Back here I mentioned a neighbour who had just been diagnosed with dementia. He told me about the diagnosis and also that his doctor had been forced to take his driving license away from him. N said that the doctor said how ridiculous it was that he was forced to take away N's license when he was such early onset dementia and he clearly had his faculties at this point. That was last November.
We recently ran into his wife who has put N into an expensive nursing home, initially for a two week respite, but then when N returned home, he said he wanted to go back to the nursing home. He found the luxurious place, $350,000 (bond?) to get into the place plus ongoing fees, a nice place to live and many people who were prepared to hear him talk, unlike his long suffering wife.
We knew they were going on a cruise and the last crunch was then, when there was a possible man overboard situation when N disappeared for five hours. While he is an hour away by car from his home, he is near his daughters who see him regularly and his wife makes the trip to see him a couple of times a week. She thinks she will sell their apartment here and find someone near the nursing home to live. That may be rash if he continues to deteriorate at the speed he is now.
While I used to chat to him and he was a significant presence on the body corporate committee when we were, I can't say I really liked him. He was a know it all, bombastic at times, always argumentative yet he had an excellent memory. I liked him more after we left the body corp committee and there was no friction between us. We would just chat and he was a gossip and enjoyed passing on news about other people, including the ructions within the body corp committee.
As far as I know, there is no dementia on either side of my family, nor R's, so maybe we won't experience it in our family and so avoid such the extreme sadness, never mind the difficulties, that when a person you know becomes a person you don't know and who know longer knows you. Already N is not recognising people. Before too long, it will be his own family. R tells me he knows of such quick progression but I don't. I don't know much about his wife but she is Melbourne born and bred. Her father, Brighton born (umm, don't read too much into that. Brighton was not always as expensive as it now is) only died a few years ago and I expect she has roots here in Melbourne and so, as I said, I hope she does not make a rash decision to sell here.
Once one reaches a certain age, one does ponder the future, what might be good and what might be bad. Fatal heart attack in bed at 5am, way to go! Shocking for your loved ones, but you are past caring and they don't have to suffer anything drawn out and lingering.