Saturday, March 22, 2008

Separation then and now

It certainly would not have happened in my young days. Miss Diarist wrote an interesting post about separating from who would seem to be her boyfriend. He is going overseas, but it is perhaps more complicated than that.

My 21 year old nephew has lived with his girlfriend for at least eighteen months. She is very nice and our family like her. He is going to Glasgow for an unknown time mid this year. He will leave her and they are unsure if they will get back together. He said to her, 'Well, you will probably meet someone........' The marvellousness of young people and their flexibility and tolerance.

I now switch to my 'old person' mode. Come on. Commit or don't. You cannot always have your cake and eat it too. Surely if you decide to live with someone and all that entails, you need to love them or feel very strongly for them. Why would you want to leave them to go off and have fun on your own?

While I expect Miss Diarist is feeling a little bruised, I think it is good that her beau clearly indicated that he did not consider her life long partner material. My nephew is not the brightest pea in the pod and he has looked forward to this Scottish sojourn for longer than he has known his g/f, but still. All very odd. I will give his mother a good cross questioning when I see her on Monday.


  1. Hey Andrew!! Happy Easter!
    Wow for the new lay out.... i like it. I am amazed at your ability to blog daily, really!

  2. Anonymous11:27 am

    Whilst being the old person that you are, Andrew, as a youngster, I have no qualms about being flexible. Most teenagers embark on relationships for sex nowadays anyway. The whole concept of love is being twisted. On the other hand, perhaps when your generation was in its teens, it was as sex-mad as we are. Maybe more so with all that "free love Hippy business" that your generation tends to gloat about!

  3. I had firm plans to move back to Vic from WA years ago in my youth and started dating a noice young chap who fully expected me to change my plans once we became an "item". Too bad, so sad, ta-ra and wish me luck as you wave me goodbye!
    These days I couldn't do it, something about old age... lol.

  4. Oh and Happy Easter!

  5. Anonymous1:54 pm

    Indeed. Happy holidays. I can't say happy Easter, though, because I am an atheist non-consumerist and so this whole Easter thingy doesn't really apply to me.

  6. Thanks Bulski. Keep the pics of him coming.

    Ta Jayne and Reuben, to you too. Oh, new avatar Jayne.

  7. And Jayne, you received an award from Ian in Canberra.

  8. Reuben, I am post hippy generation but I don't think much has changed about the desire for sex.

  9. Count me in to the old peoples brigade. Jiminy & I had been together for about 2 months when he went to the US to work for 4 months. It had been organised months before we got together, so there was no question of changing plans or cancelling, and I knew he was going away when we started dating.

    All our friends were really unpleasant about the whole thing, like "well what's the point of staying together since he's away and he's just going to cheat on you". Nice and supportive, guys! Just what you want to hear when your boyfriend's going away for twice as long as the sum total of time you've spent together.

    I think younger people ie my friends etc are more used to pushing boundaries. Parents want to be best friends with their kids, so they let our generation get away with a lot more, and we're used to being able to push and push a lot further before something breaks down. So, people do the whole 'what happens in Vegas' thing. Because really, if you're going to be apart from your significant other for longer than a couple of hours, who can expect you not to cheat on them?

    Also, I think there's this whole romanticised idea of love. So people are more likely to think they TOTALLY TRULY MADLY DEEPLY LOVE their current partner, regardless of how many 'the ones' they've already had or their age. Except it's not necessarily a deep commitment or feeling like that, and they make it too quickly because we no longer know what it's like to really love one person. Maybe we're too selfish? And so we get confused when we find it so easy to break up with/break the heart of someone we think we love. Maybe love is like this for everyone? And then cheating and shallow relationships become a way of life. So it's assumed that if someone moves away for work or uni or whatever, then we will break up - or if we stay together then both partners will just cheat. It's just the way it is!

    People need to get a grip and stop thinking they love their first boyfriend or girlfriend.

    Bah humbug!

  10. Mature beyond your years Non Blondie. Nice to see you back and you made much more effort with your comment then I did with my post. I really am going to ask sis in law about it tomorrow. I am puzzled as it does not seem to be a love of high passion, but a very relaxed comfortable one. So agree with your parent as a friend line. It is wrecking how things are meant to be.

  11. Anonymous1:31 pm

    Ultimately you're right, Andrew.

    When it comes down to it I'm glad that it came out now rather than later, as I'd have been a mess had the relationship developed further only to be told 'see you later'.

    I think Non Blondie has a point. I was only talking to a girlfriend yesterday about how instant gratification is a hallmark of Gen Y. Is it simply that things have been easy come, easy go for us for so long that it now applies to relationships as well?

  12. You may well be correct about gen Y MD, but perhaps now they just have to get a bit older before........can't think of the right words.