Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Crowds

The task was to move briskly along a main street in our city. Quite difficult when the street was littered with christmas shoppers.

I stood back for a moment until I saw a solid and suited man with good presence who looked like he was going somewhere. Never choose a woman for this. They will stop to look in shop windows.

I slipped into the man's slipstream (no don't, please) and like an icebreaker, he moved through the crowds with me trailing along behind him. I did not get pushed or shoved. I did not have to dodge around people. I did not have to step to one side to avoid a collision. I got to where I was going feeling very relaxed and pleased with myself.

Give it a shot. I find it quite successful. Two people side by side moving briskly can work too, especially if they are holding hands.


  1. The only problem is that if the ice-breaker in front of you comes to an abrupt halt for any reason then you end up being a barnacle on their arse for a moment or too, although thats not without its advantages too.

  2. Anonymous3:24 pm

    I love that trick, it's very useful in pubs/clubs/bars, except you have to do it with hot girls. You find a train of 1-3 hot girls (or more I guess) who everyone is happy to let walk through and you jump on the back of their train as if you're part of the group! Suddenly no more hip and shoulders coming your way.

  3. Anonymous5:52 pm

    Let me guess... Bourke St Mall? I work not far from there and should I ever have to venture outside, I tend to do so by walking in a straight line with fierce determination. Most people move, but I think the height and clacking of my heels help as well.

  4. No way in hell am I going to walk down the street holding your hand.

  5. Alternatively, walk around shouting, "There's cameras watching me! They eat babies, y' know! They're all aliens!" That soon clears a path.

  6. Anonymous8:45 pm

    I like Brian's idea. I saw the crowds there today as well...and I resorted to my ankle-kicking technique to get people moving.

  7. was it me?

    i've been traipsing the city most days lately and i have a knack for getting through crowds

  8. Andrew, I heart you!! I will definately use this strategy next time I am anywhere!! I hate crowds...which is the reason I usually shop very late at night after an afternoon shift. Only thing is, I am really tired by the time I get there after work. But, at least it is done.

  9. In this case Kezza, I would not want to crash into him but your point is valid and it is possible that I may have 'accidently' crashed into someone or two.

    Why did you not mention this ten years ago TDW, when I used to go to bars! Ah yeah, you would have been a little takka.

    We'd only be pretending Andy.

    So that is your method Brian. I like it and it would work well here, but I am not sure it would work well in England where half the population seems eccentric and very tolerant of such.

    Yes Reuben, that works too. I use it as a last resort.

    I am sure if I was walking behind you Kiki, I would have 'accidently' crashed into you.

    I couldn't do that Cazzie. I would come home with stuff I did not need and forget to what I was supposed to.

  10. Missed one. Nothing changes.

    No MD. You think I am so stupid to try and walk through Bourke Street Mall? It was along Lonsdale between Elizabeth and Swanston. That was bad enough.

  11. "I am not sure it would work well in England where half the population seems eccentric."

    Not eccentric, Andrew...mentally over interbred is the politically correct term.

  12. I use the dreaded white cane to crack a few ankles and I do the striding through the crowds.
    Got nfi where I'm going but I'm putting distance between me and the festive freaks :P

  13. Part of its problem and part of its charm Brian.

    Between you and Reuben, Jayne, it is a wonder anyone has any ankles left.

  14. The girl train is an awesome spectacle. However, as anything starts off as fun, it ends in tears, usually when I find myself in a small room which has a whole bunch of women and no urinal.

  15. Rob, would you like me to take you out to a club where you would follow a girl train and end up where there is a urinal?


Democracy is all very well, but why give it to the people? - Audrey Forbes-Hamilton.