Cast your minds back to almost pre COVID when the friendship between us and our Indian Fijian friend broke down. Just to remind you, we were were friends with his late partner for a long time and they were both a huge part of our social life. We knew the IF friend for over twenty years too.
We had a pub dinner with him and then played the gambling machines for a short time and we parted on good terms. We invited him by text for another dinner with a couple of other people not long after and he declined with a very formally worded text reply. A few days later R called him and he didn't answer. R left a nice enough message for him and he never called back. R left another message for him, still no return call. Ok, fine. He doesn't want to know us anymore.
A couple of days later I sent him a text saying while I didn't care about myself, I was very unhappy with him showing such disrespect to R. We've heard nothing from him since until...
Another friend sent out a joke email to us and others included the above said. R should know better but when he replied to the joke email, it went to everyone rather than just the person who sent it. "Love it P. Very funny".
Then an email arrived from guess who. "How are you R?"
Against my advice R replied, "Fine thanks. How are you?"
A reply followed. "so guys what have I done to you guys?", turning the whole matter back on us and as if we had rejected him.
I was in hospital at the time I watched my blood pressure and heart monitor go off the scale as I read the reply.
He never unfriended us on FB and mostly just reposted moody things like When the world is against you, rise above it, and When everyone lets you down, it is not your fault.
Unless I receive some kind of acknowledgement of what he did, even if short of an actual apology I will not have anything to do with him. Over so many years he has treated us badly in many ways. I was his apologist. "It is just him. He is moody. Don't worry. Don't take offence. Don't take it personally", I said to R so many times.
Of course being the bitter old queen I am, I look for motives, and while I can't find one for the original dumping, I note he has a birthday coming up in a couple of weeks and he would normally have us and a number of common friends at his place to celebrate. I suspect he was going to work up to invite us. Our absence will be noted and we have friends and acquaintances in common who know us well enough and if he says we just dumped him cold, he won't be believed. Awkward for him.