Monday, February 17, 2020

If ifs and and ands were pots and pans. Single X rated post

A lot of photos yesterday, so perhaps today some writing.

WWW wrote of someone who had died where she lives and wished that perhaps they had a connection. The post made me think about people who I could have connected with but did not. First to mind are the two women we dined, drank and laughed with over a scenic tour lunchtime cruise on The Seine. Why didn't I ask for their email addresses? Worse, I thought at the time, what is the point. Did I even go negative and refused to give them our eddress? I can't remember.

Then something more personal came to my mind. To protect his identity, I will call him Seth. Ah, that is a fail. His name is Seth. We worked together for a number of years. I recently discovered media celebrity Richard Wilkins' son Christian. Seth wasn't as pretty as Christian but of a similar build and with similar long hair.


If Seth was a child of 2000s he would be heavily tattooed and pierced. His body adornments were only severe burn scars on one arm as a result of a fire in a drug house where he had passed out. Seth could talk (crap at times) and I was enthralled at hearing of his bad boy adventures at such a young age. I really liked him as a person. He was actually a good guy and good at his job.

At a workmate's birthday dinner at a pub in perhaps the mid or late nineties Seth and I were chatting. He must have known I was gay as at work I sat at the tables where gay men congregated, along with their hangers on, Seth being one of them along with the old female aunties who pretended faux shock and found the company of wicked frankly speaking gay men far more interesting than the company of straight men. (So Joycey, how many ccks have you sat on in your life?  Her reply was a beer and a cigarette are better. She was the one who deliberately spilt hot soup over the rude US General MaCarthur during WWII at Victoria Barracks).

Seth was leaving work, about to be retrenched shortly after the birthday gathering. It was the beer wot dun it. I told him I would miss him, that I really liked him and that he was so so sexy. He reeled backwards. Fck, what have I done now, big mouth. He moved back towards me, pulled me into him and we kissed passionately for a long time. We didn't grope each other as would normally happen between two gay men, we just kissed. He asked, why haven't you ever told me that you liked me and wanted me? 

That would be because I didn't know he was gay or he would go with a man and I was in a relationship and I had little to offer apart from a half an hour or so of fun.

Maybe six years later I ran into him on a tram. He really hadn't changed and we had a warm conversation. Great to see you again were our parting words.

Of regrets I have a few but not following up on Seth before the days of mobile phones might be one of them.

35 comments:

  1. How nice that you enjoyed meeting up again six years later. And yes, a sigh that neither of you ever followed through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EC, maybe for the best. It is a nice memory.

      Delete
  2. But then there were the two women we bonded with on our France trip who took my email address and I have never heard from them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jackie, that goes against my theory that you don't exchange phone numbers or email addresses. Just one person gives over theirs and the onus is on them. Still, strange how that happens.

      Delete
  3. I got a bit turned on reading about you and Seth.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sometimes it's best to think what could have been.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Having been hurt a great deal in life by the opposite sex, I have simply sworn off.
    My only regret in life was breaking it off with one of my first more serious boyfriends to go with my first husband.
    Had I stayed with Larry, my life would have been very different.
    But then I would not have my daughter or grandchildren, and I would not trade them for anything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maribeth, but you don't know what life with Larry would have been. Have you looked him up online?

      Delete
    2. Yes, Andrew. Not only did I look him up but over the years we saw each other at Class Reunions. He stayed as sweet and kind as he was so long ago. Quite sadly a month after my friend Candy died last year, Larry also died from cancer. The two deaths affected me more than I realized at the time.
      It's been a year and I feel I have recovered. Life is good and life goes on.

      Delete
  6. I think we all wonder about that person we only less then three time and why we didn't keep on contact.
    I recall my parents talking about there old chums and such and was going to visit some of them. I don't think they never did.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dora, we are becoming a bit like that, planning to meet up with people but not following through.

      Delete
  7. Re Seth - this sort of thing has always been a difficulty for gay people, even if possibly less so now. It was compounded for me in my youth by my own irresolution about my own sexuality. Then add in if the other party has the same problem!

    I recently threw out a little letter from a young man I met on a trip to Melbourne in 1979. I had a crush on him: we went to the Botanical Gardens together. If that's not romantic, what is? I was too shy to take it further. Maybe he was too. The letter invited me to come to stay if I ever came back to Melbourne. Amazingly I was still too unconfident about such matters to have any idea that my feelings might have been reciprocated - which, in hindsight, I think they probably were.

    I'm now sorry I threw the letter out but I googled and could not find any trace of him, and of course the moment is long past anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marcellous, that is such a sweet and innocent tale. Sad about throwing the letter away. Yes, wisdom with hindsight. 1979 was the year I met R.

      Delete
  8. I only let one get away, and, oddly, we are still very much in love; she even bought a house very nearby here. Having said that I have no regrets at all, with three lovely children, and six fabulous grandsons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cro, not someone you may have mentioned a few times who I may know of?

      Delete
    2. No.This is a first.

      Delete
  9. Well, look him up on facebook maybe now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Strayer, you made me think. I think I know his last name, but does it end with an n or e. I remember where to check.

      Delete
  10. Spilled hot soup on a famous but rude General? Brave move *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hels, she was very working class and did not take crap from anyone. She and her husband were invited and attended a huge Labor Party anniversary bash in Canberra in the 80s, I think.

      Delete
  11. I've never worked in a place where there were enough gay men for there to be a congregation of them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. River, while I think there would have been gay male workers in your last workplace, maybe not enough.

      Delete
  12. Oh my, that's life.
    I didn't let anyone get away - I'm lucky I guess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do tell Margaret. Wasn't there someone else at all?

      Delete
  13. We regret more what we didn't do, than what we did.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Travel, that is probably true.

      Delete
  14. It's a bit like fishing...angling...many get away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lee, as you wistfully watch a flick of their tails and disappear.

      Delete
  15. What a nice memory to have, Andrew.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is Jenny, and I am pleased I found a photo of him in a work publication I had scanned a few years ago.

      Delete
  16. I never had a man as a friend, sooner or later they all wanted more then friendship. The only once who could become friends were gay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The meriguing maker wasn't chasing after you? Friends? Male or female? What are they? I've never had a personal friend. I expect the fault is mine.

      Delete
  17. Life is full of what ifs Andrew, what if instead of marrying P, a drummer in a jazz band when we met, I'd married the gorgeous English guy with lot's of money, big house and flash car way back then.. nah! Haven't thought about it at all 😊

    ReplyDelete