Saturday, February 14, 2009

Eyes for the Guys

Some time ago, a blog mate posed the question of whether gay guys look for the same in men as women do. I have pondered a little over this in the subsequent weeks and the easy answer is yes.......and no.

What one person finds very appealing about a person may not appeal to another. It is just such an individual thing. As I have said in the past, I first look at the way someone carries themselves and then perhaps grooming. By grooming I don't mean super neat, just some care taken with personal appearance, even if the image being is of rough trade. Gay guys can do a rough trade look better than any straight guy can. I like a nice open smile of course, and naturally, the sexual spark in the eyes. Am I doing your head in yet Reuben? I'll try harder.

We are led to believe that built into a female is an instinct to look for signs of a male being a good potential breeder when choosing a mate. This probably doesn't count when you are talking about gay men checking out other men, although, the idea of a guy who is fertile and capable of producing offspring might have some appeal. I have heard the theory that some men chase after men who are HIV in belief that they can be 'fertilised' by the HIV man.

One area where I think many gay men focus strongly and women do much less is physique, that is muscles. I don't care much for muscles. A hard, or soft, lean body appeals to me much more. Regardless, body shape or size never indicates the quality of the sex you may have.

In a complete reversal, I have gone from when I was young to finding hairy men very appealing to now preferring smooth. 'Gay society' has gone with me. I am not so sure that women have. I would guess many more women like their bloke to have a nice hairy chest.

What can I conclude from thinking aloud above? Probably that gay men and women look for much the same in men. Looks, personality, sense of humour and MONEY!


  1. The only thing I really look for in a gay man is my dick, other than that I'm pretty easy to please.

  2. Anonymous3:47 pm

    That's the homo tragedy: it's all sex.

  3. I like simple men Mutant.

    Mark, I am sure Mutant commented with his tongue firmly in his..........wherever.

  4. I don't like hairy, I do like them breathing. I also like them to be able to speak in English instead of grunt and clean as in showered within the last 12 hours.

    That all goes by the board if they're wearing lemon scented aftershave and wearing anything pale blue in a V-neck.

    Take note, Fleetwood and keep wearing black high necks.

  5. Conversation, brains, lovely eyes, the ability to hold down a job (so yes, security is focus) and the EYES have it for me :)

  6. "We are led to believe that built into a female is an instinct to look for signs of a male being a good potential breeder when choosing a mate."

    From what I can work out most women are looking for drug-addled, wife battering bastards. Introduce them to somebody decent and most of 'em don't want to know.

  7. Clean goes without saying Jahteh. As for the grunt, well, if they do it with style, it can work for me. Ben Cousins and his V neck has a lot to answer for.

    Cazzie, security is important to me too, but I would guess not so high on most gay men's lists.

    Brian, there is a lot of that here too, but I think, from my observations, it is worse in the UK.

  8. dear Hawt Andrew, if you ever had to fight me for George Clooney, I will win.

  9. "I don't like hairy"

    That's me off your wishlist then, Witchy. I'm a hirsute, woolly-chested old teddybear, me.

  10. Anything with a pulse works for me.
    Failing that, 2 AAA batteries will suffice :P

  11. Anonymous2:05 pm

    I tend to prefer smooth over hairy but usually the man it's attached to wins it over for me. And if there's a hairy back involved, he'd better be prepared to wax.

  12. No accounting for taste. Everyone has their own combination of factors they find attractive.

    I wouldn't be too hard on Mutant, most men, gay or straight, think with their dicks.

    I certainly do :-)

  13. 'Ben Cousins and V-neck', well that's off my wish list now. I think my stomach turned over.

  14. Not interesting to me Ann. So no contest.

    Brian, what she says she likes and what she does may be quite different.

    Not a lot of kick from 2 AAAs Jayne.

    Your task to do the hair removal MD. Can be fun.

    It is Victor. There are no rules. I liked Mutant's reply.

    Ben hand feeding you chocolates and whispering sweet things into your ear would not work for you Jahteh?

  15. Anonymous8:25 pm

    I think it might have been my blog post on straight/queer commenting on others' looks half a year ago that triggered this, Andrew.

    I don't think it's that different; sexuality is only a difference insofar as your preference. Nothing more.

  16. Not with my head in a bucket throwing up, it wouldn't.

  17. Actually, I think it was MD who asked the question Reuben. Not blaming you, but not sure I like the word preference. It is not what I prefer, it is how I am.

    Another rich bloke you have knocked back then Jahteh.

  18. Anonymous11:18 pm

    You're right. Preference was wrong because preference implies you have choice over your sexuality.

  19. Pleased you mentioned it Reuben as it made me think. Normally I only think while I have my prescribed three minute shower.

  20. It is a term often used in gay media, same sex preferred.

  21. Anonymous3:50 pm

    Hehe, funnily enough I was thinking about this whilst brushing my teeth last night and thought 'hang on, didn't I ask that question?'

    And I'm with you both on the preference bit. I is what I is.

  22. I don't remember everything MD, but I do try to remember anything like that.