Saturday, June 24, 2017

Family Stuffs

R is so much better at talking to people than I am. Here is why.

Firefighting Nephew called today. He does not normally call Auntie Andrew, so it must be important, and it was.

Ex Sis in Law, his mum,  has been in hospital having an infected cyst removed from under her arm. She is home now.

Ex Sis in Law's husband has been in hospital with an ear problem. He will return to hospital next week to have a knee replacement. Then later, the other knee must be done.

(Intervention) R spoke to Ex Sis in Law on the telephone as I began to write this. There were tears, me included, as I sat on the balcony pondering)

Tradie Brother went to hospital in ambulance and has a bowel ulcer. He has had surgery and will be in for a few days and has a stomach band. He called Mother just after he was out of surgery and made no sense at all to her. He wanted to hear Mummy's voice and reassurance. Mother always being there for her children is something I will focus on at her funeral, and in times of strife for her children, she really has been there to do her duty. Some of you may wonder why we put up with her nonsense at times, but she was a very good and understanding mother to us and we never went without. She knew I was gay before I did and that was not in a time where gay children were so readily embraced. She complains about Sister and Bone Doctor, but not about them being two women together. She tried to find a wife for ABI son, to no avail, but she worries more about him than any of her other children.

It is Oldest Niece's 29th birthday. She is in town for a knees up with mates, while Ex Sis in Law, just out of hospital, looks after Little M and Little Em........and one of the twin baby girls.

The other twin girl is being looked after by her Islander dad. The twinnies are undergoing a quick weaning.

So what has happened to Hippie Niece with her twin daughters? She has had a total breakdown and is drugged to the maximum at the local hospital. There is a four week wait for placement at a good hospital to treat her, as her Specialist said (specialist in what?) to treat the most extreme case of postnatal depression he/she has ever seen. If you remember, the twinnies were no longer born than they flew off to New Zealand for their paternal grandfather's dying ceremony.

I've spoken to Mother tonight. She is worried and concerned but calm. Firefighting Nephew called his gran today after he called me, and he cried on the phone to his gran. He has done his part, being down with his sisters and mother and doing looking after the twinnies.

Oh dear, we were out on the balcony looking at works being done down below and I cracked and burst into tears, a five minute interlude while writing this post. I want to give Hippie Niece a big hug and tell her everything will be ok, but she doesn't even want to see her own mother, her twin daughters, let alone us.

Oh yes, it did go all go so wrong after R's humour when Ex Sis in Law rang. R said to her, what are you lot doing keeping doctor's in Porsche's? Little did we know, and it went downhill from there.

We can't help anyone in a practical way without offering money. I will text Ex Sis in Law with some kind words and ask for Hippie Niece's partner's phone number and find out how short of money they are and see if we can help there, but really, while they don't have money, money is not the problem.

Anyway, off to see Little Jo perform tomorrow. As cousins, Little Jo and my other nieces and nephew will never really connect because of the age difference. Little Jo is kind of more age connected to our great nieces. But those branches of the family may well not connect in the future. Little Jo's life is so different to the other side of family. Not better, not worse, just ever so different.

15 comments:

  1. Sending you (and your 'mate' R) best wishes Andrew. Oh that every family had a caring concerned 'older male' family member

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    1. Thanks Cathy, caring yes, but quite impotent to really help. PS, Yes, you have come back and I have read your posts.

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  2. *hugs* to you and yours.

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  3. Goodness. You make me feel almost happy that I have so few relatives. Hope all goes well.

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  4. Goodness it's all going on right now Andrew. It never rains but it pours as the old saying goes. I do believe everything will sort itself out, the most serious thing here it seems is Hippie Niece's depression but with the right care that will be sorted. It was really lovely to hear you acknowledge your mum's roll in the family Andrew, you know I have a 'virtual' soft spot for her. All you can do is be there if your help is needed xox

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  5. I am so sorry. That impotent caring causes me to weep often too.
    I so hope things settle, and LOVED your acknowledgement of your mother's support for all.

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  6. Being all alone in this world - in that I have no living immediate relatives - I don't experience these type of situations. I wonder how I would manage?

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  7. Anonymous8:04 am

    Specialists to what? I put them up there with so called experts on everything and wonder why we should listen to them anyway. At least you have a family. I have cousins, two brothers, who have barely spoken for 40 years. They've hated each other since childhood. - Ian

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  8. My your family has been in the wars lots of things going on there hope all is well and back to normal soon but these things always bring families closed together.
    Merle..........

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  9. Thanks everyone.

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  10. I'm so sad after reading all this Andrew. So many bad things ad all at once it seems. Really sorry to hear about Hippie Niece, but good to hear she is getting help and the twins are being cared for. Truly wonderful to hear your Mother is caring and coping. She's stronger than she sometimes pretends.

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    1. Yes, we've always known that Mother is strong in times of crisis. Be it personal issues for her children, years ago Tradie Brother nearly losing his leg after a motorcycle accident, to ABI's terrible bicycle accident/suicide attempt, to the death of Stepfather.

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  11. Goodness me Andrew, such is life at times but certainly not good when family are not well.
    A mum is a mum no matter what - she's always your mum :)
    Post natal depression - oh dear, so sad and so many women do go through that - eventually Hippy niece will come right, but it's from now on that's so hard, hard to understand the human mind in such a situation.
    I wish everyone well along with you and R. xxx

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    1. Margaret, I suppose you may have come across it professionally. There are only six hospital beds in Victoria to deal with it, rather disgraceful.

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  12. Hope your niece gets the help she needs to deal with post natal depression. Wonderful that your Mom is very much the Matriarch and cares for her family.

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