Monday, February 26, 2018

Lack of gratitude

Our friend is still in hospital with diabetes related problems. He has suffered from non healing nasty sores on his legs, a skin graft, golden staph, sepsis of blood, a bad reaction to antibiotics. He can't walk, although hopefully he will be able to once the other issues are dealt with.

His Fijian Indian partner visits the hospital daily and gives good care, but he is being very sullen. As I say to R, you can get away with being a petulant young black queen when you are young, but it does not work when you get older, like over 50. He is ignoring us. I always try to find a reason or excuse for people's bad behaviour, and this so annoys R. Regardless, being rude to people if you are struggling a bit with life is not the way to engender sympathy, comfort and help.

Christmas for our friend and his partner and the various visiting relatives of his partner from Fiji and New Zealand did not turn out as planned. Our friend asked if we had some free time, could we take his partner's brothers out somewhere once his partner went back to work.

Many people I have come to know on the internet have been so kind to us. It is time to return the credit for no immediate reward.

Both blokes are actually our friend's partner's cousins, but as their mother died young and they were reared by his mother, they are considered brothers to him.

One is a retired Fijian policeman and the other a motor mechanic of the old school variety, both of Indian heritage.

They were nice, but the small talk was a bit hard at times. Gabbling away is useful at times, as is silence. We took them to Altona for lunch, had a wander on the pier and the streets, some lunch, and then to Williamstown, with a visit to the shop that stinks of patchouli and another pier walk. We watched tourist boats arrive and depart. It was quite a nice outing. We then took them to see their brother's partner in hospital, who was not at all well back then.

Our friend's partner, never said a work of the thanks. A few days later, we dined at a pub with him and the brothers.  He was pleasant then. I ignore his moods etc, but R gets rather hurt by his behaviour because R cares. I don't. We have since left a message for him, asking him to join join us last Saturday night for dinner at The Dick, but he didn't respond.

I don't really like Norfolk Island Pines. We felled a big one that stood mid boundary between us and our semi detached neighbour in East Malvern. I climbed up the tree with an electric chainsaw and cut the beast down. Finally felling the trunk, it nearly fell on the power lines of our neighbour. Where the trunk landed left a big dent in the lawn. But they aren't such a bad tree beachside.


Out on the the Altona Beach Pier.


Now at Williamstown this was once a timeball lighthouse tower. I did note the details at the time.


Many year ago I blogged about the same when we took R's sister in law and her husband there, when they were our house guests.



In Williamstown, we watched from the pier tourist pleasure craft arriving and departing from the pier, including a sea plane.



Nelson Place in Williamstown is quite lovely, but ever so busy with tourists and locals. It has some great old buildings.

30 comments:

  1. Some people never learn the importance of expressing gratitude or at least some semblance of good manners. I imagine that their lives are harder than they need to be as a result.

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    1. Jennifer, you are quite right. It is just basic manners really.

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  2. I entertained an acquaintance, visiting Sydney this week, who I met on our Canadian trip several years ago but with whom I have had no other contact apart from several emails in those years. She sent a very thoughtful message of thanks afterwards. Nice manners.

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    1. Victor, you are an expert entertainer of visitors. It makes an effort seem worthwhile when a sincere thanks is expressed.

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  3. Wishing you friend a comfortable recovery ..a difficult time alround

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    1. John, thanks. Yes, difficult, rather more than I am saying here.

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  4. Even though I just finished my enormous coffee, I found this story difficult to follow. I think because I could not keep track of who people were. Is it your friend who is ignoring you or your friend's partner?

    I'll bookmark this and try to come back later and read it when my mind is more With It, hopefully. If that ever happens today! ;)

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    1. Snoskred, sorry. It is our friend's partner who is ignoring us, and not a word of thanks for entertaining his brothers for a day.

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  5. It is saddening to hear of these health problems occurring too early in life. however, most of which could have been avoided by monitoring your lifestyle earlier.
    A display of gratitude to one's carer's goes a long way in assisting one's recovery.

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    1. Quite true Vest. Sometimes old age creeps up and jumps on you unexpectedly.

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  6. Sorry to hear you're being treated like that, you and R are lovely peeps and don't deserve it xxx
    Love the photos, Williamstown is indeed a nice bit of eye candy.
    I cannot imagine you swarming up a great Norfolk pine, chainsaw in hand, and slaughtering the beast lol.

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    1. Thanks Jayne. Remember how Williamstown was once an ignored little pocket of Melbourne. Yes, young and stupid me with the chainsaw up a tree. I've never done it again. We used a proper company for the next tree removal, and boy it cost.

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  7. Some people are jerks. But I still believe most people are kind and giving.
    Sure hope all works out...Coffee is on

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    1. Dora, I still have faith in the kindness of people. I love the term you used, jerk. Thanks.

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  8. The health of your friend, oh dear not so good when things go wrong.
    Manners, doesn't hurt to say 'thank you', some people just don't and be hanged if I would be bothered with people who can't say 'thanks' but you don't know sometimes till after the nice deed is done - live and learn and keep going forward I expect.
    Nice set of photos Andrew.

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    1. Thanks Margaret. I still live and learn and I am not such a critical person about behaviour of most people. For mine, if he ignores us, fine. I just won't ever bother in the future for any effort for him.

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  9. The behaviour of some people simply amazes me. It costs nothing to be civil.

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    1. Indeed Cro. He avoids us if we see him at the hospital by burying his head in his phone.

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  10. Lovely photos have a great week

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    1. Thanks, the most lovely Gosia.

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  11. I'm sorry to hear your friend in hospital is having so much trouble with non-healing etc. Surely there is something they can do? Maybe some alternative therapies? Or go back to the original old style penicillin? All the new superbugs have adapted to the newer forms, all those "...oxycillins" etc, maybe the old original will work. I've heard of oxygen therapy for diabetic wounds that won't heal too.
    The attitude of the partner could be just because he is stressed over his partners still being in hospital after all this time?

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    1. River, he is under the care of the best specialists in one of the best private hospitals. They have put things on his legs, perhaps oxygen therapy. Some sort of pack and plan to do skin grafts perhaps as early as Friday. Yes, now doubt his partner is stressed over his partner being in hospital for so long and his life has changed dramatically but he also has a long history of similar rudeness and ignoring us.

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  12. Being ill, being bed-ridden with no idea what lies ahead wouldn't be what anyone would want for his/her own self, and one's mood when suffering like that wouldn't be bright and cheerful. And standing helplessly on the sidelines watching someone for whom you care isn't easy either.

    Tough times for all concerned. There is so much going on in their lives, and I'm sure it would be difficult for them to see past their immediate concerns. Don't take offence at attitudes shown as such times. I doubt they are meant to be personal.

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    1. Lee, we really do understand that. Our friend did warn his partner that he was getting old and things would change, but perhaps not as dramatically as either imagined. There is a long history of his rudeness. "Which of them is having a birthday", as we dined out for my birthday a few years ago. I am really not taking great offence. I know what he is like and I really don't care, but R sees it from a different mindset. He cares, has made an effort and has been rejected.

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  13. Kindness, generosity and polite behavior is and has always been FREE. So sad that more people don't take advantage of it. Hugs...RO

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  14. So sad re your friend Andrew, not much fun when you go into hospital and end up catching a bug, it happened to both my sisters! As for his partner have you ever said to him 'what's your problem mate'?

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    1. Grace, these hospital bugs are a big problem, by the sound of it. I think you are right in so far as he needs a good talking to, but it won't be us doing it.

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  15. Altona Beach looks so lovely to me. I wish your friend in the hospital would wake up and smell the roses, there may be few left to smell if he doesn't start taking care of himself.

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    1. Strayer, it is a very peaceful place, most of the time. Perhaps not on a hot day and I am not sure if jetskis have been banned there yet.

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