Saturday, December 24, 2016

Flip Mate

I have a Filipino workmate. I've known him a long time but we aren't friends. We just have a chat at times.

Once back in the days when I would participate in gay chat lines, yes Hels, IRC, I came across someone who was friendly and we chatted for a while and he then asked me where I worked. I normally don't say, but for some forgotten reason I did. He asked me if I knew A, a Filipino. Of course I did. The chat went back and forth and eventually I asked if A was properly gay. I am sure it wasn't phrased like that though. Oh yes, was the reply, he certainly is. Some time later, A's photo appeared in the gay press with a rather nice looking white guy while they were out at a venue.

A is tall, nice looking and seems to have a lot of Spanish blood, as some Filipinos do. He always had terrific thick black hair and the most modern styling of his hair, with a style and or colour change almost fortnightly. But something happened and suddenly the hair went flat and boring.

What happened, may you wonder. He married, a woman, and had children. He no longer pops a Christmas card in my work letter box, just as well because they always concluded with God Bless. Even in his old gay days, he was quite religious, a Catholic of course.

Recently I asked him his age. Straight guys are usually honest about their age. He told me an age which my mind quickly calculated to him starting at our workplace at about the age of ten. There is still a little bit of the gay about him. Does he have a bit of gay action on the side of his marriage? I don't know but so many I know do so, yet have a seemingly good marriage.

Being gay and being married and with children is a very Asian/Indian thing. It is not exclusively so though. Note the number of men at gay pick up parks etc with a child seat in the back of their car. We happened across such a place by chance in our western suburbs, and the number of cars there with child seats in the back was extraordinary. On recent holidays we came across another similar place at Batemens Bay, that is guys absent from their cars, somewhere in the bush and child seats in the back of their cars.

13 comments:

  1. Hmm.
    Not very different from the straight men who remove their wedding rings and masquerade as single....

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    1. EC, accidentally posted before finished. There was supposed to be an intro. Your point is valid but some men would argue that cheating with a man is not like cheating with woman within a marriage. But then some married men would argue that cheating with another woman for sex is not cheating because there is no love involved. Lordy, those orbs that kill their brain that hang between men's legs cause so much trouble. Is that a cop out?

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    2. Cheating is cheating is cheating.

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    3. I cannot deny your basic emphasis. I was making excuses for men, and many men don't cheat. Sexist perhaps and no apology for bad behaviour by men, but the drive of some men is so extreme, they become obsessed to the point where it kills their rational thought. Oh, a rapist or murderer could argue the same point. I am not winning here at all, am I.

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    4. That's so sad. Maybe many men should get neutered so they can have real lives. that's what I tell the male cats on the way to the neuter clinic.
      and they do become free then, of the frantic drive to mate and fight. It's pathetic.

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    5. Strayer, I fear you speak the truth.

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  2. I agree with EC. If you can't stay loyal and true to your one partner, then get divorced.

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  3. I remember using an IRC gay chat line. I never knew what IRC meant or stood for but it was cumbersome to log into and to a lesser extent use. Social media nowadays is so much easier to use.

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    1. Victor, you know now it was International Relay Chat? Finding a working server was the issue I remember struggling with. I still have a list of the best.

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    2. Thank you. Primitive days of the world wide web.

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  4. To me you are going to be one thing or the other!
    No cheating on either.
    It's all very sad really, I presume society/custom expects them to marry a women when they most likely don't want it that way plus the same for women who feel they need to marry a man!

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    1. Margaret, the pressure on them from family is extreme. The father or mother might even have a frank chat with them, it doesn't matter what you like and what you get up to, you must get married and have children. I've heard this time and time again.

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