Tuesday, September 05, 2017

What you won't hear Australian travellers saying when overseas

The headlines are taken from The Age, in a puff piece travel article. I am just rewriting their puff piece. The text is my own. It was a bit of fun and don't take it too seriously. Remember, this is what you will not hear Australians saying when they travel.

1. I wish we had coffee like this back at home.

You will never hear that. We have the best coffee, coffee machines and coffee makers in the world. In some of our large metropolitan areas in Australia it can be very difficult to find a bad cup of coffee. In other most large metropolitan around areas around the world, it can be impossible to find a decent cup of coffee. I was so disappointed that Canada with its French influence had coffee as bad as the rest of the world. Vietnam does better.

2. This is the most beautiful beach I have ever seen.

No. The Australian coastline has mile upon mile of beautiful beaches At times they can be deserted and you will have a beautiful beach all to yourself. Sounds a bit boring to me, actually. I like people around.

3. I'd love to visit that country, but it is too far away.

No, Australians pop up all over the world in large numbers. While we still complain about long flights to anywhere else than Asia or New Zealand, and the expense, we do it; we travel frequently and often for long distances.

4. Tipping is a terrific idea.

We hate it. We don't know how to do it properly and we don't see why we should do it at all. Why is it not included in the price, on the menu? At best, we do it begrudgingly.

5. Do you accept Australian dollars here?

We are under no illusions that our currency is at all desirable. It isn't and we know it. It is a lesson that US travellers could learn. No, people don't always want US dollars and if they do take them, they are probably cheating you a little with the exchange rate.

6. Everything here is so far apart.

We are used to great distances, as are citizens of the US and Canada. You can fly for five hours in a plane in Australia and not even leave the country. Europeans find our distances hard to comprehend. Strangely so do some US citizens.

7. It's so good to find some other Australians when travelling overseas.

No, we don't leave Australia to find other Australian travellers.  But I suppose if you're missing home a bit, perhaps you wouldn't mind running into one, ever so briefly.

8. No thanks, no drink for me.

Australians like to drink, often to excess. It is in our English and Scottish genes, well for those who have them. Why change that habit when overseas, especially when on holidays?

9. The rent here is insanely expensive.

Apart from central New York, Tokyo and London, we won't be shocked by rental prices. We are constantly shocked in our own country by our own rental and property prices. I am not quite sure how Australians can afford to live in Australia.

10. Are you from Australia or New Zealand?

A Kiwi can live in Australia for almost their whole adult life and can almost get away with people thinking they are Australian, but there will be one word or that one vowel sound that will give them away. Australians do know who is a New Zealander as soon as they speak. I am unsure if it works in reverse.

Bonus 11. Australia is the best country in the world.

While we may smugly and secretly think this, we don't go around shouting it about to all and sundry. It is not God's Own Country, but not such a bad place.

33 comments:

  1. Yes.
    Though with Bonus 11 while agreeing it isn't a bad place (mostly) I don't know where the best place in the world is.

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    1. EC, yes, it probably isn't here. Parts of Europe are so nice.

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  2. A nice post andrew....agree everything but the coffee

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    1. John, you had bad coffee here!!! I am outraged.

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  3. Andrew so tomorrow my a cup of coffee should be in Australia

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    1. Indeed it should, Gosia.

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  4. I don't hate tipping. Only yesterday I enjoyed lunch with a couple of friends at a local restaurant here on the mountain...and I gave the waitress a tip. I guess after years of working in the industry I don't have a wall up about tips as some people do.

    The wonderful Land of Oz is wonderful, and I have no desire to live anywhere else.

    And we do have great coffee! :)

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    1. Lee, I don't mind doing it the Australian way, say rounding up to the $5 or $10 but I do like it to be optional.

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  5. Re "I wish we had coffee like this back at home". We used to say that, but not for a long time. The first espresso machine arrived in Australia in 1956 because the Italians wouldn't send an Olympic team otherwise. And as Australia's biggest non-British population back then were Italians, it would have caused a riot.

    Since the day Pellegrini's and Leo's brought in brilliant coffee in 1956, I agree that Australians have never pined for overseas coffee again.

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    1. Hels, I think those coffee machines changed Australia forever.

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    2. And changed my own life forever. Espresso is my only full blown addiction!

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  6. #8; I would say that.
    I agree with all the rest though, especially knowing 'they' don't want our Australian dollars, and not shouting out about how we are the best country in the world.
    I like this article a lot :)

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    1. Thank you River. Yes, I know you are not a lush, unlike some people.

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  7. I never thought I'd become a 'coffee snob' but when o/seas I usually drink water - or wine 😊 ~ Cathy

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    1. Cathy, wine is very good for you when travelling. It can keep you calm in trying circumstances.

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  8. We have a small Aussie community not far away. I think they arrived following my friend Mary Moody's first book (in which I appear). They must have liked the sound of the place. One local store even had an Aussie flag inside.

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    1. Ah Cro, you know Ms Moody. She is an interesting character. I haven't actually read her books and perhaps I should.

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  9. I can't comment on anything you wrote except the coffee ! Mr. G. would et a heard attack if he reads that Australia has the best coffee, unless the coffee was made by Italian immigrants ! It's a whole ceremony to make coffee in Italy ! They also like it very strong (Espresso) and say that in other countries you get dishwash water, lol !

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    1. Gattina, the Italians brought good coffee to Australia in the 1950s. Yes, like dishwater in many countries.

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  10. I enjoyed this, Andrew. It was fun to read. Good to know you've got great coffee:) That alone is a reason to visit;)

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    1. Sandra, I don't know if our style of coffee is to everyone's taste.

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  11. I love it! I wish we had better coffee here. Much of it is tasteless and the new trend is just to have it half sugar and flavorings.

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    1. Strayer, coffee flavoured with things horrifies me. Starbucks has almost failed here as a business.

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  12. I also think "the best place in the world" is relative to individual personal judgement. With everybody liking something different the best place in the world is everywhere.

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    1. River, wise words, and it is arrogant to think otherwise.

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  13. I feel very unAustralian!!

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    1. C'mon Fen, which do have issues with?

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    2. I don't drink coffee or alcohol and I have seen some amazing beaches overseas that leave most of ours for dead!! :P

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    3. Fen, an interesting view about beaches that I don't share. There are beaches I would like better, but I don't think they are better beaches.

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  14. Absolutely agree with Bonus 11, Australia IS the best place to be.. mind you that could be my fear of flying anywhere else talking 😀

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    1. Shh Grace. Too many will want to come here. Oh, they are already.

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  15. Fen, I've goned his multiple comments again. I turned comment approval for a while but I find it easier to just delete the spam.

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    1. Fen, I have the email of you latest comment, but it doesn't seem to be here. It is up to Blogger to stop spam. I can do it, but at inconvenience to me and my readers/commenters.

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