Wednesday, March 21, 2012


I could complain, except I have no-one to do so to. I shall do it here then.

For those who have picked up the nuance, things have been tense in the High Rise. It is softening this evening after a loud and very stressed outburst. Yes, I am the most unreasonable and uncaring person in the world.

But tomorrow is His birthday. I have bought a card, which I will leave for him to find in the morning, but a gift? Well, I've not done that. A vase? I did that for christmas. A kitchen appliance? I did think of one of those grinding spinning blade things that you hold in your hand and pulverise food stuffs. I am not so bad to buy for. A book or a bottle of something vaguely alcoholic will always do me. R does read, but never quite gets lost in books like I do. He is not a cereal packet reader at the breakfast table like me.

Vouchers between us are silly. I am thinking a bunch of flowers and a bottle of very fine Scotch. While I may get a new bed via insurance, R has long wanted a new bed. Should I buy him a very expensive bed shop voucher?

Seems like there will be 18 people at R's birthday dinner on Saturday night. Three of the people we won't even know until the night. Thanks for that BAD. We could round it off to an even 20 if you want to come along. Send me an email. It will be in a St Kilda bordering on Balaclava hotel.

Then on Saturday it is Mother's birthday. Tradie Brother who lives in the swamps of Langwarrin is doing a barbe for us on Sunday. The plan was to go on and then see the Frankston sand sculptures but there is an event in Frankston, some sort of fun run thingie, so we shall avoid Frankston and instead go to Royal Botanic Gardens, the Cranbourne branch. We have been there before and it is good. All native plants. If I was more together I would link back to my post when we went there.

Bone Doctor and Little Jo are staying Friday night. BD is lecturing in the City on Saturday so R will look after Little Jo on Saturday. Sister will arrive by train Saturday afternoon. They are among the guests for R's birthday dinner and they will then go and crash at BD's father's place in Oakleigh. Bone Doctor's parents live kind of separately sometimes. One lives in Oakleigh and the other in South Gippsland, except it is interchangeable and often the same place.

Perhaps that is the relationship R and I should have. Could we love if we lived in separate abodes?

Any suggestion for what to buy for R will be considered. Ah, what about a sat nav for his car?


  1. Two tickets for a special event is always a welcome birthday present, and they sit so neatly inside the birthday card. Depending on R's tastes, the tickets might be for a play, concert, NGV function or lecture.

    Happy birthday tomorrow!

  2. Hello Andrew:
    We are saddened to read that things are a little tense in the High Rise and a birthday party tomorrow should be such a happy time to look forward to.

    We should suggest a massive hand tied bunch of spring flowers and a table for two at a good restaurant.

    Whatever,life is too short for being miserable, so kiss and make up!!!

  3. Personally, I'd be happy with the flowers and Scotch but I'm easy. I've always liked the idea of having a relationship where my partner lives in a separate house. You get the best of both worlds.

  4. Always this stress of working out the balance between being together and being separate in a relationship.. Flowers and a lovely meal out with no one else around would be enough for me, too. A chance to ease the pressure, get a bit of air into your minds and hopefully, kiss and make-up.

  5. Anonymous7:44 am

    Surprise him with a bit of makeup sex for his birthday Andrew, in his new bed.

  6. Hels, I didn't think of that. Good idea.

    JayLa, I expect it will be dinner out somewhere, and flowers at home.

    Rubye, that sort of r'ship seems to work for many people.

    Christine, it is what I would like. He too I think.

    Anon, memories.....

  7. Horrible when you go through these times - There were many times when Don and I didn't make it...even left for six months in 1984 - things were terrible but in the following years - maybe because of his disability we had to sleep in the same room - 99% wonderful but when we had rows it was tempting to sleep separate - for safety reason i couldn't - at sometime during the nigh after trouble He would fling his arm (couldn't move normally) in my general direction not to hit me but in affection - or I would sneak my hand in under his neck where he could feel - and although the issues were not magically gone away somehow and in some place we held together - I think and can only speak for us - that if you lessen contact and touch even if just affection...not so good long term - I have friends who now sleep in separate rooms - he snores or something - no chance of passion or affection then - hope it all sorts itself out and is just a blip for now

  8. If only I could post the old Leunig cartoon of the "ironman" competition - complete with ironing board.
    Sunday there will be many major roads including Eastlink Northbound closed for most of the day while people in funny costumes swim, run and cycle hither and yon, so plan your trip carefully!

    Perhaps the birthday toast will be your big chance to make things right?

  9. CHOCOLATE from the glam LINDT cafe/shop in Collins St (opposite Australia Arcade).
    Winter is coming so divine luxury warm long socks like Pantherella cashmere from Henry Bucks?
    anything from Henry Bucks really.
    X X X

  10. Comedy Festival tickets? I always go to comedy festival shows for my birthday, I am easily pleased.

    Enjoy your dinner x

  11. MC, you would agree that love certainly grows in time. Having to sleep in the same bed I think would certainly bring about a quicker resolution to issues. However, I just could just not sleep with anyone overnight now. Go to sleep cuddling but then one gets out of bed and goes to their own. Having your own bed can be a marriage saver, although yes, not great for spontaneity.

    FruitCake, things are ok now. I was right. It was a five dayer. Thanks for the info about closures. I did not realise it was so extensive. I will check carefully.

    Em Stacks, I just notice the shop about a week ago. Wouldn't lightening strike if I entered Henry Bucks?

  12. I'd go with the bottle of wine and huge bunch of flowers, tied to the neck of the wine bottle an envelope with a gift voucher from the bed store.
    All to be given at a quiet dinner for two.

  13. River, pretty close to what happened.