Friday, June 12, 2015

About who?

Inspired by a post by John Gray of Wales.

Let me be self critical. I often am.

Well, that is how the post began went nowhere. I have deleted the nonsense I subsequently wrote and you should be grateful.

Indulge me in a brief moment of introspection.

In my life I have always made an effort to 'fit'. Not that much effort really, but a little effort. Yet, I don't think I have ever fitted anywhere. While I do a working class job, I don't feel part of what I do. I go through the motions for the income. While I consider my job is important and I think I do it well, at every step of the way bosses and authorities block what I do to the point where I don't think I can do what I do for much longer. The people I work with are mostly wonderful, but I don't fit with them. I tried in the past being social with some of the ones I really liked but I and my life did not fit with theirs. It is not that they are not accepting of a gay couple but there was a lack of anything in common apart from work.

I am certainly not part of Melbourne's middle class, to be found in our better suburbs, yet I come from landed families of early settlers of Brighton, Bentleigh and Oakleigh.

41 comments:

  1. Andrew definiely I don't have friends at my work because I am different from them. Diffeent passion hobby , angle of life and so on but I am lucky

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    1. That is interesting Gosia.

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  2. I think retirement, or a change of career, beckons Andrew.

    It was in my early fifties and with 35 plus years at the same organisation (albeit in different roles over the years) that I started to feel out of place and in need of something different. My father's sudden death then forced my hand and I left.

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    1. Victor, I am allergic to washing dishes, and that's about the only job I could get. Retirement, love to. Perhaps being an older person in a workplace is not the best position to be in.

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    2. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you probably couldn't get a job washing dishes, for the same reason I couldn't. Everywhere has automatic dishwasher machines now. :(

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    3. River, I am really skilled at loading a dishwasher, so maybe there is hope.

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    4. You guys are very funny, even though it's not a funny issue. If you're over 50 it's like you become invisible and "go away", and roll eyes and shake head if you persist in trying to be a non ghost.

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    5. Strayer, becoming invisible is a certain thing gay men have in common with straight women. Once over a certain......although I think the age is younger for gay men.

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  3. I don't consider this a rant Andrew ~ you are being far too critical of yourself. Fortunately there is this parallel world of Blogging where we all fit.

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    1. Carol, given how close to being perfect I am, I thought I did quite well to be so critical. I agree about the world of blogging.

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  4. Sounds like you're in need of a change.

    Having said that, fitting in is over-rated (or is that sour grapes on my part? lol). I've certainly not experienced fitting in... not in my family, who are mostly extremely conservative with a jaundiced view of things like education, change, equal rights, etc... The reason most of them read my blog is to try to get fair warning about what I might be up to next.
    Most people in the area are quite like my family: God, guns, and the flag! It would be far lonelier, in my opinion, to try stuffing my round self in a square hole, and the fake would show... I have no poker face!

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    1. Jac, I don't like change and rarely instigate it. I just go along with it if it happens. Extreme laziness? Yes, you are really are the round peg, which is why we all like you.

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    2. That was an 'aaawww' moment, thank you. Next time I feel the need for a name change on the blog, it may well end up being 'Round Peg'.
      Good pirate name as well! ;-)

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    3. A lot not said Jac.

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  5. Carol is right. My non fitting self has found a home in the blogosphere. Yet another reason to be grateful I discovered it.

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    1. EC, and I generally find fellow bloggers are so nice too.

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  6. Do we have to fit, we are all that little bit different, we get ideas and ways of looking at things that we wouldn't think of by ourselves and sometime we come up with something great.
    The blog is like a chat with the neighbours but we only have to expose what we want to, no face to face contact that is the hard part sometimes, I'm doing a bit of rambling too.
    Merle....................

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    1. Nicely put Merle, a chat with neighbours where we usually put on our best face.

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    2. O course not... people do not have to fit in, socially religiously or according to sexual preferences.

      But we work for 8.5 hours a day, so it is going to be a long day restricting your conversations at work to "How bout those mighty Demons over the weekend".

      There will always be differences in values and styles at work, but basically a happy worker is a productive worker. That makes sense for the management and even more sense for the worker.

      For myself the most important values in a community are protecting women's rights and protecting reproductuve rights, including contraception, abortion and sterilisation. It I had to work in an anti-woman environment, I would leave before lunchtime on the first day.

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    3. Hels, some of my best world education has come from talking to foreign born workmates. They don't talk of stuff you learn from media, but a biased truth. So if what you say is true, how come the European multinational I work for does not know this about how to treat workers?

      Most big work places are now pretty right on with women's issues, smaller ones, possibly not so much. Feel for the lass who answers the phone at the local concrete company.

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  7. Andrew
    Can i ask just what inspired you?

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    1. A post of yours John where you were being self critical I think, about two or more months ago. Sorry I did not save a link as I would like to reread it.

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  8. Fitting in is for the young Andrew. We are what we are we like what we like. I've always been the 'outsider - older younger had more children read different books travelled more liked different music quieter (thought different because I had Irish parents at one time) even knew more about my job than my 'boss' at one time so definitely didn't fit in where she was concerned.
    Have a good think while you are away - as Merle said, do we have to fit? If all else fails, try being a dishwasher - be the best one the company has ever had. If that doesn't work take early retirement and wash dishes at home lol
    Cathy

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    1. Cathy, do I detect a similar vein among my blog mates? Depending where exactly your parents came from in Ireland, and I can guess where they did not live, I understand about your slant on life. No we don't have to fit. Merle is right. I am quite happy as I am.

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  9. You fit with all of us other people who don't fit.

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    1. Dina, it is so funny that we blog people don't seem to fit into the normal. It is something I have noticed, along with many blog mates being ex or existing school teachers.

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  10. Apart from a couple of points, you've just described me :)

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    1. Floating souls we are River, floating souls.

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  11. It's interesting and quite difficult to self assess I think. In my case, I think that I choose not to fit in. I don't make friends easily and value time alone or with C above all else. I think that perhaps others would call that selfish.
    Either way, you being you isn't about fitting in, it's about living your own life as you see it.

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    1. Craig, just as I am. It is my choice in many ways. I am happiest on my own or with R. In a way I, and perhaps you, live quite selfish lives.

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  12. I have never tried to "fit" into anything. I have always been the rebel ! Take me as I am or leave me that's the same. I select my real friends very carefully. With others I keep my distance. I am friendly and polite, unless somebody steps on my feet !

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    1. Yes Gattina, I can well imagine you are as you are and in your senior years, still so and still challenging. Mr G has never said you are boring, has he.

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  13. Well Andrew, people have to fit in with you!

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  14. True Margaret. The world has to change to fit with me.

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  15. From what we write on our blogs, we appear to be very different types of personalities. And I like that. Even with our different way of looking at things, I've never ever felt like I fit either. I wonder how many people feel that.

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    1. We probably are quite different Mitchell. We are happy and well adjust misfits.

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  16. I don't really fit, doesn't bother me much these days

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    1. Fen, it is remarkable how many bloggers don't seem to fit.

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  17. Happy and well adjusted misfits.. I like that!

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