Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Man Crush

Our ABC Melbourne Radio's afternoon host Boring Burns was taking talk back this week about the Oscars or some film award thingie. I don't really care, but the question was asked who is hot in the movies. Well, I knew some of the suggestions. Straight girls were also calling in with who in the movies they had a girl crush on. A girl crush is not a lesbian thing. I can accept that. I admire women for their nice looks, the way they dress, their hotness. I get that. Just for once, the Burns woman was not disturbed.

But when straight blokes started calling in with who they had a man crush on, I was troubled. This is getting weird. I am feeling uncomfortable. I better take a look at Urban Dictionary in case I am misunderstanding what a man crush is.

'The highest tier of a man's love for another man, without having any sexual want towards the man.' But what if your man crush target desires you? Could you knock your man crush back?

'An intense infatuation of one straight man for another.' Infatuation can only be cured by one thing, a disappointing experience with the object of your desire.

There was a guy at school, in my time not a place to come out, who was a couple of years senior to me and I am pretty sure he was straight, yet he openly confessed to adoring David Cassidy and wanted to marry him. I too adored David, but I did not want marry him. Trying to make babies with him would have been good enough. Oh how I hungered for David, in the manner of adolescent school girl. I did not know what I wanted from him, I just wanted him and I would bear whatever he wanted to do.

Do I recall that it was either Nijinsky or Novello who had men and women falling at his feet?

Nah, I am not liking this man crush thing. Call me an intolerant old poof if you like, but either you lust after a guy or you don't. I'll wear that a bloke can hold another bloke in high esteem, but there are lines that ought not be crossed.


  1. I think it's the whole "I'm not gay, I just lust after certain men" thing.
    Cos homophobia is the last bastion of 'acceptable' intolerance, donchaknow.

  2. The other word is 'Bromance' - close friendship of two guys who love hanging out together.

    JD and Turk on 'Scrubs' personify this perfectly.

  3. I worked for a few years with an aggressively opinionated straight man (TC) in the 1970s who had the most obvious 'man crush' on three other straight men in the office, with football and cricket playing backgrounds.

    TC had no sympathy for gays or gay life and would not so much as looked at me let alone associated with me except that the three crushes all were very friendly with me and socialised with me frequently.

    So TC suffered me with barely concealed antagonism. One day, without thinking, I mentioned in TC's presence that someone or other had annoyed me to the extent that I felt like 'slapping him'. TC jumped at the opening I had created, obviously believing I had outed myself with this soft wording. Leering at me he bellowed "Waadaya mean 'slapped' wouldn't ya punch him?" To TC's clear frustration the crushes nearby were quite indifferent to the whole matter and he never again challenged me.

  4. Oh and by the way I would also have enjoyed trying to make babies with David Cassidy in those days when he was just the cutest partridge of them all.

  5. Ah yes, a partridge in the hand is worth two in the bush.

  6. Your Lordship, that's the most entendre entendre ever.

  7. Perhaps Jayne. Seems there are no rules for sexuality.

    Kath, acceptable up to a certain age. Above the age of say 25, it starts to look suspicious. Funnily when you are the ages of 53 and 61, it seems less suspicious.

    Victor, he must have thought you would steal his boyfriends from him with your hotness. Interesting situation. Wasn't David just luscious.

    LS, I am swooning at the thought of that partridge in my hand.

    Was it two entendres Jah Teh? Must be a double then.

  8. So, have you never been attracted to a female? You've never had a crush on a girl, despite not wanting to have sex with her?

    I don't know. I guess for some people it's all about sex. Being attracted to someone means you want to have sex with them.

    For some of us, we can have a crush on very attracted to someone....but it's not in a sexual way.

    Or for some people, it can be an anomaly. They're usually hetero or homo, but then someone special comes along and they make an exception.

    I don't think it has anything to do with homophobia. I think homophobic people would shy away from admitting girl and man crushes. I think they're the people who get all squeamish about it.

    I personally think it's unfortunate that we draw such strict lines between gay and straight.

  9. Dina, I can't recall ever having any kind of crush on a girl or woman, although I could have sex with a woman. I just don't desire to. I can be attracted to some guys, but not want sex with them.

    I do believe what you say about a person being essentially straight, but along comes a special person of the same sex. Seems to be more common with girls.

    I think you are right about homophobia. You readily admit girl crushes.

    I do like the phrase 'of fluid sexuality', but it isn't me.

  10. I think we're the opposite then. I'm attracted to girls, but wouldn't want to have sex with them.

  11. "Intolerant old poof" hahaha Don used to call himself a "useless bloody cripple" and people's mouths would drop - he was anything but useless but he was a cripple - call a spade a spade - I doubt you are intolerant just as he was not useless