Thursday, June 20, 2019

Annoying partner habits

R says he does not read my blog as his memory of things does not match mine and his view of things is different. I wish I had never told him that I have one as I am not sure if he is being truthful, but I think he is.

Annoying partner habits... He coughs too loudly when in the car to to the point where it nearly deafens me. I did mention it once to him and it became quieter, but has now reverted to being too loud but I can cope as he doesn't cough too much.

In conversations with people he repeats himself, to make a point I suppose, and he cares little about accuracy or correct names etc. He is outgoing and gregarious and I am not. My contact with my family, aside from Sister because R barely tolerates her, is mostly via R.

What annoys me the most, and I think it comes from early internalised childhood homophobia, is that he is not a gentle person with things. He shuts doors loudly, he slings his seatbelt off and it crashes into the interior of the car. He forces our apartment door to close against the self closing mechanism. He may make a beautiful dish for a party, with his excellent intuitive cooking skills, and with exquisite presentation, yet he will fling it down on a table to the point where it could be spoilt. Just something I made, he will say. You can't be gay if you are so butch and rough with things.

I am used to all these things and no big deal. But what I am not used to is him half singing, la la la lah. Dah dah dah dah. A single line from a song, half sung  with some words wrong and repeated endlessly. It began recently and I don't know why. It's driving me mad. I know it will be hurtful (think WWIII) if I say to him can you stop doing that, and now as therapeutic to me is writing, I have come up with a solution that focuses on the positive, as R always tells me I should do. Come on hon. Don't half sing, belt it out. I would not mind that at all.

Of course it goes without saying that I am absolutely perfect and I have no annoying habits at all.

If your husband/partner does not read or know of your blog, do tell me what are their annoying habits.

54 comments:

  1. St Vitus dance with the television remote control drives me (more) batshit crazy. And having the television on all the time.
    Now you have me wondering what my partner (who is not a communicator) finds MOST irritating about me. A long list I suspect.

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    1. EC, the tv stuff would drive me crazy too. I think the list of your annoying habits would not be too long.

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  2. Putting things off. Of course, I never do that. Cough. Cough. Hack. Hack.

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    1. Sandra, the older you get the more days you have to do it tomorrow.

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    2. Isn't that the truth. Heh.

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  3. Jack occasionally reads my blog. He used to read it every day and correct my grammar and spelling, or try to change how I presented my opinions. I finally told him to stop!
    Jack is very hard. He can be a bull in a china shop. He does tend to go on and on about a lot of things I could care less about.
    I don't write about him at all on my blog.
    And as I have openly admitted, I am no day in the park myself. I am sure I drive him positively insane.

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    1. Maribeth, Jack doesn't sound so bad, but correcting your grammar and spelling is wrong unless you ask. We tune out when we are not interested in what our partners are banging on about.

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  4. I can't complain about others annoying habits as I have far too many of my own, also I don't live with a partner. I do live with my cat who has the annoying habit of running across my keyboard on her way to the windowsill.

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    1. River, without anyone to annoy, how can you have annoying habits? I wish I had a cat to explain my typos.

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  5. My beloved has no problems with cleanliness (he is a doctor, after all), but he doesn't know the meaning of organisation and tidiness. His study is a mess (which is not my business) and he leaves washed dishes in the sink; he leaves his mail, journals and newspapers piled up on the table; he doesn't put his clothes away in the cupboard etc etc.

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    1. Hels, but I bet he knows where everything is in his study. Chuck his mail and papers into his study, and if you get really annoyed, chuck the dirty dishes in the sink in there too.

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  6. Both my, and my wife's, bad habits are too numerous to mention. We live in semi chaos, with dog toys, books, clothes, rubbish, and paintings, all over the place. I don't suppose we will change.

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    1. Cro, while it would not work for us, if you are comfortable with it, then no problem. You are not game to mention your wife's bad habits. I take it she reads your blog.

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    2. And she owns a very large Rolling Pin.

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  7. As long as you are both comfortable in the mess :)

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  8. You haven't got too many bad habits of R's to tell us.
    My husband doesn't read my blog, not at all interested.
    He too tidy a Virgo trait. Remote, he keeps changing the channel now I sit in my room and he can do so.
    He has heaps of good points though.

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    1. Probably not Margaret, but the half singing comes and goes but when it happens, I hate it.

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  9. Hello Andrew, just popped in to see what 'secrets' everyone else divulged. I can't complain too much about The Golfer (he has to put up with me) but he does have this annoying habit of snoring. I might have mentioned it in passing on the blog :) - not getting any better either but won't entertain the idea of a sleep clinic appt and the possibility of one of those masks. Probably scared stiff I might try to cut off his air supply or strangle him with one of the tubes. Actually he's a good sort - has to put up with my annoying habits so I can't say anymore can I??

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    1. Cathy, The Golfer can't help snoring but he can do something about it. I don't know how you can bear it. I feel so let down to learn that you have bad habits.

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  10. I thought you were writing about John!!! He coughs too loud also, hurts my ears. Along with talking and laughing too loud.
    Too opinionated. Also repeats himself, and always exaggerates the numbers i.e. $10 becomes $20!!
    He knows about you from your comments and what I mention, but don't believe he comes over here to read.

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    1. Forgot to mention, I have no bad/annoying habits!!

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    2. Jackie, yet you love him dearly. Of course you don't have bad habits. Blog writers generally don't.

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  11. He really only has the one. Our cats each get 15g of human tuna each morning, so the tin lasts a fair few days but whenever he opens a new one and empties the contents into a container for the fridge, he fills the tin with water and leaves it in the sink.

    I'm a rinse things off right away and put them in the recycling kind of person.

    BUT OH he drives me crazy with the buying of clothes. He is so specific about what he will and will not wear, and he won't buy new things until the old things have holes in them. We went up to Sydney today to try and find him some new shirts and left with nothing, we had to stop in at Wollongong on the way home where we did have a tiny success.

    He thought Bonds might have paid for advertising on Google Maps because in both places it kept trying to send us there. I suggested instead to The Other Half that perhaps his present disintegrating pairs of underwear were sending an SOS back to the mother ship, which is why google maps kept trying to get him to go there. :)

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    1. I would do as you do Snoskred, except I fill my cereal bowl with water and leave it in the sink as I don't want to be crashing around with the dishwasher and waking anybody.

      I am sure Google is listening to our conversations now. You have no sooner discussed something and up comes advertising for the same product. Funny about the SOS. Most men aren't so fussy about their clothes. It's not necessarily a bad thing but going holey is not so good.

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    2. So right after I wrote this comment I mentioned it to The Other Half, and I asked him what my annoying habit was. I am shocked to find out that I often put the toilet paper on the holder the wrong way.

      I did not even know this was a thing, so much so that I never pay attention to how I do it, which means some of the time I get it right just by random. :)

      So I want to say thank you for this post, because now I can make sure to do it the right way AND The Other Half is not leaving the tuna tins in the sink anymore. ;) Epic win!

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    3. Snoskred, that is a serious win in that you say there is a right way and a wrong way, not just a different way and you admit you are wrong. It is a terrible sin in my opinion.

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  12. P chews ice cream... 'nuff said 😱

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    1. Grace, I have to think about that. No, I guess it kind of melts in your mouth and you swallow.

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  13. My tolerance level is so effin low that I have spared many men serious injury by not mating to the level of extended domicile share, coz like you, I am perfect in every way.

    XO
    WWW

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    1. WWW and the older we get the more perfect we get, I think.

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  14. "What annoys me the most, and I think it comes from early internalised childhood homophobia, is that he is not a gentle person with things."

    Me and R would probably get along swimmingly. It's probably even worse in my case thanks to years of blue-collar work. I wish I wasn't like that but I am.

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    1. I'm wondering what kind of work you did because I was a blue collar worker--as was my father--so I really don't see the connection, it being very important to not slam things around if they might be damaged or damage other things.

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    2. Kirk, crash bang. I can hear it now. My Tradie Brother is a gentle tradesman.

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    3. Snowbrush, I took Andrews essay to mean that R was, perhaps unconsciously, afraid of appearing effeminate ("internalised childhood homophobia"), and so compensates by being a bit more brutish than he needs to be. In a blue-collar workplace--factory, machine shop, foundery, warehouse, construction site, etc.--the pressure not to appear anyway soft can be intense, and the avoidance of appearing so can become instinctive, even if you leave the workplace and go to a venue where softness doesn't matter as much. Thus, you may come across as "butch" without particularly meaning to. Obviously, there are blue-collar tasks where you have to be gentle. I was talking more about the all-around attitude. Also, I should add that I'm talking about American blue-collar mores. It may be different elsewhere.

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    4. Kirk, I hadn't considered the possible pressure to avoid appearing effeminate, and I wonder if Andrew would agree that this is the case. I too am an American, by the way, and while I've done a fair amount of remodeling and building maintenance, I was rarely on a crew, but when I was, I found it a congenial atmosphere free of any need to act other than ordinary. What you describe is more what I think about as being the case in prison where one can never let his guard down, or think of another as a true friend.

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    5. Snowy, Kirk had it right, as you do too about never letting your guard down. Not all of us want to battle or have the strength for gay rights and acceptance in workplaces. It can be easier to stick with the status quo and not rock the boat.

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  15. I've become guilty of the half-singing (I also half-hum), and to make it worse, I tend to repeat the same few notes. I know that, in my case, it's a response to stress caused by daily narcotic withdrawal, as are the advent of tics. Peggy doesn't have truly annoying habits (as does Ray--using things harshly and slamming them around would drive me right up the wall). She does often put kitchen utensils in the wrong drawer (which worries me because I assume it is an early symptom of dementia), and she puts dishes to be washed in the "wrong" side of the sink, so I have to move them to wash my hand or brush my teeth (she does her hands and teeth with the dishes there). She also parks the car in the garage and leave the doors locked, which I often discover when my hands are full of things to put in the car. It's pretty much a waste of time to ask her to not do these things, and most things, I don't ask her about because I don't want her to feel uncomfortable in her home.

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    1. Snowbrush said: P.S. I like it that you write about R. Most people ignore writing about their spouses completely, and I always wonder what kind of a blog is is when you write about everything BUT the very person who is, presumably, the most important in your life. Of course, I'm sure there are partners who don't want to be written about, but if Peggy were that way, it would be a major problem for me. In fact, I couldn't honor such a request because our life is my life, and while I very much care about her privacy, and would never intentionally show her disrespect, my blog is going to be what I need it to be.

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    2. Snowy, I too wondered if he started doing this because of stress but I couldn't see any other sign of it or reason. They are minor things that annoy us really. If they were major, we would not be together.

      R is a wonderful person in so many ways and I have never shied from saying that. He is kind, generous, outgoing, charming and just a good person to know. PS, had to slightly edit your comment to remove his name. I know this happens accidently I when you have personal communication use people's names.

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    3. I hadn't even realized that you didn't use his name!

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  16. My hubby does not understand English and he is too lazy to do it.

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    1. Gosia, lucky he has you to help him understand anything he needs to know. I suppose all younger Polish people now know English.

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  17. Mr.G doesn't read my blogs no interest. What drives me mad is that he always forgets to put on his hearing aids and I have to shout. My son reads my blog every day but doesnt know that I know !

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    1. Gattina, at least his has hearing aids. Somebody I know needs them and doesn't have them. Haha, interesting about your son.

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  18. Jose reads my blog when he has the time (maybe every 6 months, lol) and his annoying habit is that he is a massive procrastinator! My annoying habit (to him) is that I use the toothpaste from the top and don't compress the bottom so it goes up, lol. Nothing major I always tell him.

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    1. Sami, your behaviour with the toothpaste tube is unforgivable. Get it together girlfriend before your marriage is absolutely ruined.

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    2. lol, I will do my best Andrew.

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    3. If how one squeezes toothpaste is "nothing major," why not just squeeze it from the bottom since it mattered enough to Jose that he complained? Would not letting him have his way about this make him feel loved and more likely to acquiesce to you in some other circumstance? Could you not look up doing it as a gift?

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  19. Not sure if my partners read my blog. I doubt he reads very often. Never said un-true statement about him and have nothing to hide.
    Coffee is on

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    1. Dora, yes I think you have been critical of Murph at times, so you are out there and honest.

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  20. I am easily bothered so I think most of the things my husband does are my problem, not his :) Six months ago I would have said his smoking was the biggest thing, but he's now quit (which I'm very happy about) and the rest of the stuff that bothers me is not major.

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    1. Jenny, yes, we must tolerate the small things that annoy us. Well done to your husband for giving up the cigs. Is he now lavishing the money saved on you?

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    2. lol! no :) We have lots of places where it has to go before any lavishing happens!

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