Thursday, January 25, 2018

New Chappies at work Pt 2

Part 1 was written a little while ago and I thought I could make it more interesting with an anecdotal update.

Shall we say I was on one side of the street and the new gay employee who attracts the adoration of straight women was on the other side of the street in town. There was excessive tram gonging at Bourke Street and I turned around to see why. Nothing to do with the tram gonging but coming up the street was a tall and well built man on a skateboard. He was quite muscular, of olive complexion and tanned too, and only wearing trainers on his feet and a pair of flatteringly fitting pink shorts. Not too tight though. He wouldn't want anyone to think he is gay. He passed right by me.

I then saw my gay workmate on the other side of street. He neck nearly snapped in two as his head swivelled with much acceleration to see the skateboarder. I've seen the same guy on the skateboard again in town, the second time in more subdued maroon shorts. He is no spring chicken, perhaps 30, but one sexy dude.

Now I haven't really ever spoken to this new gay guy at work. I so much wanted to say to him when I next saw him, darls, I saw your neck snap when you saw that hot skateboarder man in Swanston Street. Did you wet yourself?

In the past, like ten years ago plus, I  said to the hot fair straight Greek bloke at work, I've always had fantasies about you Nick but with Peter A (a younger cute straight Italian heritage lad), but I could never work out who I wanted to see on top. Nick went bright red in embarrassment and laughed. I had a workmate called Helena with who I had great fun with in the 90s. I've just remembered Our Friend in Japan met her once. Sorry about that V. I don't really think she was a proper dyke. Her girlfriend at the time was very nice though, and looked after her after she dropped a plugged in toaster into the bath. We ran into her girlfriend once at the gay bar, The Peel, and without Helena there, we really clicked with her, to the point where we never saw or heard from her again. Helena left my workplace and went on to be a receptionist in a brothel. Aren't they all? More amazingly, for one year she lived next door to Mother and Step Father and had a child and I never knew until after she had moved.  Step Father grew quite fond of her for a chat.

Back to Nick. For a bit, he and Helena were an item. Helena told me all about what she and Nick got up to, including with another female. My memories are hazy, but there was a male St Kilda Road, St Kilda tattooist mixed up in this too. I am sure she did so to excite me, that is give the details in graphic description, and it worked. Poor Nick. He knows I know a good bit about him but not really how much. My second last memory of Helena is being on a tram and her hair extensions were falling out. We pulled them out even more. A minor drug may have been involved. I spoke to her on the phone a few years later and the essence was that we were both older and such irresponsible fun times had passed. I should have realised at the time by her family name, but I did work it out that she was Jewish by her naming her son Jacob. She was of Eastern European heritage.  I also remember saying to Nick in a bad Greek Mother accent, oh Nicholas, when are you going to get married and make babies? While he was a party animal, he did marry in his late 30s and father a couple of children and is seemingly happily married. Although he did say to me when he is on holidays, he goes back to his old ways. Tinder is it Nick? You have a snort? Do a line? He pretty well confirmed that.

I am loathe to use the phrase politically correct, but that is what my workplace is now like. So I decided I would not say anything to my newish gay workmate about his head snapping at the hot skater. You've heard or experienced the invisibility of women after 40, or is that 50? As a much older gay man, I am rather invisible to him anyway.

18 comments:

  1. Golly, your sex life is exciting, or is it merely the window shopping variety you are describing?
    Sadly, hot guys leave me utterly cold now. What was that they said about a cup of tea . . . . . .?

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    1. Friko, I said luv, I said pet, at my age window shopping is an effort. Cup of tea, a Bex and a good lie down. But my memory and imagination still work.

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  2. Good god, yes, you must be careful!
    About 20 years ago, at a nursing home I worked at, was a fabulous nurse who wore sensible shoes. We all knew it, it was no big deal, she was a fun, intelligent, wonderfully down to earth person to work with and to have a few wines with outside of work.
    One girl got married , wanted to have babies and went off her meds (which we didn't know she was on at the time). Long story short - her work became bad, sensible shoe nurse pulled her up on it a few times, the off-her-meds nurse reported her for sexual harassment (which never happened) and went on sick leave.
    The harassment from two of the other staff towards sensible shoe nurse saw HER go on stress leave until the company saw the light, agreed to a pay-out and parting of the ways.
    Different to your story, I know, but sometimes the PC silliness protects us more than it protects the idiots xxxx

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    1. Jayne, I have heard of similar in other workplaces. The best that can be said about it is that wearer of sensible shoes got a payout.

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  3. Older women invisibility? if only...
    I was in the Post Office this morning paying my rent and an older (younger than me but not young) woman in front of me was wearing running gear, very, very short shorts with saggy bum cheeks hanging out. Perhaps they'd just 'ridden up' and she hadn't noticed?
    Politically correct workplaces can be a bit dull, but I think it's wise of you to not mention the neck snap.

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    1. River, oh Lordy. It was a Walmart moment at your post office. At times men are very bad at looking at themselves in mirrors, but wow, I think women are a whole lot worse.

      I will bide my time on the neck snap remark. I reel in very slowly.

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  4. It's a shame some of the irresponsible, harmless fun has disappeared. With the PC mob always breathing down our necks, they take the fun out of fun, and the best part out of party!!

    Let it rip...make them all have a neck snap! :)

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    1. Lee, I don't like the phrase political correctness as it often a cover for hurtful things, but my god, how politically correct is my work place. Be careful what you say to a workmate in the carpark, in case someone overhears you.

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  5. I've only worked in an office once in my life (Stock Exchange London) and I don't remember much hanky panky, but there was a very cute strawberry blonde telephonist who attracted some attention.

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    1. No Cro, you wouldn't, as the stock exchange floor was all male. I reckon the receptionist was in a privileged position to pick and choose.

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  6. Interesting read. Can't do anything these days, what a pity. You are wise not to say anything but what a pity, would be good to see and know his reaction.

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    1. Margaret, I reckon you could in the right situation. I may say something. He has disappeared from work, on holidays I guess.

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  7. With so many sexual harassment claims going around you have to be careful what you say to your colleagues.

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    1. Don't I know it Sami.

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  8. Maybe you should wait until about a week before you retire and then turn that stuffy, politically correct workplace into a hedonistic playground once more.. noone would forget you then Andrew.. for years after they will be saying 'remember when...!'

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    1. Great idea Grace. Anyone who has worked there a long time will remember some of the things I did in the past.

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  9. Sounds like you've had a lot of fun in your younger years and yes, at work now, at least here, one must zip the lips.

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    1. Strayer, zip the lips and everything else.

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