Sunday, May 22, 2016

The personal bits

This is my diary, albeit a public one, and I need to record things.

I still had a week off work after our Perth holiday and on Thursday the second after we returned, I went with R to do Mother duty, the main reason being that Middle Niece and my great nieces would join us for lunch. It was a lovely catch up, and out on the street I fascinated Little M with the sliding doors of a birdcage and sweeping the footpath, courtesy of the $2 shop next door to the cafe. I lavished $2.50 on mittens as a gift from Little M to her younger sister Little Em. Just so lovely to see them.

A few months ago we had a pretty lousy meal at a restaurant at Crown Casino. The former NT Politician/Policeman friend complained and received a $200 voucher to be spent at an upmarket restaurant at Crown. Manny from Malaysia of the coffee empire was visiting so the opportunity to spend the voucher part paid for our meal. It was quite a high class place, with lighting so dim you could not read the menu. I actually prefer that than lighting way too bright. You can always turn your phone on for more light for the menu. For a posh place that we would not normally attend, it was ok, but the service could have been better. At those prices, we should not have to make theatrical gestures to attract the attention of staff. Ok, yes, I will name it and the food was good; Mr Hive.

On Mother's Day, the nieces and nephew have their own mother to attend to, but for my mother, all Mother's children attended the old Pakenham football/racing club venue for a Sunday lunch, along with Bone Doctor and Little Jo. It is funny that Little Jo, Mother's granddaughter is only a few years older than Mother's great grand children, as mentioned above. ABI Brother is a member of the club and obtained a three course meal for us all for only twenty dollars each. It was really as much as you could eat and the staff were just wonderful. The Pakenham racecourse club has sold its valuable racecourse land in town and moved further afield. Flush with money, they will build a new venue too and where we lunched will soon be closed, with the local council having taken over the land.

Mother can be such a pain, just ask R who does more for her than any of her children, but it was a really nice experience for us all to be together with Mother, and Little Jo was quite attentive to her Grannie. I guess she knows her 82 year old grannie won't last forever........although she may very well last for a long time yet. I've been mentally writing Mother's obituary, which will never be read and certainly not by me, but it begins;

Some of you older folk will have remember the late comedian Spike Milligan. Some of you will have only heard of him. Upon Spike's head stone is the inscription, "I told you I was unwell".  And how so much this would have applied to our mother. For a very long time she has been telling us how unwell she is and finally she was proved right, but it has been a very long path to reach the conclusion.

OMG, we have just realised Sister will turn 50 next year. She was recently visited the islands north of the Northern Territory with her senior school boys. I feel sorry for any of her school boys who don't like football. I think she stayed on Bathurst Island, sleeping on a concrete floor for a week before the luxury of a rather nice hotel on her own in Darwin for two nights. The tales from her school trip were amazingly educational, including about a Sikh family who feed the 'grass people' regularly. Sister's and her lads' bags were meticulously searched for alcohol and drugs before they were allowed on the island. Right, I can see google won't be so helpful about grass people. They are local people living in grasslands, not part of general Australian society as we know it.

Even more OMG, Bone Doctor turns 40 this year. We went to her 30th birthday at a venue near the Austin Hospital where she was then working. Gee, how long have Sister and Bone Doctor been together? I've said it before, but after first meeting Bone Doctor, I wrote to Mother, expressing my hope that BD would be accepted into the family, just as R was. It did not happen. Bone Doctor could be said to march to the beat of a different drum, but we like her. Mother does not really, and the rest of my family are nice to her, but have never quite embraced her. Mother and Bone Doctor are perfectly pleasant to each other, but there is always a sense of tension when they are together. Bone Doctor is quite clinical with her medical skills and I know enough about medical matters to know she first class but that is not what Mother wants if she seeks any sort of comforting words from Bone Doctor. Bone Doctor has more patience for drug addicts than she does for old women whose organs are functioning perfectly well and only suffers from old age problems, especially if such a person won't follow medical advice but will self diagnose and self medicate.

Tradie Brother was made redundant from his employment and seems to have adequate money for the short term and seems to be liking his non employed status. My God, he has worked so long and so hard for such a long time with few holidays, good on him. He supported his former wife, and her parents and brought up his children. He deserves a rest. He is not perfect but a very kind person.

His wife, Tradie Brother's ex wife, ran a bakery business in mid Gippsland for the last few years and I have not heard the full story, but she and her husband have walked out of their business and home, as of last Friday.  They do still have their house on the Mornington Peninsula but I think it is mortgaged to the hilt and there are tenants in there at the moment, so they are going to live in the garage of Oldest Niece's partner's father. Crap happens, hey. Tradie Brother and Ex Sis in Law lived in a relative's garage for time after Non Dreaded Fire Fighting Nephew was born.

23 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:26 am

    you are a terrible person, however that insight into your family helps explain a lot of it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I did not write that comment above just in case you thought it was me being snarky as usual.
    My immediate family consists of mother, sister, nephew, partner and great-nephew. I should include granddaughters but too far away from me now thanks to ex daughter-in-law, Queen Bitch of the Universe. And glory to be it's been 10 years since I set eyes on the ex-husband.
    I should be happy and will be when I am invited to my birthday afternoon tea at the HighRise this year. Yes,that was a HINT.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jah Teh, I was going to delete the above comment but now you have mentioned it, I will leave it. I don't know why people bother. The BSH is your nephew or great nephew? I had a date in mind for afternoon tea and you are still welcome but I have just learnt the lifts will be down for maintenance that day. I'll understand if you can't make it.

      Delete
  3. The snarky comment isn't mine either.
    So terrible when people have to walk away and leave a home and business, I hope they will be okay.
    Nice to read of family happenings; Bone Doctor sounds like a very sensible person, another few decades may see her fully accepted. I hope.
    I always felt I didn't quite belong in my hubby's family, too independent to suit the MIL I suppose. She is one who needs to be needed. She is 91 now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. River, Bone Doctor is sensible, too sensible at times. Gee, your former husband's mother is still going. She must have good genes or led an easy life.

      Delete
  4. And the snarkiness didn't come from here either.
    I am so impressed at how family minded you are. Accepting them warts and all.
    Our family is not nearly so good at it.
    I am the glue which holds them together, and some days they resent it. But not (quite) enough to break free.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EC, it easy to take offence. Much harder to ignore it or try to understand why. Life has taught me people rarely are deliberately nasty and usually offence is caused by thoughtlessness. I am sure you are terrific glue for your family. Someone has to take that role.

      Delete
  5. A newsy family post.
    I'm with BD regarding your mum.
    At least you all talk to one and other which is good..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Margaret, we do and that is so important to me. If you met my mother, she would charm the socks off you and you be would caught into her web of being another of her helpers.

      Delete
    2. Andrew, I would see through your dear Mother :) I'm well trained for that!

      Delete
    3. Maybe.....she is very good at manipulation.

      Delete
  6. Andrew personally I think nobody shouldn't give opinion about your family because there are not ideal families around the world. Hui\gs from Poland

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Gosia. I take little notice of what anonymous people say.

      Delete
  7. I have never met a family that is completely functional, yet most like yours are quite colorful. Love your soap opera family posts, very entertaining.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stayer, don't encourage me. Actually, family stuff seems to happen in bursts and then nothing for weeks.

      Delete
  8. Blimey I thought my family were complicated Andrew but yours takes the cake :) Question.. is Tradie Brother your actual brother? Your first comment today made me smile, wonder who it was :) In defense of Bone Doctor I do think that most doctors get a bit clinical like that, comes with the territory. I nearly slapped the doctor I saw a few weeks ago when he pushed my knee too far but loved seeing him grovel when he got the results of the MRI back and saw that I not only had several tears but a fracture also, was almost worth the pain :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Grace, I really can't answer the question about TB here. Here I was just recently telling you that via my blog I only know nice people, and then someone spoils it.

      I would have thought the doctor would be gentle with your knee until he established how bad it was.

      Delete
  9. Andrew, how wonderful, you thought of me. Now just email the date and I'll arrive a week early and climb the stairs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes, and the stair handrails will be removed for spray painting too.

      Delete
  10. Well, that's terribly inconvenient. Perhaps I could pop in and help JahTeh up the stairs (*~*)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no, not again. The trio wants to party at our place and like kids, bust it up.

      Delete
  11. You are lucky to have such a big family ! We are only 5 a SIL and niece living far away in Italy, the rest is all dead ! And my SIL is 85 ten years more than her brother, so she won't travel anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gattina, I guess that is what happens when you get old. You are fortunate to have some good friends to spend time with.

      Delete