Tuesday, February 07, 2017

Don't come here

A man and his son were both bitten by a tiger snake after it invaded their suburban home. It is one of the most poisonous snakes in the world and very aggressive. The snake positioned itself to prevent the man getting medical help. Believe some of that, but all survived, including the snake.

A driver had a snake pop up in front of her windscreen as she was driving.

A woman was bitten multiple times by a lethal funnel web spider that had crawled into her bed. She survived, just.

All we hear on the evening tv news is our local beaches polluted by fecal matter after heavy rain, and this attracts sharks cruising closely along the coastline, ready to bite off your leg if you want a cool down swim in our killer heat waves. Old people in colder countries die from the cold. Our oldies die from the heat.

I haven't even mentioned crocodiles, box jellyfish, man of war jellyfish, irukandji jellyfish, blue ringed octopus and spitfire caterpillars. Mind your little doggie and pussy, lest a wedge tailed eagle swoops down, grasps your favourite pet with its talons, lifts it into the air and then tears it apart. They could probably take a new born baby for that matter, babies being a favourite food for dingoes too.

Don't come here unless your want your bum bitten by the lethal Redback Spider when you sit on a toilet seat.

Just this week a woman in an outer suburb was attacked by a kangaroo. It is quite true. Imagine jogging through Hyde Park or Central Park and being attacked by a 2 metre tall testosterone fuelled beast with claws that can expose your innards at the drop of a hat.

It is a dangerous country. No, don't come here. I don't know how I have survived to be able to write this.

Well, I have to try to limit our extreme population explosion somehow.

26 comments:

  1. You make it sound a real adventure Andrew. I'm going off to book my ticket now!

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    1. Marie, do you have any of that bear repellent left? Best bring it. It may work here.

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  2. despite danger it is my dream to visit Australia

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    1. Gosia, bring plenty of zlotys.

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  3. Sound Scary. But here lot people are scared of bears.
    Coffee is on

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    1. Dora, when we were in Canada, we saw a ranger threaten to arrest someone who was out of their car and very close to a bear.

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    2. At least bears are bigger, so easier to spot coming for you.

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    3. Quite true, River, but than can also outrun us.

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  4. Ticks! Don't forget ticks!! I have a lovely big huntsman on the wall of my landing at the moment. I'm slightly in awe of her. She is eating all our pesky insects.

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    1. Fen, ah yes, ticks. They may not become apparent until the visitor returns home. I saw a photo of your huntsman on a flower pot. How do you know it is a her?

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    2. No idea! But if I am going to anthropomorphise it, then it needs a gender!

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    3. And like God is a she, why shouldn't the spider be a she.

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  5. Yikes! Of all those beasts you went on about, I think crocs would scare me the most since I like to swim. the Florida alligators aren't much safer, never been there either. We have only a couple of poisonous spiders here. The black widow bite probably would not kill you but the Brown Recluse bite could, and might mean you lose a finger. The Rattlesnake is our only poisonous snake here in Oregon. there are plenty of them, but not in colder locations, them being cold blooded. We have loads of cougars, very close in, but I don't know that anyone in Oregon has been killed by a cougar in a very long time. Pets are taken routinely by cougars, bobcats, foxes and coyotes, the latter being extremely common everywhere, even in cities.

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    1. Strayer, rattlesnakes terrify me. Have you ever seen one in the wild? Or in your garden? I am sure there is a joke to made about cougars getting their claws into you. Not sure that the US sounds so safe either.

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  6. You forgot to mention the notorious riptides that sweep unsuspecting tourist swimmers out to see, and sudden waves that sweep rock fishermen out to sea, also, in SA at least, the three-cornered jack, a large prickle capable of penetrating through thongs with one of the spines sometimes breaking off and remaining embedded in a foot, where it gets infected.

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    1. River, yes those too. Just our seawater takes so many. I do not know about this three-cornered jack and I will continue to wear shoes outside and not thongs.

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  7. "out to see"?? (*~*) that should read "out to sea"

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  8. You forgot to include the most dangerous predator of all....humans.

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    1. Nah... humans can sometimes be horrible, but crocs etc are always horribler!

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    2. Lee, to animals humans are certainly dangerous and we are pretty dangerous to each other at times.

      Hels, I wonder if the ecological system would collapse if crocs went out of existence. Aside from each other, we are their only predator.

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  9. Excellent publicity article for a travel agency, lol !

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    1. Gattina, come and visit! You may never return.

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  10. So many 'things' it's a wonder we all are alive!
    Miss 4 was bitten 2 times by a white tail spider, she recovered.
    Did see photos of the lady clawed by the roo wasn't good.

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    1. Margaret, yes, it was pretty horrible. Attacks like that are rare though.

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  11. I absolutely get your point Andrew.. I really don't know why I spend so much time telling people how fantastic Perth is.. it is a really, really dreadful place 😉😉

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    1. Grace, Perth is a manageable city still. You can still get around ok, and does not feel overcrowded as Melbourne and Sydney do. (except Friday night in Northbridge)

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