Friday, December 31, 2004

Highriser wastes mental energy

If you are a reader of my blog, you may by now know that I am gay. It is not a big deal really, unless you want it to be. But of course it defines me and sticks a label on me. But I love labels on people, so no problem.

Sometimes you can be overly sensitive about the biz though. That is looking for hurt where it might not be.

Here is an example where I could have saved me self some angst.

I recently made a comment to a blog I regularly read. It was a sympathetic comment that perhaps would not have come from a straight 40 odd year old male. And of course, when you post, it links back to your blog where in my description of myself it readily mentions that I am gay.

The next comment to the blog was brief (I must learn how to make brief comments to blogs) and concluded, ‘At least you are not homo mate’.

Ouch, this blog is usually quite gay tolerant and the blogger certainly is.

This was this morning. As the day wore on, I thought about it more and more. Effing homophobic c.

Now some history. Early in my net useage, I was in a gay chat room and some guy messaged me and seemed nice enough, but then started getting nasty. Obviously he was a latent homosexual with some issue about it, but no need to lambast me with homophobic comments. I might have a least admired him if he sounded clever, but he sounded very red neck and unoriginal. This was back in the days when all we had to chat with was MIRC. (something Internet Relay Chat, if you are wondering). But MIRC used to tell you an awful lot about chatters, and with the help of a friend, I worked out that he was at an Albury Tertiary College. I contacted them with his details and they investigated and later told me that because of his abuse of his internet facility, his account was suspended for three months.

So I do take homophobia seriously, if it suits me. I was new to net chat, and I did not need that.

So what do I do about this homophobic prick that made the comment today. Well, I trust the blogger guy, and he will make a soothing comment or erase the original comment. If he doesn’t, then I won’t read his blog anymore. It is not true revenge, but self-satisfying.

But although yours truly is often dumb, sometimes he is not and always believes in arming himself with facts and both sides before action or protest. I went back and had another look, hoping that this homophobic guy had his own blog. I could get some savvy internet friends to ‘do something’. I clicked on the link, and hmmm, pic, cute enough looks………………oops. It says he is gay. Owww.

Hating is a wasted emotion, more so when you are wrong.
Can I just add, not sure why he made the comment. Being gay is good. I am pleased to be gay. I will read his blog a bit and see where he is coming from……..tomorrow.


  1. Andrew, this one you speak of is truly a 'unique' character. He is Gay AND Catholic, and is unashamedly right-wing. I can understand why he uses such politically incorrect slang in comments, when you view his expressions in the context of these facts. But I don't for a second believe that usage of such language, or such stereotyping of gay people as being overly emotional or emotionally weak ("well, at least you're not a homo mate!") in the context of that post or otherwise, is justified at all. I know many people of "queer" sexualities across the board, and the trials and difficulties they face on a daily basis make them more emotionally adept than straights.

    Personally, I'd take everything he says with a grain of salt. I find tracking his daily comment voyage around the blogosphere highly entertaining for its ironic value more than anything else.

    PS, are you coming to Melbourne Grogblogging?

  2. Thanks AFE. I had a good look at his blog and I am not saying a thing except it proves gays are as different from each other as the general population and have only one thing in common.

    Blog and grog? Great. I am only 25 mins walk from that bar, but alas, I am working. I am probably a bit too old anyway. :)

  3. Anonymous2:51 pm

    Hi Andrew,

    It's Zsa Zsa Gabor's friend again :-)
    I read your blog every couple of days or so, and find it highly entertaining.
    As a Melbourne gay man of "une certain age" (similar to yours), I can relate to a lot of things you talk about.
    I happened, by unbelieveable chance, to come across the blog you mentioned today. I read what the young man said, and also what was posted in the comments section. I, too, have no time for people who are homophobic. I live my life as a member of society who just incidentally happens to be gay - no big deal, methinks. I didn't find the comments made by that particular person as homophobic - I think he was simply stating that after all the problems that the young man was facing he didn't have to face any more angst from his family for being gay. Teenage years are bloody hard enuf as it is without the added stresses of being gay (closeted or not). To you and me, being gay "is not a big deal", but to a young person facing the world as an adult it can be a difficult time. I know. But I do see where you are coming from - I share the same ideas.
    Keep up with your writing - it is intelligent, witty, and thought provoking.

    fond regards


Democracy is all very well, but why give it to the people? - Audrey Forbes-Hamilton.