Wednesday, June 03, 2015

Men and the lavvy

We have a friend who occasionally visits and invariably needs to use the toilet. His personal habits leave a lot to be desired, such as once borrowing R's glasses and using the arm of the said glasses to clean out his ears. Another time we observed him scratching his head and dandruff falling into food we were about to eat. No thanks, I am not hungry.  Yet another time is was quite clear that he had had done a number 2 in the toilet bowl. The single flush was insufficient to clear the evidence on the side of the bowl.

His two last visits have left the toilet floor very wet. After his last visit, R stormed out of his toilet and said, "He 'expletive deleted' pissed all over the floor again. Was he not aware of what he had done and so did not attempt to clean it up with toilet paper? After a drink or two, the male aim can become very poor, but he does not drink at all.  He can't see well? Maybe.

Meanwhile our Brother Friends have decided that sitting down to urinate in their advanced years is a better way to go. They are a bit precious and fastidious at times. Invariably things will go wrong at times for men when they stand and urinate, but they really need to take responsibility. Some really just don't seem to care. I would like to think that gay men are more careful but the aforesaid person is gay.

This photo is not an Australian style toilet but close enough. Again our friend has one of these toilet mats at home. Mats like this are disgusting, as you can imagine what might be absorbed by them. I would never countenance having one, but if you do, I hope you wash it every second day at least.


46 comments:

  1. Andrew, maybe your friend doesn't see properly or he is a messy man. But is not nice and comfortable situation for you

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  2. " using the arm of the said glasses to clean out his ears. "
    What is he? An animal?

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    1. In some ways he is John.

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  3. Ack.
    And no, splash mats are never a good thing.
    One of my friends had a slow leak in her toilet. Every morning there was a bit of moistness around the base.
    On her day off she called the plumber. To discover the slow leak was her (male) partner. And the plumber told her that most of the slow leaks he was called out to fell into that category...

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    1. EC, that is interesting. How come some can correctly aim and some not.

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  4. I used to have a mat like that and got fed up with the constant washing, so I threw it away. 40 years ago now. Men who make a mess like that should be made to go back in there and clean it up. If the friend is still in your apartment when the mess is noticed, you need to say something and request that he go back in and clean up. I always made sure my sons left the toilet clean and my daughter did too, with her son. While he was small, a spray bottle of cleaner was left in there and if he missed and wet the floor, or the toilet rim, he was expected to clean it up with spray and toilet paper. My second hubby was a messy pee-er and would sit instead after I convinced him that no one would ever know, how could they? He thought sitting wasn't manly, so I suggested he take over the toilet cleaning routine. He sat.
    My first husband sat when he was too drunk to stand and often fell asleep there.
    Really, it is the responsibility of the toilet trainer to ensure young boys know how to do this properly. Habits learned early tend to last a lifetime.

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    1. Sorry River, missed your comment. Better late than not at all. Sorry, but it is a too difficult subject to broach. I don't recall this ever happening before his last two visits, so I reckon there maybe something not right. Lovely work with you second husband.

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  5. Your friends habits are gross. I felt off just reading about them.

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    1. I agree Victor. He must have lacked something in his upbringing, I think.

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  6. Sounds like a Big Bang episode.

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    1. Susie, while we do get the show here, I have not watched it but I can imagine.

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  7. OOh those mats are an english thing - my mother had one and I always moved it to one side when I used her loo. It's to keep my feet warm she would say lol
    Too many 'boys' in my house to even think about having one. One year we did see a 'thing' you could buy and put on the floor of the toilet bowl to train little boys to aim properly - their dad did a good job with training in that dept. so never needed it, I often wondered how many germs would lurk underneath it.

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    1. Cathy, I think you are correct. I seem to remember seeing many of them there. Training hey. I would have thought it was quite instinctive but I can imagine some steering would be helpful.

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  8. As long as everyone sits to pee, and the lid of the toilet is DOWN when it is flushed, those mats really don't see a lot of germs. :)

    The very worst thing people can do in a toilet, in my opinion, is flushing with the lid open, especially in a room which contains other items, like an ensuite with your toothbrush.

    We have one friend who always leaves the lid up. He visited here while we were overseas and left the lid up, which I am convinced is the reason I spent way too much money. It is a feng shui thing. :) I tried to tell him the lid must stay down, but he cannot be taught this thing. I am thinking a sign right above the flush button might be something that would work.. but he just really isn't going to change his long term habit.

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    1. Snoskred, I only heard about the closing of the lid before flushing. We always close the lid anyway. A sign would work for someone trying to change the habits of a life time. I've had a soft closing lid and seat for less than a year and if I ever use R's toilet, I forget and bang the seat and lid down.

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  9. My mat goes in the washing machine and doesn't go right to the toilet bowl as the beer fairy is a bit of a wild splasher too but does clean the seat if it get wet.
    Merle........

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    1. Merle, reminds of Dutch friends of my parents who had a sign in Dutch on their toilet, translated, Gentlemen lift the seat so ladies can sit dry.

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    2. My mum had a sign that read;
      'my aim is to keep this toilet clean, your aim will help'
      hung in the toilet block of the men's camp, where she used to work providing lunches for about 50-100 men working on the pipeline where my brother got his first job. When the camp moved on, mum was out of a job, but my brother moved with them.

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  10. I did so laugh regarding the glasses, and I thought, I have heard everything now :. Oh dear, men and the loo, women are sometimes not so good either from observation...
    Never have I had a mat, like you I feel the same. I do like a clean sparkling toilet.

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    1. WA, I expect he does that with his own glasses and just forgot they weren't his. Pretty horrible really. I am not educated enough about female anatomy to comment on girl habits.

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  11. I'm in the middle of splash training C... I think after 38 years we're about half way through the training. It's a fine line between words of encouragement for better aim and nagging. A line I cross every now and again. Did you see the link to the "The Infernal Galop" I left for you on your comment to my Victorian toilets post?

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    1. Craig, I smartened up somebody's habits I was not keen on very smartly many years ago. Rule 1. Either underwear or dry, preferably both. The older people get, the worse things seem to become. Good luck with training C, but if he is not properly yet??? I didn't see that link. Can't see it now. On the post Superior Urination? I have probably missed something very obvious. I was amused by the banter between you and Grace.

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    2. Here is the link...
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrrfRLV4VfI
      If you're familiar with it then apologies for the repeat. It's a short Matthew Bourne ballet, set in a French pissoir. It's all a bit naughty and delicious!

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    3. I began the video. No, I haven't seen it. I realised I have another of yours to watch too. I can only watch in the daytime when home alone at the desktop. Tomorrow I have a day on my own when I can watch You Tube and 'other' videos.

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  12. Blech. Blech. Blech. That friend would very quickly have become a lesser acquaintance.

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    1. Mitchell, we have know him twenty five years and he is a good friend in many ways. I am not going to dismiss him because he suddenly had a couple of accidents in the toilet at the age of mid seventies. As for the other stuff, at least he doesn't eat his own ear wax, unlike one of former Prime Ministers.

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    2. I didn't know the history or, especially, that these behaviours were a new development. That makes a huge difference. I'd put up with it, too. Except for eating his own ear wax... One of your former Prime Ministers actually did that? That gets four blechs!

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    3. Mitchell, I probably should have added a bit more information to the post.

      Apparently former PM Kevin Rudd eating his own ear wax was filmed when he was in the US. I don't care to look, but I am sure it is on You Tube.

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  13. No, no, nope! I have 5 brothers....... a splash mat has never gained entrance to my home, and it never will! A friend like that would be cordially (un)invited to my home, I fear.
    Thankfully, the Great Scot is as fastidious as a cat.

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    1. Good to hear about GS Jac. I would expect no less from you and anyone associated with you.

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  14. I don't piddle on my floor, so my mat isn't that bad. Besides it keeps my feet warm when I get up in the night!!

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    1. Fen, in spite of what White Angel said, how would women piddle on the floor. No, rhetorical. I don't want to know really. Your feet warming mat is acceptable.

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    2. That is until a bloke visits you.

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  15. Couples end up in the divorce court about money, sex, in laws, child care etc etc but I reckon the real reason is bathroom hygiene. Why do some men, in particular, act like your grotty friend?

    Speak to him asap.

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    1. Hels, I really wish I knew why some men are like that. More mysterious than why trucks try to go under bridges too low for the truck height and people stop their cars over the top of a keep clear road marking.

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  16. Your post makes me want to vomit. The glasses arm stuck into his ear, the dandruff in the food but the toilet is disgusting and I would ban him from its use until he learns aim and manners, or sits down.

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    1. Strayer, if I give you his email address, can you tell him please?

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  17. Sadly, too many people still believe in the cleaning fairy. Especially if they're in someone else's home - or a caravan park!!! If it's becoming a habit, I'd leave cleaning stuff in an obvious place in the loo, then next time he wants to use it, tell him you've had to sack the cleaner and would he mind giving everything a quick wipe down when he's finished? Might work :D

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  18. Red, I can imagine how problematic things might be in a caravan park. Your suggestions are not bad, but I expect as he is here infrequently, R will just clean up after him. I really don't think he is aware of what he does in the lav.

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  19. I love stopping by here, you just never know what to expect :) A friend had a sign up on the appropriate wall, ie stand up facing wall, that says 'we aim to please you aim too please'! OMG there's a perverse part of me that wants to look to see if there IS a YouTube video of Kevin Rudd eating his own ear wax... STOP Grace!!!

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    1. Grace, I think signs like that will prompt men to be more careful. I am sure the KRudd video is on YT.

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  20. A little old lady on a bus gave my mother some sage advice, if one ever takes up with an older man, check the toilet floor. If there are drops then he could have prostate problems and one doesn't want to end up as a nurse not a partner. My personal opinion is that it's not the stream, it's the drip at the end.

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    1. Wise advise Jah Teh, but surely check his bank balance first. Drops are forgivable. A wet floor is not.

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  21. JahTeh could be right. Then again, if he is mid 70s as you've said, perhaps he has Parkinsons and can't hold it steady anymore.

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    1. River, I suspect it is laziness and lack of care when someone gets older.

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