Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Check yourself at Coles

We have mastered self checkouts at Safeway. (At what point will I have to start saying Woolworths?) The only problem I ever had really was knowing when a bag could be removed from where you place goods after scanning them. I use self check it if it suits me and usually which I judge to be quicker, normal or self check out.

Self check out has started to appear in Coles supermarkets. It amused me to notice that no one was using the system in the Prahran store when I was recently there.

Today I had to grab a couple of things in Malvern Coles. What a laugh. I almost did out loud. I think there were six self checkouts. Four of them being used by quite old people with two staff flitting between the four, almost operating the self check out for them.

The transactions were taking twice as long as it would at a staffed check out and from what I saw rather spoils the the intent of self check out, that is to save on labour costs.

Like at auto tellers, if there are old people in front of you, head for a staffed check out. I suppose I should say good on them for giving technology a go, but I won't.


  1. Jack likes to use the self check-out. He thinks it's fun. I'm willing if we have a very small amount of items. Otherwise, I like to go the old fashioned route.

  2. As an ex-checkout chick, I have to say I enjoy being the checker again. I find them fun. Even eldest wants to have a go (practice for her future job maybe?)
    I too had issues with bag removal, til someone pointed out the red/green lights to me. What an eye opener! No probs now, and I don't have the register voice tell me to replace my bag, and I don't tell it to shut up - bonus!

  3. Not recommended for a lot of shopping Dina. I agree.

    What red and green lights Raelene? Ahhh. I have had very similar conversations with the automated voice.

  4. I used the self checkouterers at Big W in the city today, it was a breeze. I enjoy using them :)

  5. Yes, I have used them too Fen. The express check out amazes me. Such a long line of people, but it moves so quickly.

  6. I tell the damn thing to shut the f**k up quite often...and I refuse to use them as they replace employees.

  7. Those 'old people' going slowly, probably fill out a quaddie faster n lightning, so just give them a second to master it.
    I love self-scan.
    Everything should be self-scan.
    I'm a control freak.

  8. Jayne, I held out against self serve petrol until the mid nineties, ditto auto tellers, but the company will win in the long run.

    I wouldn't have a clue on how to fill in a quaddie Ann. I am happy to use them, but I don't pack as well as the staff do.

  9. Anonymous11:49 pm

    I used one for the first time today at Woolies and I needed assitance, you guessed it, I needed to know when to remove the bag.. I will know next time, thanks to the young attendant.

  10. Cazzie, most first time users seem to think you need to pass the item past the scanner, rather than show the bar code to the scanner.

  11. I refuse to use them for the simple reason that it requires less staff.

  12. You will be rewarded with hours of great amusement at Speak Your bRANE blog on self-checkout.

    The SYB blog's theme is to always rip into idiot newspaper commentors like AndrewBolt's at The Hun.

    SYB links to a BBC item on self checkout, with hilarious comments from various phobes - "I hate standing behind women and old people" - and then the Speak Yo Brane commentors go really funny on the BBC commentors.
    It all leads to a game Checkout Freakout where people think up 3 items to do that - eg: a cucumber, vaseline, and condoms.
    As if checkout chicks don't have a hard enough life as it is.
    Anyhow, follow the links and laugh.

  13. Freakout the Checkout is at Listopia - a favourite site of our pal Phill in QLD.
    Here are the first few - I started laughing so hard I couldnt cut n paste any more -

    You're in Tesco. What 3 things do you take to the checkout to confuse and unsettle the gawping staff?
    Pregnancy test, bucket, BBQ tongs.
    3 grapes
    The checkout girl's own car keys, duvet cover and headless kitten.
    50+ porn mags, jumbo pack of toilet rolls, mop
    Doughnuts, Crayons, Vodka (I actually did this).
    Camcorder, Write Your Own Will Kit, Bin Laden biography
    frozen chicken, rubber gloves, family tub of swafega
    Pound of lamb's liver, pack of hygienic wipes, copy of "Horse and Hound"
    Bible, crayons, bread knife.
    Copy of "World of Warcraft", Sunblock, Condoms.
    True story (i.e. not as funny): My most recent Tesco basket contained three bottles of wine for £10, a pack of 12 condoms and a padlock.
    3 Jeremy Clarkson books.
    Wank mags, spray mount, copy of Just Seventeen
    Black bin liners, 'Value' webcam, cucumbers.
    A cucumber, a pack of razor blades and a disposable camera.
    A child's training bra, a colouring book and a tube of whipped cream
    Cat food, razor, Baby Gro.
    Jamie Oliver cookbook, anal douching kit, bottle of Toilet Duck.
    Pampers, an enema, and three pounds of minced pork.
    Trowel, disposable barbecue, white babygro
    Razorblades, Paracetemol, Kasabian album.
    Webcam, KY Jelly, butternut squash
    sleeping bag, gravy mix, filo pastry
    Childs birthday cake, Olive Oil, Pick-axe Handle.
    Absinthe, Clingfilm and a dog muzzle
    Mouse trap, stock cubes, pie crust.
    Box of elastic bands, a childs potty and a sharp pair of scissors.
    Colon cleanser, gaffer tape and a length of hose.
    Large Crucifix, White Bed Sheet and a Petrol Can.
    KY Jelly, lighter fluid, frozen turkey ...

  14. Eggzactly Rob. But you making a stand won't make an iota of difference. I have learnt this much.

    Brownie, I will look at your links tomorrow. You are so clever.


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