This idea really amuses me and credit must go to Jane Clifton, comedian, singer, sometimes guest and sometimes presenter on ABC Melbourne radio. I wish someone would do it.
It would be a newspaper of headlines that you can always expect. Here are few examples and I will try to keep it topical.
Boxing day I expect we will rise to a head line, Police say christmas day was quieter than usual.
Charity group has ensured the disadvantaged did not go without for christmas.
Record spending binge on christmas.
New Year's Day, Public transport chaos for new year's eve revellers.
In the little weather square, it will say, Strong wind warnings east of Wilson's Prom (I can't spell the full version of prom).
In business it will say, Despite a 50% fall in real estate prices, agents say there is no slump in the market.
An English paper might say, Government minister caught with pants down.
A USA paper, In these difficult times, this great country will put it's trust in god.
Olympic facilities unlikely to be ready.
That's enough to get you thinking. Add a few of your own.