Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Recommended

Today, the 10th, is World Suicide Prevention Day, and we in Victoria have had the sad case of a high profile former sportsman who took his own life. He is not the first high profile person who has done so and won't be the last.

I recommend you read EC's post https://myjustsostory.blogspot.com/2019/09/out-of-shadows-2019.html and admire her for her effort this morning, I think almost as moving at a war remembrance ceremony.

Many of us have been touched distantly or closely by suicide. My own ABI Brother received his Acquired Brain Injury by a suicide attempt. He has no memory of the attempt and thanks to our public health system that dealt with the short term aftermath (not so short) and his subsequent rehabilitation (long) by our compulsory car accident insurance system, he is perhaps 80 to 90% ok, mentally and physically. He was so badly injured that the whole family was called to the hospital to say our goodbyes. It would be twenty years ago now, or more.

In my opinion, right or wrong, bloggers aren't people who at risk of suicide but do watch friends and family. At time there are signs, but at times there are none, so don't feel guilty if you didn't pick up the signs that may or may not have been there.

28 comments:

  1. Thank you Andrew. I am glad that your brother survived, against all the odds. Sadly I will disagree with you about bloggers. One I followed has made several attempts and after a traumatic life event has disappeared. Which leaves me worrying.
    Many people do indeed become very skilled at disguising just how bad they are feeling - until it is too late.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EC, I knew that you would respond thus. Perhaps bloggers are not quite on the high pedestal we think we are at times. In my brother's case, there was absolutely no indication, aside from a doctor saying subsequently that it wasn't a good idea to give up drinking and smoking at the same time.

      Delete
  2. I have only recently discovered that a cousin of mine committed suicide..... 20 years ago. I'd had no idea he was dead, or how it occurred, or why. I was very shocked.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So awful Cro, and you wonder why.

      Delete
  3. Our Dr Spo describes suicide as a "permanent answer, to a temporary problem." Everyone needs someone they trust to talk to, we all need to be reassured that it will all be okay, we are all valued, we are all loved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too true Travel. Did you read EC's post? Her volunteer job is to delay the suicide thought process and make them see options.

      Delete
  4. I'll go over and read EC's post too. We've had a few patients at the clinic where I work commit suicide, and according to their families some of them didn't even show signs of depression. Glad your brother got the medical care and family love to help with his recovery.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sami, that's interesting and it must be sad moments for you and your colleagues when you find out.

      Delete
  5. My second cousin's husband committed suicide. I didn't really know him at all, but the few times we met, he seemed...non-suicidal enough. Unlike me, a member of the LGBTQ+ community, he didn't fall into any of the high-risk groups, had a loving family, and, as he was only in his 30s, had, from my more-than-half-century-on-this-earth perspective, a whole lot of years to fix any mistakes, but even that's not a guarantee against depression or hopelessness, even misplaced hopelessness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kirk, with some people it comes as no surprise but others you really ask yourself why. Such is mental illness.

      Delete
  6. I lost 9 friends to suicide, when I was in the mental system. All were in that system, and found it too depressing to exist in any longer. Instead of ending up dead myself, I left the system, which basically warehouses people alone in tiny hotel like rooms, with nothing to do, and over drugs them. Anyhow.....onward.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gosh Strayer, that is a lot and clearly the care is wrong.

      Delete
  7. Beautiful post - I have lost many to suicide as I am in recovery. Too often it is a solution for the population I hang out with...I love this post!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Not all Bloggers are not committing suicides in my 10 years blogging experience I had two, (the parents or siblings closed the blog) and a few temptations or rather calling for help. I think it takes a lot of courage to kill yourself !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gattina, it seems I was totally wrong about bloggers being immune. I would not be brave enough to do it, but then I don't know how people feel.

      Delete
  9. I experienced a time in my life when I thought suicide was my only answer. After all, what does a mother do when they survive a car accident and their beloved 6 year old dies?
    The mental health care system was terrible, no one helped. I was either very manic or so drugged I could hardly speak.
    Thankfully, I met a doctor in 1996 and he started me on a medication which helped me to feel normal and then I began intensive talk therapy. All these years later I am doing well and so happy I am here to enjoy my firstborn daughter's children!
    I have seen what my friends have gone through when their twenty something kids commit suicide. I am so glad I never did that to my family.
    Life is good! One needs to keep searching for the happiness!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maribeth, I am pleased you got past that bad period. Some don't and become living dead.

      Delete
  10. I've known a few bloggers who committed suicides. Male. Terribly sad. Some have disappeared off blogland and I wonder, their blogs neglected, wandering eternally in the ether.

    There have been 3 suicides here in the past week. Young men. Heartbreaking. I remember an older male blogger, so smart and political, now that I reflect, and for the life of me his name is gone and I am driving myself mad trying to remember it. Mike something. Gunshot to the head.

    Sorry, I'm gone dark on you. And so very sorry about your brother, but good he survived.

    XO
    WWW

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WWW, what can I say? I was so wrong about bloggers. I think, must check, that I have written down instructions for R to announce my death on my blog and close it to comments.

      Often here male suicides are about sexuality, as it was for R's brother in England who did suicide. Two school friends of mine too.

      This person just died and none of us were prepared for it, http://crankybar.blogspot.com She was wonderful and at least her daughter let her readers know. She was dear to me but I cannot remember her name.

      Delete
    2. Jacqueline Mitchell. I still miss her.

      Delete
    3. EC, of course it was and while her name slipped my mind, she never has.

      Delete
  11. I have only secondhand knowledge of people who have suicided, no one in my immediate family ever has or even tried, which is a great relief to me. My ex-the second has had tendencies that way in the past, but he seems much more stable now.
    I'm very sorry for families who go through this and sorry also for those who thought there was no other way, no help to be had. I greatly admire Elephant's Child for the work she does at Lifeline.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. River, yes EC has our respect. We all have our bad days, you and me, but, to lighten the moment, we are probably too lazy to do it.

      Delete
  12. Too often, sadly, the signs are not recognised.

    It is great more attention is being given to this major problem...one way or the other it touches us all.

    Reach out...touch somebody...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Huge problem Lee and always has been.

      Delete
  13. Until this year, even people who were acutely aware of suicide probably didn't think of it as a special problem facing top class sports people. Men typically do not like to admit to needing professional support for their mental health issues, but brawny male sportsmen seem to be even more silent about their depression and suicidal thoughts.

    The Frawleys will be grieving for ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hels, to use a pun, they seem to kick higher goals in suicide stats than the average population, but then so do artistic types and stage/tv performers.

      Delete