Saturday, November 14, 2015

Here we go again

We were out for dinner in the salubrious suburb of South Caulfield with two friends and the Brother Friends. The formerly unwell Brother Friend has made a good recovery. Just as dinner was served, something happened in front of my eyes but I did not really see what happened, although I saw what happened. It was like two pieces of flint hitting each other with great force. R had words with the other Brother Friend, stood up and said he was leaving and was I coming? I said no, I am having my meal. He said, I will wait for you. I said no, take the car home.  I'll get the tram home. He left. The situation as we ate our meals was tense, with all being falsely jolly. After I finished my meal I checked my phone and R had texted that he was waiting for me in the carpark, having moved the car from the street. I apologised for my early departure from dinner and joined R in the car and on the way home said nothing but idle words.

I was in a bit of shock. The same has happened between them in the past, with R once before walking out of a restaurant, but this time it happened if front of my eyes and I am not sure what I saw except sparks flying and an explosion.

A week or so later, we had a catch up for a friend's birthday at another venue. R sat at one end of the table and the Brother Friends at the opposite end.

Sometimes I am envious of people who care enough to take offence and strongly react.  It's just not me.

Just to update, the Brother Friends have been kicked out of their accommodation. After selling their house they rented, paying about $550 per week in Canterbury. The owner wanted the place back. They are paying about the same for the new place they have moved into, in Mont Albert and they are now private renters in a retirement complex.

24 comments:

  1. That must have been some moment. Greetings to you and nice weekend!

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    1. Rather was, Blogoratti. Thank you.

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  2. I can say interesating situation

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    1. Gosia, interesting is a good word and can be a curse at times.

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  3. Conflict in public is a very difficult situation. Find it difficult to believe that R would be the cause of any conflict and very caring of him to wait there for you. Hope he recovers from that nasty chest infection soon.

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    1. Marie, they have such a history of enmity and a tiny spark can set things off. He is managing to cope by just doing things more slowly and resting often.

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  4. Oh dear, what an awkward situation to find yourself in, in public. I commend your ability to empathise with R's perspective.

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    1. Carol, if you asked R, he would say I am not empathic. They behave like children at times.

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  5. Ack. Awkward in the extreme.
    I am impressed that you could stay without it causing ructions. And also impressed that R waited for you.
    I hope his health improves quickly.

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    1. EC, it was a risk I took by staying to eat my meal. I don't want to play games like that and to be honest I was cross at them for spoiling the evening.

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  6. Probably everyone has at least one person who makes them sick to the stomach, just by being in the same room. So the smart move would be to check who is going to be at the dinner and if the Nasty One is going to be at there, simply decline graciously.

    One hideous woman tried to hurt my late mother. If I saw that creature at a dinner party, I would take her eyes out with a fork. I think R was very restrained.

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    1. Hels, very difficult as we have common friends. They for a time will sit at opposite ends of tables or across the room. Yes, attacking members of your family is a serious matter indeed.

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  7. Oooo! Not a pleasant situation to be in.....guess you did find out the reasn R left..

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    1. Margaret, trivial, of course. The Brothers are afraid of heights and R said something they didn't like. Clearly a sore point.

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  8. Awkward but you handled it like a champ. Don't envy those who exhibit their emotions more easily; like everything, there's a price to pay for it.

    Me? I cry at the drop of a hat... if I'm happy, if I'm sad, if something has touched me. The price? I can't sit down to have a serious talk, not bad - just serious, without the tears coming. I really rather hate that, but have learned to deal with it.

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    1. Jac, I too cry easily, but not really during real life events. News stories really get me and tear welled as I wrote the subsequent post. It is good that some people are emotional and some not so emotional, but then some are and don't exhibit it much.

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  9. A bit intemperate of R to ask if you were coming in front of the company like that. It comes close to being a public loyalty test and must also have made things unpleasant for those present apart from the BFs.

    Maybe in future you need to have an arrangement about what to do if there is a blow-up. If you are going to continue to see the BFs in the company of mutual friends there is nothing wrong with agreeing beforehand that if he wants to leave you will make your own way home (especially if he is the designated driver) or whatever other arrangement you might want to make.

    Then again, the likelihood of mutual friends arranging such an occasion is likely to decrease after this incident, I would think.

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    1. Marcellous, it was intemperate and R did not have his emotions under control, as the BF did not, and I am mildly accused of not being supportive enough by R. Yes, it did make things unpleasant for all. The BF have been verbally and non confrontationally nasty to me in the past, but it kind of goes over my head. Really? I am supposed to feel insulted, hurt or what? I just don't care. There are people in my life who I really care about and things that they could do that would hurt badly. We've known the BF for nearly 35 years. There has been good times and not so good times.

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  10. I hope R wasn't upset that you chose to have your meal instead of storming off with him.

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    1. Ad Rad, I think it was an admission that he might have over reacted. Both parties were wrong. There was no need for it all. I would not have been troubled had he not waited but I did not want to discuss it as I knew where it would lead. That is me supporting them and not R. I know what the BF are like. I accept them for what they are, not faithful true friends.

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  11. That tense, false jolliness would have had me sweating like a pig on a spit. I HATE awkward situations like that.
    I'm rather pleased that R waited for you in the carpark though.

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    1. River, that is exactly what I was doing. Sweating like a pig wondering why I was in such a situation. I have my own way of dealing with people who offend me, but it is much more subtle and not confrontational.

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  12. ooh you did very well staying. I hate situations such as these, don't like confrontations one bit.

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    1. Had I have walked Fen, there would be little chance of any recovery ever.

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