Monday, March 17, 2008

Ignore, just for the record

16th March 16, 2008

St Kilda Road

Melbourne 3004

Hi Mum and L,

Some sad news, Dame M died this morning, Sunday at about 10am. T finally managed to convince her to go to hospital last week. Thursday was my day off, so I, along with The Boarder took her to Cabrini. She was very weak but still quite lucid and even the odd joke. We had to support her to the car and we put her into a wheel chair once we arrived at the hospital. She tried to give me $50 for petrol money but of course I would not take it.

They took all her details and did some preliminary tests. If the staff knew at that point what was wrong with, they weren’t saying.

The next day she seemed considerably brighter, however her heart was very weak along with damaged lungs and liver. The staff asked her if she wished to be revived if her heart stopped and she said yes.

On Saturday night, just as Sister, The Bone Doctor and Joanna arrived, who we were babysitting, The Boarder called to say that the staff had told him that she would not last the night. I had to start work at 5.20am and so I went to bed once Little Jo left and R went to the hospital until about 1.30am. Brother friends, dyke partner of T, NT Politician and Brighton Antique Dealer were there too. She survived the night, but died, as I mentioned about 10am.

Dame M’s nieces arrived from Queensland on the Saturday evening and they spent the night next to her bed. But R said they weren’t particularly nice people and were giving The Boarder a hard time. Of course he has done everything for Dame M and has been pleading with her to go to hospital for months. He left the hospital about 7am this morning and slept for an hour and was showering and getting changed to go back, but it was too late.

Brighton Antique Dealer was in a taxi almost at the hospital when Dame M died.

Dame M’s sister (who Dame M could not stand) and brother in law from Queensland arrived this morning after she died and then T turned up having flown back early from her own mother’s memorial golf day in Tassie.

All just learnt today that Dame M had cancer of the left lung, which had spread to the heart and the liver and a blood problem as well. The doctors said it would not have made much difference even if she had been in hospital for months. They countered the ‘revive’ request because they were giving her morphine and evidently, they cannot revive when someone is receiving morphine.

The friends all met up at Dame M’s this morning, without the family initially. The subject of the will came up and The Boarder went and found it among her papers. Wicked Brighton Antique Dealer steamed it open. The two nieces get 75% and The Boarder 25%. Her shares go automatically go to her step children. The Boarder probably should have gotten more, but at least there won’t be grounds for the will to be contested since it is not that much, as a percentage of course. His 25% should be a few hundred thousand. He has lived with her for thirty years and deserves it. Dame M had also written him a cheque to buy a new car last week, but foolishly he did not cash it. I don’t know if he still can. Anyway, his share should be enough for him to buy somewhere to live at least. Oddly, Dame M told me roughly what was in her will about a year ago, and it would seem I was the only one who knew.

So, it is an end of era for many of us. The funeral should be before Easter. Her family name is M if you want to check the newspapers for notices. She will be buried in the family crypt at Kew Cemetery.

Sorry this is a bit disjointed, but I want to get it into this evening’s post.

Hope things aren’t too bad with you and you are staying cool in the horrible weather. Bloody Grand Prix has nearly finished, but then there is the Kiss concert which will probably be quite loud too.

Hopefully see you Easter Monday.

Lots of love,

Highriser and R.


  1. So difficult to write a letter when the weather is hot and your emotions along woth the weather are parched.
    It was orchistrated nicely Andrew. Bless Dame M... I do feel so much for the border too :(
    Thoughts are with everyone at this time. I hope the family of Dame M hirriedly return to whence they came and don't cause any trouble.

  2. My condolences, Andrew. She was clearly a remarkable woman. A lovely letter to describe her passing and its aftermath.

  3. The world is all the poorer for having lost Dame M.

  4. I hope he can still cash the check.

  5. For once Daisy Jo, he got his act together and went to the bank first thing Monday and got a special clearance.

  6. Anonymous11:06 pm

    The Boarder can cash the cheque if it is dated prior to her death. It's probably the last thing on his mind at the moment though - very sad....

  7. He got it to the bank first thing Monday and had it especially cleared Anon. Amateur legal advice suggested that it will be fine because of the date and that she wrote a cheque for the gas company after that one.