Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Going, going, last bid, gone

Brighton Antique Dealer sold her abode by auction at the weekend. It is a shop/house but quite different to the Asian version of a shop/house. It has a shop at the front, living area behind and bedrooms and bathroom upstairs and a decent sized courtyard at the rear with a free standing tv projection room. The stairs have a travelling seat, I have forgotten the name of the stair seat system, but it is a bit of fun to use, although slow and no speed control. Dame M rode on it once, she appeared around the stair return waving regally as she descended.

BAD is moving up the street a bit to a place full of rich widows and retired but helpless supreme court judges. Her requirements are modest, so it will be a very affordable one bedroom place. Her toyboy who is actually older than her can kip on the couch if he wants to stay over. BAD is pushing 80, so she needs to make her life a bit easier.

A few of our friends came along for the auction. Our dyke friend came. Our Ex NT policeman/politician friend was on air broadcasting on some old persons radio station, but his partner and his partner's boyfriend came along. Lo and behold, a neighbour of ours in our building was there. Finding out how she knew BAD was interesting. Friend of a neighbour apparently. The woman I am referring to was the one who had all the trouble with our Famous Bearded Media Person Resident (ailing) when he used to light his chimminier and burn papers and the ash and smoke flowed into her next door apartment.

I thought the suggested sale price by the agent was low. It seemed it was as BAD received considerably more than what the agent suggested, although only a bit more than what she thought.

BAD has such an interesting past, well she is still interesting. Her first husband, the father of her two children, one a dyke, was Iranian. He had the biggest biggest, well she did say it was the biggest she had ever seen. Her second husband was a rich yachtie who died and she loved him dearly. Well so she should as he set her up very well financially. Now her toyboy is presumably straight, but knows the gay scene too well for my liking. He has painted the interior of the Exchange Hotel too often for my liking. Otherwise, BAD surrounds herself with rich older Brighton women and gay men of fame and some like us, pretty plain and ordinary. Between husbands, BAD went through a bohemian artistic phase too.

Just as BAD sold her home and moved into the shop/house, a developer bought the place next door, demolished and built a smart new abode. BAD fought him tooth and nail over infringements involving solicitors, council and VCAT. The developer saw her as an old woman next door and took liberties and she took as set against him. At the auction he tried to have revenge by blurting out about how her property was in a flood zone, had been flooded twice, and had a large tree in the backyar that could not be removed. The auctioneer handled the interruption well and smoothed things over and given BAD received more for the place than she expected, he had no impact, but it did make for an interesting auction. The truth is yes, there is a large gum tree in the back yard cannot be removed. It is quite a nice tree really. Not sure why you would want to cut it down. BAD's place has flooded once, earlier this year when many places flooded. The water came in her back door and flowed out her front door. Not much damage but perhaps was the push that made her put her place on the market. She said she should move before she got to the stage of when she could no longer cope with such events.

She asked us earlier if we would like to stay for celebratory glass of champers and we hung around for a good while but the signing was taking too long. We had a party in the swamps of Langwarrin to attend. Of course as soon as we left she called us and asked us to come back. Sorry BAD, catch you up soon.

Hah, caring bitch dyke cow daughter didn't even attend her mother's auction. BAD, Andrew Highriser will find me when you write your will.


  1. I can confirm the rumour about Iranians. My eyes are starting to water at the memory....
    Rob in Sydney.

  2. Haha Rob. Interesting. I did pump her for as much detail as was decent.


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