Thursday, September 20, 2007

Domestic Violence

This post is inspired by Keshi who is wondering what to do. Let me recount one awful night when I was a teen and my mother and us kiddies were staying at our grandparents, my mother's parents, in South Oakleigh.

There was a Hungarian born couple next door and they had two young sons. He was a good bit older than her and very charming and urbane. She was very attractive. They were arguing very loudly. My mother and my grandparents were pacing around the house, occasionally peeking out the windows. I think it was around ten at night. They were all upset by the ruckas. Then came the sound of breaking china and glass. Objects were clearly being thrown.

My mother wanted to call the police. My grandparents discouraged her. It is not our business, don't get involved. We don't want to be bad neighbours with them. My mother did not insist and so the police weren't called. Better that they were.

I can remember with such clarity the words said in almost a stage whisper that carried so well, 'You are so beautiful Helena, I cannot stand it', then a most terrible scream. He had thrown a pot of hot oil over her.

The police arrived soon after. I am not sure if my mother or someone else called them. The victim did have some scarring from the hot oil. They separated and she remained in the house. I do recall that he supported the family financially and used to take the boys out sometimes.

I suppose you don't call the police over raised voices, but there comes a time when it sounds more serious, so let the police know and they can prioritise and decide. They are presumably the experts. Any doubts, call them. There are things you never want on your conscience.


  1. God, Andrew - that's a terrible story! But I agree with what your saying. I don't like to intrude on others privacy, but it is better to have done and regretted, than to never have done it at all.

    Hmm. I'm not making sense. Holiday mush.

    PS: Good to be back reading!

  2. The assault on the woman would have happened whether or not Plod was called.
    If not that night, then another.

    The damage done to small children in the house next-door

    is leaping out at me right now though.

  3. Welcome back Rosanna. Gee that went quickly. Missed your writing.

    Good point about the kids Ann. I can't recall if they were there but I assume they were. They seemed ok as they grew up. Bad for them to go through it too.

  4. OMG, that is just so bloody sad isn't it?

  5. that is such a sad story! I never imagined ppl can be that cruel!

    **'You are so beautiful Helena, I cannot stand it', then a most terrible scream. He had thrown a pot of hot oil over her.


    This makes me wanna take some very quick action regarding my friend's case. TY ANDREW!


  6. Better safe than sorry. In my job, the police and Child Protective Services are called frequently.

  7. Trying to recall how I felt at the time Cazzie. I think I was afraid.

    If she really is a friend Keshi, keep a close eye on it.

    I'm sure Daisy Jo. Guys, blokes, have to realise that any of this sort of stuff in unacceptable and that there are consequences.

  8. she is! I know her entire family.