Sunday, December 28, 2008

Sad for you str8 blokes

While we had been into town in the morning and done plenty around the highrise over the rest of the day, we thought we needed another outing and so set off for St Kilda Beach in the new motor. Normally we would have caught a tram and saved ourselves the parking hassle, but we didn't. Mistake.

We drove along the beach front and the low fuel warning light came on. Divert to petrol station. Tank must be bit on the small side.

Just as we left the the car after pay parking, a cool change arrived and people started leaving the beach, but there were still plenty of people around.

We strolled along checking out every guy under thirty and many over and I lamented that Speedos seem to have become unfashionable. But still, I was getting very very 'hot and bothered', quite over cum I was, by all the bare topped guys. Bare chests, hairy, smooth, clippered, shaved or waxed, sexy nipples ready to suck and tease, ripped abs, flat stomachs, stomachs with cute bulges, lean backs, tanned or perfect white skin.

It occured to me how sad it is for straight blokes to not be able to see topless women walking around in such an uncouncious fashion as men do.

Best to keep your shirts on around me guys coz I will be thinking about you, what you would be thinking about a constant passing parade of topless girls.


  1. Anonymous9:14 pm

    It's hard to think that behind that wrinkled exterior lies a raging beast of amorous passion, Andrew.

    To be honest, I don't care if guys or girls fancy me topless (not that they would, mind you...I'm not particularly good looking topless...or with a top on for that matter). If a queer guy tells me that he thinks I'm hot, I'll think it a compliment; why anyone would be disgusted (and believe me, some straight males would be) is frankly beyond me.
    I would hazard a guess that straight women and gay men look for the same features in a man.

  2. Reuben, you have beautifully described my state today at the beach. As for what chests I like, I kind of like very natural ones, slight definition but not really muscle. Given your clothed appearance, I expect I would find your chest quite nice, but it won't age well.

    All compliments should be taken as a compliment, no matter from whom.

    With a vague recollection of a survey many years ago, I don't think straight women and gay men do look for the same features. I may very well post about this. Full credit will be given to you, haha.

  3. I couldn't help but notice you sound a wee bit toey in that post Andrew. Is a day at the beach a dangerous past-time for you? It's becoming so for me I think, for much the same reason.

  4. Half an hour at the beach caused significant toeyness Kezza, in the needing a cold spoon kind of way, never mind a day.

    Better I stay at home in front of pc, than get out among real people.

  5. Topless women + nearby road = huge increase in accidents

  6. I hope you do post about the difference between what straight woman and gay men look at.

    Please! That would be interesting.

    A straight man would have more luck in Australia. There's more topless woman. That doesn't really happen in the US.

  7. "It occured to me how sad it is for straight blokes to not be able to see topless women walking around in such an uncouncious fashion as men do."

    I completely agree. It should be made compulsory by law.

    Having said that, I've just remembered some of the fat old biffers we get round these parts and changed my mind.

  8. Anonymous9:44 am

    Bah, I figure if you're taking your top off, your don't mind being looked at. And if you're lucky enough to be admired, good for you!

  9. Budgie smugglers have a use after all, Andrew?!

  10. Anonymous12:30 pm

    Like Reuben, I honestly wouldn't care where the compliment comes from, a compliment is a compliment and any excuse to expand my head is fine by me (the one on my shoulders).

    Never seen topless women in Melbourne but at Manly beach I found them a frequent occurance. Very nice, as Borat would say.

  11. I know of people in the trucking industry who take that road on a hot day just to look for the "white pointers"...but, now I am thinking, perhaps they are not just looking for the women....perhaps they are looking at the men!
    Looking forward to your post on what men and women look for.
    For me, it is stature, the way a person carries themselves. Then, most importantly, the eyes. I am a sucker for nice eyes :)

  12. Topless bods, the joys of an Aussie summer.
    Great picture too!

  13. Works both ways Rob.

    Will try Dina. I have in mind the survey I read and some additional info.

    Brian, they may as well be out as you see so much of them, more so in England than here, in spite of the weather.

    Totally agree MD. It is only because they are mostly covered up that makes them so desirable.

    Don't like that phrase Jayne. It belittles something very nice. Pun left intact.

    I've seen plenty at St Kilda TDW. I avert my eyes. I notice most men don't.

    Funny Cazzie, I wrote myself a while back about how I look for how someone carries themselves well.

    And Ian, guys lying face down on the sand and not game to get up.

  14. My goodness, that is easily the itchiest you have sounded since I started following your blog.

    I hope the relief matched the desire!

  15. Anonymous9:43 am

    Well in today's papers there is a call from the conservatives in Parliament here in Sydney to have topless women banned from our beaches. This place is going down the gurgler pretty fast - next we will be back in neck to knee swimwear. Bloody religious right controlling our state government.

  16. Anonymous2:12 pm

    All this talk about chests and it's time for bed. Whatever shall I do? (Extremely lucky I didn't read this morning, eh?)

  17. Itchy is a good word to describe it Victor.

    I recall there being plenty at Bondi Anon, much to the interest of Asian tourists.

    Guess you don't mean read a book Daisy.

  18. Budgie smugglers?!

    When I desport myself on the beach, being the modest, self effacing sort of chap I am, I try not to take too much notice of the "Phew, that's a wedge tailed eagle smuggler if ever I've seen one!" comments I constantly hear.

    (Which reminds me I must apply for an AVO to stop Coppertop stalking me down along Kerford Road.)

    ,,, and you have yourself a top notch New Year's knight Shirl.

  19. Thank you Lord Sedgwick. I have been thinking about an alternative to budgie smugglers for self descriptive purposes. I now have one.