life, a decent job, a loving partner, good food and wine, travel, books.

    If I had to add one more thing, it would be to leave something for the future, after death. For some people that would mean children and grandchildren. For other people it would be inventions or publications. Or a charitable fund in your name that keeps on giving. Or perhaps a personal collection that you bequeath to a museum or university.

  6. Who said there has to be a point?

    I know it's a cliche but ants are the creatures most likely to remind me of that question. They serve a purpose but not necessarily a 'higher' being. They work their little buns off, and cooperate to an extraordinary degree. Then they croak.

    Do they give or experience pleasure?

    For me life's a game more impressive than monopoly, more challenging than cards, and you get to pick and choose the rules. If you succeed at your own game you are a winner. If you bomb out you get to start again - a new game with a new set of rules if you like.

    And you get to make the games of others a pleasure with your sense of wonder, your intriguing questions, and your marvellous sense of humour.
    And you host others whose game overlaps with yours. Like Hels - born, learn to put on lipstick, and die. [Love it].

  7. Like the first anonymous said, you are here to be a loving caring partner for R, a helpful son for your mother and a welcome influence for Little Jo. It does not matter that you are not one of the world's movers and shakers. I'm not either. There are millions of us seemingly insignificant people, but we all have our place. You won't leave behind children, but in your own way, you have left your mark on the world.

  8. Wise words V.

    Thanks Hels. There will be something like you mention left after I am gone.

    FC, I was thinking of ants when I was writing. They actually do something important in nature. All humans seem to do is wreck nature. I liked what Hels said too. I may slip that into conversation one day. Thanks.

    Cheers River. It is better that I don't think about such things and normally I don't.

  9. "Anon"I enjoy your writing, most of it.10:52 am

    I come and go, but enjoy your postings, most of them.
    Everyone has a reason to be here. To me, yours is near the top.

  10. "Anon"11:12 am

    Yes well it's a bit messed up, that comment. My first writing tip is to be in a hurry. I was, and look what happened.

  11. Wow, I didn't see that coming.

    Each day I check your blog. It's number one on my list. You never fail. Postings of variety and diversity. All of them original thinking. The thoughts are all your own.

    Your posts reveal something of yourself but not everything, of course, few people would or could do that.

    Why are you here and what is the point of you? As unanswerable as what is the meaning life. Applies to us all.

    All I can say is that the ejaculation that produced you was mighty powerful and successful. All your loyal followers are grateful for that.

  12. Nice words Victor and you made me laugh at the end.

  13. Dunno what the point is, Andrew and, believe me, I've made myself incredibly sick trying to figure it out.

    Instead, I now see life as a work in progress. All we can really do is try out our best to be decent people and not hurt anyone else as well as feel endlessly grateful that we have people to love who love us back.

    Chocolate, booze and dogs help too. LOVE your writing, Andrew!

  14. I'm with FruitCake - who says there has to be a point? But if we want there to be one, who defines what that point is?? Why does 'I must leave something behind' or 'I must reproduce' or 'I must be someone important' had to be the point of my life? Your life doesn't HAVE to have a point as defined by someone else. It's up to you!

    But reaching out and touching (figuratively) so many people from all around the world must count for something, right?

  15. Aw Kath, you being a professional and all that, quite a compliment. It seems higher up the animal chain you go, the less the purpose of existence.

    Red, truly I am quite satisfied with my life and I would like to leave something behind, but... well just but...

    Yes, who would have thunk that you could make such good friends by stabbing at a keyboard. It is a different sort of friendship to the traditional but equally valid and you can switch them off if you want!

  16. Wow.

    I've been thinking these same types of things lately...a lot.

    There's so much pressure to BE something, contribute something huge to society, leave something behind....


    Why can't we just live to live; and enjoy life?

    Is it not enough to contribute small things to the scratch someone's back or vacuum the living room?

    As for you leave behind this blog. That's pretty big. It's full of educational information and lovely stories. I'm sure you've given a lot to R. You help your mother. You're a wonderful uncle; and I think that's more important than spreading your seed so you can have progeny.

    Is there a point to any of that? I have no idea.

    Maybe the whole point of life is to wonder what is the whole point of life.

    It could be just one big joke.

  17. Dina, maybe thoughts like these are to stop overconfidence and too much self satisfaction. Thanks for your comment.

  18. There doesn't have to be a point I don't think. As long as you're getting some enjoyment out of your world, then you're doing okay. Don't think too much x

  19. Fen, I try not to think much. It is depressing. I am not unhappy with my life, as pointless as it may be.