Friday, May 29, 2015

Mother Day

Mother had asked me to attend to her five lamp lounge room light fitting and her roses. Only two lamps were working and the roses, mostly root stock, had gone crazy. Can you do this before you go away Andrew? Oh, but when. If I go to Mother's I need two days off work. One day to do what I have to do and another to recover. It happened that this week my days off were Thursday and Friday. Ok, I am up for it.

R normally takes Mother out on Thursday. He used to arrive home very stressed, by Mother's behaviour and getting caught in heavy traffic. While Mother can be very determined and manipulating, she did realise that 'I can't be ready before before 12' was not sustainable if she wanted R to continue to take her out. R now goes at 10.00, arrives at 11.00 and out they go by 11.20 for lunch and shopping. He firmly leaves at 3.00 and does not get caught in traffic.

On this Thursday I went too. In the meantime ABI Brother had called to say his computer anti virus had expired and he was now required to pay. Ok, we will go extra early to Mother's and go to ABI Brother's first and fix his computer.

We were off at 9.30 and by 10.30 we were watching a huge gum tree opposite ABI Brother's house being cut down and chipped. ABI's computer is pathetically slow and I don't know why. It is our old computer. Only two USB ports? Only one works. Oh yes, I remember now. We bought a multiple USB to plug into the sole working USB port. My cunning plan of putting the AVG anti virus on a stick in advance to install was foiled. I uninstalled Kapersky and downloaded AVG, then left it to update. ABI Brother also asked if we could check if his mobile phone was internet abled. Given it is my old phone, I should have known but I couldn't remember. Yes it is. It was such hard work to tap an icon that said internet and it worked.

Knock, knock at Mother's door. She was almost ready to go out, dressed and made up and already to launch into her tales of woe is me. I am in pain. I can't cope. I might be dead by this time next year. I just need someone to be here with me. (ABI Brother does stay there on Friday and Saturday nights). I pre-empted her by immediately telling her about the tree at  ABI Brother's that had been cut down. I went to the toilet and left R to hear her tales of her woe. And then there was the usual public exposure of her putting her hosiery and shoes on.

We had a nice lunch at a local cafe and I returned to Mother's to prune her roses while R went from shop to shop with Mother. I beat the roses but not unscathed. Andrew total victory, but roses did inflict serious war wounds but the blood loss wasn't excessive enough to cause a faint. However, unused to such physicality, I did fell a little queer (settle). I called R to ask him to buy me a cake. Thanks, a lamington will do nicely for afternoon tea. Not such an onerous day really apart from bloodied hands.

Tomorrow R will be off in the morning for his volunteer work and I will stay at home with only my internet friends as company. In the afternoon we will visit our travel agent to collect our travel package and details and at night we will join our Dyke Friend and her ex for dinner at a Turkish restaurant. Must remember to not eat too much.


30 comments:

  1. Andrew, it will be nice you stay with me. Tomorrow in the morning at school then on the way to the mountains and Cracow..

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    1. How nice Gosia. Your two forthcoming trips will be great.

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    2. My brother is in Krakow right now I think.

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    3. River, I did once check that it is the same place, just spelt differently.

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  2. Hilarious! I almost felt like I was there with you but I'm glad that I'm not. One mother is enough. I totally get the roses. Evil bastards. We have 24 in our rose garden and I'm surprised that I have any blood left!

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    1. Craig, your mother seems to strive for independence. Mine strives for dependence. I have an angry looking red thumb this morning. Either rose sap got in or a thorn broke off and is still there.

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  3. My mother lives in Florida, a drive of 2 1/2 days from here. All that space makes a wonderful buffer. Is that unkind of me?
    We will be going there for Thanksgiving (in November) for three days; it will be wonderful to see them, and just as wonderful to leave for a wander back home; stopping to see various sights the Great Scot hasn't had the opportunity to encounter.
    I will be required, whilst there, to help Mom plan her flower garden, and offer her advice... all of which will be ignored. She'd be horrified if we actually planted something for her which she would then have to tend, lol.
    I can certainly empathise with the determined and manipulative; it sounds as though our mothers are much of a muchness... and damn those roses!
    Just in case I hadn't put it in words yet... I look forward to your posts every day, as well as your comments; you make me think, laugh, and occasionally pull my head out of my bum. I've become really quite so ever fond of you.

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    1. Jac, that is a decent buffer. Sometime the hour drive to Mother's is so tedious, I wished she live closer and I could just pop in for five minutes more often instead of losing the whole day. Terrific idea to take a slow trip home. Mother and daughter planning a garden.... It would not work with my sister and mother, that is for sure.

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I do like it when I come across gems, such as yourself, in the blogosphere.

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  4. Mother memories. Rather a lot of mother memories. Goodness mine was skilled at finding and jumping on all of my buttons.
    Yay for Turkish food - one of my favourites, and a bigger yay for your holiday rapidly approaching.

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    1. EC, your mother sounded worse than mine. R is the only one has buttons Mother can push. The rest of us generally don't take too much notice. This Turkish place will not be a great place for vegetarians.

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  5. You have me smiling. I wonder what my sons will say about me when i get older :)
    The elderly can be so trying at times but I'm sure that your mum appreciates what you both do for her.
    Roses are beautful however a pain to prune, the blood you shed is worth it and no blood transfusion required it seems.
    Enjoy you day off.

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    1. WA, only nice things, I am sure, will be said about you, unless you get cranky when you get old. When people generally find out about your blog, they will be impressed by what an interesting person you are.

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  6. Thinking EC's mother must have been my mother's twin. Even after marriage she still found my buttons to push!!
    It is reassuring tho' that there are still some sons who are willing to help their mother's journey through their later years. I love my sons but wonder if the time comes would they be there or would they leave it all up to their sisters Still we'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it
    Did my roses last week - and llike you have the scars to prove it lol
    Cathy

    Cathy @ Still Waters


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    1. Cathy, isn't it usually the mother in law that is problematic after you are married. My sister spends the least time with Mother as she lives the furtherest away, but she makes up for it with cash, I think, so Mother doesn't complain too much. Parental care often does fall to the daughters and probably for good reasons, but sons can help by being supportive of their sisters.

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  7. It is terrible when one elderly parent is more demanding, more unjust, more critical than the other. I adored my mother and cannot get through each day, now that she has gone. But dad is a misery and I have to take a relaxatab before each visit.

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    1. Hels, you both have a right to be grieving. It must be especially hard for your father after losing his life companion. I don't really want to think about it. Head in the sand is me.

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  8. Pruning the roses at my parents' place in Canberra was one of my winter chores. I didn't mind doing it but I hated picking up the pruned bits and pieces because that was when I was most likely to get pricked.

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    1. Ad Rad, a little prick is not so bad but when you cop a big prick, it can be quite painful. (Well, someone would have done it sooner or later. I may as well be me)

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  9. You forgot to take along your leather, elbow length, rose pruning gloves didn't you? tsk tsk.
    I like reading about your mother, I gather tips on what not to do. No 'woe is me' tales, always be ready to go well before lunch, hire a gardener for the roses. (*~*)

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    1. River, today the hands are suffering a bit. Next year I will assuredly wear gloves, even though it will take longer.

      Mother is probably not as bad as I paint her........yes she is. She is careful not to moan in front of her grandchildren, which I am very pleased about. They have great child hood memories of fun with Mother and late Step Father. Rose pruning is not a job for me, paid or unpaid.

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  10. Hi, Andrew! I was reading RedPat's Occasional Toronto blog and saw you were coming to Toronto for a few days. I also blog about Toronto (and other travels).
    http://junkboattravels.blogspot.ca/

    We were in Melbourne in March and loved it.

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    1. Hi Jackie. You seem rather well travelled from the blog skim I just had. I like to read what outside people think of Melbourne.

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  11. Yup roses are vicious beauties, I guess I'll have to think about pruning mine soon too.. I so enjoy posts starring your Mum Andrew, she is rather lucky to have her family around her, you all are pretty good to her. FIVE lamps in the lounge???

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    1. Grace, of course she is lucky to have us. We should remind her more. Five candle globes in the light fitting.

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  12. Never thought of you as a gardener but well done. I wish someone would prune my roses so I don't need a blood transfusion afterwards. I leave for Canada on Sunday to meet a friend in Edmonton then off to see the Rockies and get in a bit of hiking. Funny that we are both visiting Canada at similar times.

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    1. Fun60, R is fond of saying now, I wish we had a small garden. Hey, I was the one who did all the work in the garden. Go and take a walk in either of the three huge parks nearby. We developed three gardens at three different houses, pretty much from scratch. We dabbled with native Australian plants in the early 80s but found them unsatisfying, so subsequently they were much more English style gardens.

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  13. You are a very good story teller. It all comes through, the tasks and difficulties of them, the frustrations, the work arounds, the anguish of the old and lonely, and it is funny, the way it comes around and works out in the end.

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    1. How kind Strayer. You don't talk about your parents???

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  14. I miss doing the gardening with my Mum.

    You have such patience (or not) with your Mum, reading your words frustrates me at times.

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    1. Fen, at some time in the future she will meet her demise, but it will be no surprise given she is now 82. We will mourn her death, but her her time had come. I feel for you losing your mother when you were relatively young.

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