Thursday, December 03, 2015

The mysterious case of the white underpants

I know I have got you in by the subject line. I might be able to bust a drug ring, as I did last week, but this is an unsolvable mystery.


These appeared to be freshly laundered and they were lying on my bed.

R, whose underpants are these?

Yours.

No, they are not.

You mistakenly left them on my bed with my other clean jocks and socks.

I did not. I have never seen them before.

Well, I don't know whose they are then, and how did they get here?

There wasn't a plausible explanation. I may have had white underpants, but if I did, that would be three decades ago. They are my size, whereas R wears a larger size. As we both now wear the same brand, R cuts the labels off his so it is clear whose underpants they are when I am sorting out the washing. The label was intact and there was some odd loose red thread where another, a rear label, may have once been attached.

One explanation I can think of is that Bone Doctor left a pair here, but I know she wears men's Y fronts, as she refuses to pay outrageous much higher prices for women's underwear. They wouldn't fit Sister.

We have looked after Dog Jack for four days twice over the past three weeks. Did they somehow arrive here in his bag of food and goodies?

Aside from the furniture delivery men, Dog Jack's mum is the only person aside from us who has been inside the apartment for well over a month.

We did have to empty out drawers with the arrival of the new furniture. Did they come from a drawer?

I'm afraid I really don't believe any of these possible explanations. The only one that makes sense is that they are a very old pair of R's from back in the days when he wore a smaller size. They are the Jockey brand and 100% cotton, as he used to wear.

But never mind, the underpants are in the washing basket and as they are my size, I will wear them.

36 comments:

  1. oh fabulous.
    We have all found undies in our beds and wondered whose they were.
    Am thrilled to hear about Bone Doc as I used to wear guy's Y's back in the 70's for the wider crotch much nicer on hot days [is that TMI? I don't care].

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    1. Ann, I think the TMI is finding strange pairs of underpants in your bed. The Y's with the central ventilation gap.

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  2. Check if the building caretaker is going commando!

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    1. John, he is quite nice and I would happily check.

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    2. Blog a photo of him !!!!

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  3. I own up Andrew. I spirited them into your room to attract your attention.

    Now that I have it (your attention, that is) what will I do with it?

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    1. Victor, now you have my intention, I will spend a minute to think of a cutting reply.

      So whose underpants are they? Obviously not yours as the label says meium size.

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    2. That was a low blow Andrew, made all the worse for being true.

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    3. Never mind Victor. You are still a fine male specimen and it is rather a case of me, the pot, calling the kettle vermilion. (I seem to be able to compose a better comment after pre dinner drinks than at 7.57 am on a working day.

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  4. Mysteriously finding things is soooo much weirder than mysteriously losing them.
    I suspect it would be creeping me out.
    Love that they are the right size though.

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    1. EC, my attitude rather depends on who I imagine wearing them. You are right about things turning up without any obvious explanation, as things do at times.

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  5. Andrew, Fantastic story.

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    1. Pleased you enjoyed it, Gosia.

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  6. Very odd indeed. I have to say, if undies appeared here suddenly, I couldn't possibly wear them as I would be forever wondering whose they had been and how they got to be in my home.

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    1. River, slightly icky perhaps, but I am ok about wearing them if I wash them.....I think.

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  7. I lose undies and socks all the time but never found a pair that no one claims, what have you been up to.
    Merle...............

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    1. Merle, whatever are suggesting? Actually I am surprised it has taken this long for that possibility arising. I am not going to be making accusations......he who lives in glasshouses.....

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  8. That was my answer to your cute doctor/nurse question. =) There was one.. just one... and he had a great (slightly twisted) sense of humour.

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    1. Haha Jac. I am amused.

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  9. I can't imagine wearing mens underwear at all, well for me anyway.
    How they got there? A fairy of course....seriously, changed drawers, underpants were in the drawer 'hidden' forgotten about, they must be R's from years ago..if not, someone in is trouble :)

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    1. Margaret, tell me this. If they are really old, won't the elastic be ruined once they are washed?

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    2. Not necessary would the elastic be ruined if old. The undies may not have been warn and washed a lot..

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    3. They have now been washed and dried and the elastic is sound. It is going to be really weird to put them on now, remembering everyone's comments here.

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  10. Replies
    1. Diane, I'd be please if it was. There would be a spark in the old boy. But really, you wouldn't leave your lover's underwear on your partner's bed.

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  11. I am not sure about undies, but whenever my beloved comes home with something that wasn't his, it is almost always a mistake made at gym or at golf. If I believe him, the men apparently throw stuff around the changing rooms, a bit carelessly if you ask me.

    One day he came home with one of those ridiculous caps that middle aged American men wear to baseball matches!! I said "HOW CAN YOU WEAR THAT INSANE CAP"? He said the day was boiling hot and he didn't want to get sun burn on the top of his forehead.

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    1. Hels, the changing room thing sounds yuck.

      That is a fair enough about the baseball cap, says he who suffers from sun damaged skin.

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  12. My money is on the furniture delivery man. He probably became a bit too warm with all that exertion and decided that an hour of "commando" was just the ticket. What a sad little vivid imagination I have. But it gets me through the day.

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    1. Craig, you are working on my level. When I am bored at work, I start thinking about workmates and what I might like to do with them, or quelle horreur, what they might do to me.

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  13. Intriguing mystery. I only wear black Bonds boxer briefs so there can never be any mix up with Nathan's more diverse collection.

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    1. Confirmed then Ad Rad, you are not rooting my boyfriend.

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  14. I think they came IN your new furniture for unknown reason. Or static cling to the dog things, or static clung to something you were carrying through a store or on the street, that brushed against them, as they static clung to something else, but your static cling was stronger, so they clung to something you had and in they came, unnoticed except by people smirking as you passed, because they were stuck to your back. Or not.

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    1. Very amusing Strayer, and it is possible. I once set off for work and in the lift to the garage, I found that a tea towel had attached itself to the velcro on my work bag.

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  15. Laughing :) beware! You may take on the persona of the mysterious owner of the jocks :) Quite often when I separate the washing a pair of my lacy undies end up in P's pile, he returns them with the comment "no matter how much you want me to I'm not wearing your knickers".. Spoilsport :)

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    1. Very amusing Grace. I reckon you might like to see him in your underwear.

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