Well, Mother after her hospital stay came out increasingly frail. I expect that is why they wanted her to do physical therapy while she was there. She mostly refused and only went twice. She went back to ABI Brother's home and she concedes herself that she needs to sell her home. She is back to getting meals on wheels, at a cost. She doesn't like ABI Brother's cooking. This Tuesday I took Mother out for lunch at McDonalds and then to the doctor's. The doctor has to call Canberra to be able to prescribe her strong pain killing medication and while she wants four tablets a day, he will only give her three a day. I am afraid for my mother because she can barely walk, barely managing with a walking frame and a walking stick. She only tells us what she wants us to know, but as I see it, her in home care support is pretty hopeless.
After the doctor visit, she asked if I could drive her to the masseur where she had an appointment booked on Thursday, when R would take her. Can't you telephone them? No, they don't answer. They are busy massaging. She tried to change the appointment to later, to her suit her, but I chipped in with 1pm would suit R best. That should have taken a minute, but she buttered up the staff for five minutes with tales of when her late partner used to attend the practice in a different location, and how wonderful they were, and his masseur sent flowers for his funeral. She went on to ask if the massage would be gentle, and of course they reassured her it would be. She said to me, don't bother with getting my walking frame out. I will use my walking stick. She went up the four stairs, with me behind her to catch her if she fell. When we left, I said to her, use the ramp. What ramp she said? She never looks for the best ways to do things.
Lordy, she did not mention her bowels once today. A miracle. ABI Brother's place is not set up for an old person.There aren't support handles in the shower. She doesn't have her emergency alarm. She is waxing and waning between going home and whatever other option there may be. While it is not easy for any of us to see her like this, it can't be easy for her either. She must know she is transitioning to an aged care place.
Hippy Niece with her father, Tradie Brother. and the twins headed north to Step Mother's near Echuca for a weekend. They had a good time. Tradie Brother posted a photo of the coloured twins crawling over Father's grave in Nathalia. What fun. All I heard was that Step Mother said the twins were very noisy. Step Mother, in spite of having two children, is not really a mothering kind of person. Give her a dog or cat, then she is just brilliant. Lordy, babies cry. Who would have thunk that.
Oldest Niece had still not send us a thank you note/sms for the hundreds of dollars we gave her for he engagement/30th birthday, just to equalise to her siblings and how we have bailed them out in the past. She did host us for a nice lunch though, with other family. It was fun day, but her new lounge suite and dining suite had not arrived. And she has bought a new Jeep. Money runs through her fingers like water. Which is fine as long as the money is coming in. I expect it always will for her. Like Ex Sis in Law, her mother, she is not work shy and her partner seems to earn well.
ABI Brother, acquired brain injury, knows how to work the system quite well, and received an $100,000 payout from Work Cover for his bad back, which is bad. After solicitor costs, he gets $80,000. He sent two bunches of flowers to the respective female staff at the law firm, who he thought were very kind and caring. One called and spoke to Mother to thank him for the flowers. Whether his back problem was caused by work or his terrible accident, who knows. WorkCover pays for one hour of house work each week and one hour of gardening. Mother tries to play queen of the manor and order the cleaner and gardener around, but they take little notice but are also so kind to Mother too.
Since I wrote the above a couple of days ago, ABI Brother was called into the office and told he was no longer needed at work. His work place has been quite good to him over the years, and to R and myself, this came as no surprise. He was taking a day off a week and costing the company money. He could not really do the job very efficiently that he had recently been allocated. Maybe he will get some redundancy money. Mother, according to R, is nagging him endlessly. Like my father did, and her children do, Mother's nagging kind of disappears into a dead space. It is only the non blood relatives that really hear it. ABI's gardener and house cleaner are no more.
Sister cancelled their booked stay at our place (which thankfully shut up R moaning about Sister staying), and instead they just visited us for lunch for Little Jo's 11th birthday. Sister and Little Jo went on to play bowls with the Rainbow Family organisation. We had a very nice lunch at Sandbar in Middle Park and played the card game, Exploding Kittens, which was our gift to Little Jo for her birthday. $30 dollars plus postage for about forty printed playing cards? It is a good game though. It was played fairly, and Little Jo won. I thought I was in a prime position with a cancelling exploding cat card and a card to negate Little Jo's cancelling exploding cat card. She was the only one who had played it before.
I think Tradie Brother went through a depressive period when, only reading between the lines, was sacked from his old job for being so hungover when he turned up at work. He has never spoken honestly to anyone about it, but we read between the lines. He ran out of money, and borrowed $2000 from ABI Brother. Then he could not remember that he had only paid back $1,000, not the $2,000. Such stuff is uncomfortable for families, and I sided with ABI Brother as he keeps records, and he was right. The money was repaid.
But after some time, Tradie Brother found a new well paid job, and he still is getting income from his tenant in the granny flat and his boarder. So, maybe it is time for me to remind him that he owes me $500 of Mother's accumulated costs, that is her health insurance and admittance to hospital cost. Her health fund is good and paid for everything else aside from the $300 admittance fee. He is much happier now he is back at work.
Nephew and his wife are doing fine in their seaside surfing country town and they have a new dog. We are yet to visit.
Mother is our prime focus at the moment, yet we have no control over her. She will do what she will do. Frail as she is, her mind is as sharp as a manipulative tack.