Thursday, August 16, 2018

Family stuffs

Some comfort was given to Hippie Niece when one of the hospital staff told her, you have one of the worst cases of postnatal depression we have ever seen. Hey Uncle Andrew and Uncle R, at least I achieve at something. Her mother and step father had to pick up the pieces and become carers for her twin babies. So many of the family helped, included R a few times.

She separated from her partner, who none of us really liked but we were always perfectly nice to him, and moved back to her mother's home. A cold medication interfered with her psychiatric drugs and she had a terrible meltdown,  a psychotic episode, and ended up back in hospital.

It was rather impromptu, just a mention by R that the babies (at 17 months old, not the girls as everyone refers to them as) are growing so quickly and we had not seen them for a while. I arranged it and we journeyed down to the Mornington Peninsula last Sunday and arrived just as her former partner was dropping the babies off after a couple of nights of custody visits. He had bought them brand new really nice shoes and flannies*.  But when he dropped them off at midday, they were sound asleep in his car as they had missed their morning nap, and so they were initially a bit grumpy. We had a little time with Hippie Niece and the babies before her mother (Ex Sis in Law) and step father arrived home. The babies were excited to see them. Then Tradie Brother (Ex Sis in Law's former husband) arrived after surveying tree damage at Mother's and Sister who had been up for sport, a social engagement and a visit to Mother arrived as well.

We, Sister, Oldest Niece, the babies and Ex Sis in Law went for lunch to the local sports club and had a really nice meal in nice surroundings. It was a couple of hours driving for the day, but a really nice day. Oldest Niece was back to her old self, bright, bubbly, gabbling away, talking too loudly, being embarrassingly frank.

Ok, I found this so amusing. Before she went to Europe a couple of years ago, Hippie Niece met up with a guy via a dating app. She told him that as he had custody of his two young children, separated from his partner, he came with too much baggage. They have connected again via a dating app and now who has the more baggage? But then came the clincher. I met him firstly when we were teens and he was so nice and considerate and reluctant to have sex on a first meeting, but all I wanted to do was jump his bones, so we did have sex when we were teens.

What could Uncle Andrew say to that? Ever so not tactfully I said, so he is a known product then. He had just stood her up for a date, with the inexcusable reason that his mother was dying in hospital, or something like that. It is hard to think of Hippie Niece having sex when she was a teen, about 16 I think. People of my age and my generation are caught between two worlds at times. By the age of 16 I was hunting for sex and ready to go off like a cracker and I do understand and remember what the drive is like. But my teenage niece? No no. Maybe by the age of 20 when you are in love with someone. I am a stupid old man but at least I don't say, once you are married. I am sexism personified in a way. It is all very well for young straight and gay male teens to hunt for sex, but not for young teenage females.

Having said that, I mentally collapsed once home as I read the latest email from Mother's neighbour about fences and falling trees. Tired as I was, I could not get to sleep and once I did, I was awake by 4am, not having to get up for work until 6am.

*Flannies, flannelette shirts such as a bogan/chav/redneck might wear. Or a tree cutter or lumberjack, or my Tradie Brother.

27 comments:

  1. Ah, I thought the flannies were flannelette pyjamas. I have several flannies myself. The ex buys them at cheap as chips, decides he doesn't like the colour and gives them to me. I don't like the colours either but they come in handy when the air gets a bit chilly to just pull one on over the t-shirt.
    Nice to hear the twins are doing well and hippie niece is getting the help she needs. I hope the post natal depression eventually does go away for her. Surely it doesn't last forever?

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    1. River, I believe the post natal has gone now and she is back to her old self. But she is a little mentally frail and has been since she was a teen. The babies are gorgeous. Who said your ex never gave you anything!

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  2. Glad the twins are doing well. I hope their mother can get regulated on medication and begin to feel better. Post Natal Depression can be terribly debilitating. How sad she is missing out on the wonderful early months of her children's lives.

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    1. Maribeth, her medication seems good now and she is on an even keel. Yes, she did miss out, but I am not sure she wanted to be with them. I think she will do better and as they age.

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  3. Glad you could help your niece. There family aren't willing to help.
    Your a sweet heart and bless you.
    Coffee is on

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    1. Dora, many people have helped her and gotten her through it all.

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  4. You have a complicated family set-up as far as I can see. I lost track of the relatives near and far, in and out laws. But it also sounds as if you are one big happy, if crazy, family where everybody has a niche.

    OOOO, sex only for 20yr old females? Oooo, I am surprised that no female has shot you down in flames yet.

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    1. Friko, relatively happy. Yes, I am sure a few will take a pot shot at me over that.

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  5. No sex, it's no hunting for sex. We just stood around and waited for you sex crazed teens to swarm. I swear Andrew if a floating gum leaf had landed on you, you'd have been up that tree in a flash.

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    1. Like moths to a flame, Jah Teh. Too old for tree climbing now and many other things besides.

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  6. I feel very sorry for your hippie niece, suffering like that must be so frustrating after having waited nine months to meet your new babies.

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    1. Yes Cro, at times we felt utterly helpless and stepped back to let the professionals work their magic, and they did.

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  7. I am really, really pleased that Hippie Niece is while fragile much better. Wonderful news.
    And yes, I was sexually active at 16 too. With the benefit of hindsight it wasn't good sex, but it did (fortunately) get a great deal better.

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    1. Strange that I have that attitude EC. I think it is more that she is family that what I really think.

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    2. I can understand that. I have been guilty of similar things.

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  8. I wish your niece all the best...it is a very difficult time she is going through and has gone through...but seemingly there is a light the end of the tunnel...and it is growing brighter by the day.

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    1. Lee, it really does seem like she is ok. She turned up unexpectedly at Mother's today with the babies to go for lunch with R and Mother, as R and Mother do every Thursday.

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  9. Glad you niece is feeling better even though she broke up with her partner. Hopefully that's what she needed.

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    1. Oh yes Sami. It is so good that she left that bloke but given the girls are latte coffee coloured, I am pleased that her ex takes care of them at times and they will know their ethnic history.

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  10. That's pretty sexist, fella!

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    1. As I admitted myself.

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  11. I must be a bogan poof then Andrew. Have worn flannies all my life. Dress for comfort not to impress is my motto, giving my partne much angst.
    Good to hear your niece is on the mend.

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    1. Allan, we need a better name for a bogan poof. Yes, I remember who disapproving my partner could be about what I wore when I was younger, but it wasn't about a flannie. Thanks.

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  12. Good heavens! There's one thing for sure Andrew, your extended family life cannot in any way be described as boring.. colourful and interesting more like! Love it✨

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    1. Grace, yet I like boring and mundane. Anything for the sake of peace.

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  13. It's too bad you gave that neighbor your email. Tell her you have cancer and to not bother you right now. Would that work? I've used that and worse to get away from annoying demanding people.

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    1. Strayer, my brother gave her my phone number. She only called once. I much prefer email to talking on the phone. Not a bad idea to plead illness.

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