Thursday, April 07, 2016

The gay butch and his tool

I am open to offers from London tabloids as a headline writer.

The plumber who was here to install the sink and gas cook top told us our shelf under the sink will no longer fit. No kidding. We can see it won't fit. He suggested that maybe the the company we hired can do something about it. That would be for an extra fee, no doubt. We didn't like the plumber. For the extra work he had to do, there was a cost of $130 to be added to the bill, but he said give me $100 and the $130 won't go on the bill. R dealt with it and probably made a wrong decision  to pay him the $100.

We now may be inner city latte sipping, sav blanc wine drinking, older gay, occasional socialists as suits our purpose, but renovate we have done in the past with our own hands and I still have my jigsaw. The cut out is not so hard and even though half the shelf is cut through, it will still support the minimal weight of dishwasher tablets, Jiff, Ajax, Windex, Eucalyptus oil, a scourer and dish cloth but the clearance above the sink drain is the real problem. We are talking of a few of millimetres, like less that quarter of an inch. We will simply gouge out the bottom of the shelf where it sits over the drain pipe to make it fit.

Well, that is what I thought. We spent about an hour fixing the shelf and by golly, getting down and dirty in a cramped space is not so easy. Added to my woes, my hands were less than steady this morning., when I has some precise cutting and drilling to do. Mind, my shakes are nothing like Cranky's and didn't our heart go out to her after seeing the video she posted. While her regular readers knew of her condition, it was really so revealing to see how it impacts on her. I am so pleased she made and shared the video.

Back to the carpentry. I measured a few times, having in the past ignored the saying 'measure twice, cut once', with the expected results.  Our Black and Decker jigsaw is over 30 years old and it has been the most amazing electric tool, as has been our drill of a similar vintage. I cut through a piece of 6" x 4" hard red gum timber with the jigsaw once. I think it took longer than half an hour. But it is not really a tool of finesse.

The cutting out was quite painless, but as we expected the shelf sat on the drain pipe. We tried moving it up a level, but then it was causing stress to the dishwasher tap. After considerable discussion, we decided to make new shelf support holes in between the one that was too high and the one that was too low and after a lot of sweat, literally, the job was done. It is not as convenient as it was with less storage for Vim of the taller variety than there was, but then with some new cupboards being added to our kitchen, much of our storage space will be re-organised, and hopefully the linen press will not longer have to be used as a pantry.

The linen press does not contain much linen.  It is well due a reorganisation.


The new cutout, with the old circular cutouts.  


The dishwasher hose from the tap is barely touching the shelf and not under any stress, which it was when we used the higher shelf holes.


Nor is the shelf sitting and rocking on top of the horizontal joining ring that it was in its original position.  


Cleaning up and putting my tools back to where they belong took fifteen minutes, and quite exhausted by what would be a small amount of effort for a thirty year old, it was time to go out for lunch. We earnt it.

That is where the post should finish, but you know what I had for lunch? A bowl of fruit salad with yogurt. Am I not so virtuous? Ok, it was preceded by a hash brown, and later in the afternoon I ate two left over sausages from the fridge and I bit the head off my chocolate Easter bilby.

25 comments:

  1. Ahh do it yourself always feel good after you have finished and the experts come in and boom bang bang and they have finished but they sure know how to charge,
    Merle...........

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    1. Merle, it was only a minor job really and the company would have fixed the problem, I am sure. But we had the time, so we did it.

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  2. I am soon impressed.

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    1. Marie, actually it is a little sad compared to the huge projects we have taken on at various houses. I truly don't know how we did it.

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  3. Thank you Andrew, sending you huge love. (Btw, shaking is shaking, no scorekeepers here.)

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  4. Well done you. I have done some jobs myself but it takes sooooo long that I always wonder whether it is worth it. I am impressed with the work you did. And the shakes suck. Big time.

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    1. RC, sometimes I just give up and R will do things that require a steady hand, but I try not to. Eating and drinking tea and coffee from cups and sauces is difficult.

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  5. Nothing like a man with a power tool and where's my Bilby?

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    1. Well Jah Teh, it is like this. I ate my bilby and I was still hungry, so I decapitated yours. Sorry.

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  6. You have a linen cupboard? I'm so jealous! There isn't one here and I had sheets and towels and throw rugs stashed all over the place until I sent most of them to Vinnie's.
    I like your handiwork there, seems to be doing the job just fine. I can't cut a straight line to save my life, so I'd have to fork out the $$$ for a professional.
    I think the plumber scammed you with that extra cash though, ripped off his company too by pocketing the $100. If you do a check, you might find there wouldn't (might not) have been any 'extra $130' charge.

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    1. River, we actually have quite a lot of storage space, but you know what happens with space? Nature hates a vacuum and fills the space. We too were concerned about paying the cash, so we clarified with the company without mentioning figures, and us paying him for the extra work he did was fine with them.

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    2. I'm glad you checked with the company. You're right about nature abhorring a vacuum. The little space I have here is packed full and I keep rearranging trying to make things look tidy.

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  7. Self satisfaction after doing it yourself. You are lucky you are able to do 'things', so many men and women haven't a clue. Well done Andrew.

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    1. Unfortunately Margaret there is a PS. The hose at the dishwasher tap is leaking, so it is off to big green shed to buy a work drive clip, cut the hose and reclamp it.

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    2. That would be a worm drive clip. And it wasn't necessary. R got all butch and took the jigsaw in hand and cut another hole in shelf, which is not much more than the skeleton of shelf.

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  8. Haha .. You make me laugh!
    Mind you I am looking at your pantry photo (notice I say photo and not photos) and I think oh look he has the same packets lined up underneath each other on two shelves.
    You too can laugh 😄

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    1. Carol, I did smile. Yes, not the best photos.

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  9. I know plumbing must work well and plumbers are totally essential. But I would rather be a dentist :( Or an underground coal miner :(

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    1. Hels, and earn less money? Less than a dentist even?

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  10. Or a real estate agent :(

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  11. That was unbelievably restrained of you, after all that hard work, why not chocolate and big fat dripping steak or burger, I would think to myself, even though I don't eat meat. Ice cream then, not yogurt.

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    1. Strayer, as anyone who knows me will tell you, I am a person of moderation. Hey, was that a lightening bolt?

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  12. I did read this post word for word. I might as well have been reading Lithuanian. That is why I pay the cute local plumber to change a washer for me.

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    1. Don't worry Victor, that time is not far away for us.

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