Thursday, April 23, 2009

Never been kissed before

The English folks are going off about this lass, or should that be matron? Who is this Scottish chickie babe? I try to resist popular culture and fail all the time. Have you heard her sing? She is magic. She hasn't been kissed by any girl or a guy, in a proper way. Can I assume she has not been penetrated, as yet? I was up for rolling the eyes until I heard her sing.

I will cautiously overcome my scepticism..........

That is how I started this post a few days ago and that is embarrassing writing. It was up for an edit, but regardless, I'll just leave it for now as a lesson to myself on how not to write. I was right to be sceptical me thinks and that was even before watching the actual clip on Youtube. I had heard her sing and seen a still photo of her.

I had the impression that she was a simple country lass from a small village who for some reason could sing like a angel. She had devoted herself to looking after her aged parents and never had the opportunity to form a romantic relationship. It wasn't sitting quite right for me though. The cheering made it hard to hear her voice properly, but from what I did hear, it was exceptionally good and she had vocal TECHNIQUES.

The next day I watched the whole clip and quickly concluded that like most of these shows, it was all very managed and the feigned surprise by the judges, just that, feigned.

With very little searching, up came a Youtube clip of her singing Cry Me a River right back in 1999. Beautiful. But the vocal techniques very obvious, even to a non musical person like me.

I suppose she could have learned this herself by listening to recordings, but I am very doubtful. It sounds awfully like a trained voice to me.

Not that it all really matters that much. Britains Got Talent and Susan Boyle has received publicity that all the tea in China could not buy. I hope Ms Boyle does well. She truly has a fantastic voice and is no doubt enjoying her fifteen minutes plus of fame. I certainly don't see her as any sort of victim, or niave, that's for sure.


  1. pluck the fkn eyebrows.

    how many glamour photos have we seen of chicks like angelina and brooke shields to figure it out?

  2. i've refused to watch it so far, yeah yeah voice of an angel, whateverrrrrr, don't care! HAH!

  3. To be honest, after all the hype, when I finally got to hear her I just thought, well, that was ordinary at best. Not bad. Not exceptional. Just ordinary.

    In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that she's got a face like a burst mattress then she would probably have gone unnoticed.

    This says vast amounts about the general public. Never mind the pop industry's cynical attitude towards looks and glamour. The general public now cooing and fawning over all of this obviously have a few issues of their own to deal with, not least the need to consider themselves as decent people without actually putting any thought into it.

    Cynical, me? No...cynical means the ability to recognise and manipulate people. Fucked off with all the bullshit? Oh yes...I won't deny that.

  4. how succinctly Fenz and Lord Hughes expressed what I meant to convey.
    I have not heard it.
    Soul is why we would listen
    No soul is apparent.
    No. Soul.
    stomps off to hear Big Mama Thornton, of whom, nobody ever said
    "how amazing that a chick who don look like a cover-girl can sing".

  5. Agree Ann. She needs a good plucking.

    Maintain your look down your nose at such matters Fenz. I should.

    Think you are reading too much into it Brian. TV, not much more to be said. So as well as what is found in dirt, you know about voice talent too. I am impressed.

    Quite so Ann. The talent of a good voice never had to matched to stunning looks in the past. Welcome to the new world.

  6. I think she might be an autistic savant. That might explain the natural singing ability...and also the social awkwardness.

    I think what struck me is her seemingly lack of concern about being teased. And the confidence.

    That's one of the things that concerned me about Jack (raised a red flag) is kids would be mean to him on the playground, and he didn't seem to care or notice. It's like he was missing those social cues.

  7. Maybe Dina. It is plausible, but I don't think so. Umm, am I misreading this? Is Jack autistic?

  8. I've never gotten an official diagnosis. But some of the traits fit him.

    I consider him mildly autistic. At this point, I see it more as a blessing. When he was younger, it was more challenging.

  9. Anonymous11:34 pm

    Come on what's wrong with the never been kissed before frump from a little village in Scotland? She has a dam sight better voice then our own singing budgie (aka Kylie). Give the old girl her time in the spot light, she deserves it after looking after her now deceased mum.

    Check out Jay Lenno's take on her on you tube it's a classic too.

  10. Andrew,

    I might not be an expert in music and voice training, but I'd like to think I have a good enough ear to tell the difference between an Alison Moyet and a Jayne MacDonald. I'm not a member of the RSC either, but I don't rank Arnold Schwarzenegger's chances of joining their repertoire very highly next year.

    The fact that, unless the press discover Ms Boyle's seceret penchant for eating puppies, she's going to win the contest outright, even if better singing voices appear throughout the series, shows that body fascism amongst Joe Public is still extremely rife. The only difference now is that Joe Public will be judging in her favour for her looks rather than against her. I strongly suspect the public are atoning for the horrible deeds they themselves perpetrated against fat spotty kids when they were young.

    Whatever the case, Simon Cowell will continue to get rich on the manipulation of the general public and the general public will continue to let him. And to be honest, they deserve each other.

    Great music is dead. Long live the cheesey talent show.

  11. Anonymous3:39 am

    Brian Hughes for PM.

    No, make that Emperor of the World!

    Walker :)

    PS: Still nice to see someone like Susan getting attention as opposed to dross like "Lady" Blahblah

  12. Despite the fact I don't watch these dreadful shows they still impinge on my daily life with drivel in newspapers, blurbs on TV, etc, and I agree with what Anonymous said - if I'm going to have to have the latest "musical find" shoved down my gullet everytime I open my front door then at least it's not some dolly bird with shyte for brains warbling exactly like every other air-brushed bimbo.
    And another thing - she's at least chosen decent music to sing decently, a change from some mangled, chewed up bit of vocal torture the bimbos dragged up from their childhood that Tinky Winky could mime better in the shower under water.

  13. Ok Dina. Sorry if I missed it somewhere along the way.

    Absolutely nothing wrong Anon. More power to her. I think there is just a bit more than meets the eye.

    She probably will Brian. Now watch the tv publicity machine crank up for her next performance, this time in front of the world.

    Wlaker, the idea just occurred to me of upper class women sitting in their drawing rooms watching her on tv with their jaws slack.

  14. As always Jayne, succinct.

  15. Matron,she is not, chookter, I think is more accurate.

  16. What a ripper word Ian. Wonder if they would know it in Dunedin, New Zealand, where they still speak with Scottish accents.

  17. Hi Andrew

    I think the joke may yet be on Simon Cowell as he struggles to maintain an illusion of competition on BGT. What makes me chuckle is the thought of all the millions he's losing by not being able to make a record with her now while the air-headed public are interested enough to buy it. Who knows, by the time the end of the competition rolls around, they might have transferred their affection to some sword-swallowing Siamese twins.



  18. Oh Pants, from so far you are so cynical about the British public.......ah, that's right, you were one of them.

  19. Ah, Susan Boyle.

    Alud Jones' hirsute love child.

    Let's see how well she goes (like Alud didn't) after her balls drop.

    Was that cruel?

    Yep, guess it was.

    If she gets a gig on 'Bondi Vet' I might reconsider my scurrilous comment ... then again maybe not.

    Contrived confection is the phrase that comes readily to mind.

    (Then again I've always thought that Chad Morgan was God's gift to music.)

  20. Had to google Alud Jones, but now I do see your point.

  21. Todays items in GuugleNews on Ms Boyle all mentioned her ABI ...
    so now it all makes sense.
    Brain injured since birth.

    It's not over till The Frump Lady Sings


  22. What occurred to me FG, was how well she walked in heels. Now it may surprise you, but I know how hard it can be to walk in heels, but she did it so confidently and well, I thought.