Tuesday, December 01, 2020

Hospital Humour

Remember my arm injury from when we installed laundry shelves? While I was in hospital it was still scabbed over, although not now. One nurse asked what happened? I replied, one of your co-workers was very careless when inserting a canula. It was a two second moment of, 'oh f***' before he realised it was an old wound. He grinned widely. My job was done.

My youngish cardiologist who has been published in the New England Journal of Medicine, and with his trainee present explained in great detail about my heart which went over the top of my other important organ, my brain. When he ran out of breath I replied, "So you are saying both the top half of my heart is screwed and the bottom half is screwed too". They laughed and he said, not at all. My job was done.

A nurse was speaking to a fellow patient. "Oh, your blood pressure has gone right down!" Maybe ten seconds later she said, "There you go. It is up again. There is nothing like telling a patient that their blood pressure is low to get it up again". Nurse's job was done.

If I was asked by nurses, I told them I had partner and none batted an eyelid when R turned up to visit me and were all friendly towards R. Only one made assumptions a trainee Kiwi Maori nurse who knew I lived a couple of kilometres from the hospital. He way down the line of command also checked that someone would accompany me home. I assured him my partner would. He replied, it could be a nice walk home through the park for you and your wife. While I didn't see his face, I know he saw R come to collect me and take me home. Lesson learnt perhaps? My job was done.

26 comments:

  1. Humor is good medicine Andrew :)

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  2. Humour is the very best medicine. And yes I do hope that young nurse did indeed learn his lesson.

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    1. EC, we all make wrong assumptions at times. I am not too bothered by it.

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  3. Working in a hospital or elderly care home is so full of grief that something has to keep people going back each day. It seems there are two solutions - booze and humour.

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    1. Black humour at times among medical staff at times I think Hels.

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  4. I can just imagine the millisecond of "holy crap" when you mentioned the canula. It's good of you to make people laugh.
    So which half of your heart is screwed?

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    1. River, neither half really. It is a matter of stopping my heartbeat going out of control.

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  5. Humour keeps the world going round.

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    1. Marie, you have to laugh at times otherwise you would just cry.

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  6. Laughter is the best medicine. Back in 2015, I was transferred from one hospital part of the hospital at about midnight, to another part. The new unit decided to do the normal "intake questions" at about 1:00 AM. I was about half awake, when the nurse got the question, "sexually active?" I responded that I had never been asked that before, the nurse said, "it is here on the list, we usually just default to yes without asking." I replied, "well it is a matter of how you define that?" The nurse laughed and said, "that is okay, and I will can now answer that you are awake and aware."

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  7. Right On - Good On You Brother Man

    Cheers

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  8. I knew you'd have them laughing while there.

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    1. Strayer, I didn't feel much like it at times.

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  9. Job done indeed. You'd think people would know in this day and age not to make assumptions!

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    1. Steve, you would, but I don't mind. Just shows you how macho I am!

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  10. Humor smooths the way.

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  11. Your job is always done when you make me smile late at night Andrew 😉 If you smiled then my job is done 😀

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    1. You always make me smile Grace.

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  12. You seemed to have had some fun in hospital too Andrew :)

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    1. I tried Sami but I can't say I was terribly happy.

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  13. I always had funny happenings in hospital ! Once the big boss came surrounded by students and looked on his sheets and said "this lady has lost her husband" I bursted out in laughter which was not appreciated by the God in white ! I told him that my husband was in his office and working and that he probably mixed up the sheets ! The poor students had difficulties to hold back their laughter and the God in white looked at me with furious eyes ! I called Ric and announced him that he is dead. He thought I was more crazy then usual !

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    1. That's funny Gattina. It is lucky the sheets weren't mixed up for surgery.

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Democracy is all very well, but why give it to the people? - Audrey Forbes-Hamilton.