Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Tech score #1 Mother score #0

Mother likes R's oldest sister. Mother once told R if his sister lived here in Australia, I think we would be friends. R's sister is very experienced in the care of old people. She knows all the right things to say and in a very natural manner. Mother wrote a lengthy letter to R's sister and included it with a Christmas card and R's sister wrote back to Mother. Goodness knows what was in the letter, but as Mother said, she lost it.

Mother often 'loses' things that may be inconvenient to her purposes.

Remember the week before Christmas when we wasted a whole day taking Mother to the local hospital for unnecessary tests, and the diagnosis was essentially, stress and anxiety? Not that these are minor matters, but in her case, they are.

R was and is mega annoyed with Mother and is on a path to treat her as we her children do, that is not putting up with her silliness and limiting her manipulation. With much glee this evening after R had taken Mother out today, Thursday, including a doctor's appointment, he told me that Mother told her doctor she had lost the letter from the hospital that she was supposed to give to him. Mother is clever in some ways. She has been known to steam open a doctor's letter and to study a specialist's file about herself when they was out of the room.

But the system beat her this time. Her doctor said, no problem Mrs C, they emailed the letter to me anyway. Yes!!! (I do now get how people punch the air) How we laughed.

After I had written the above, Mother convinced at least two of her gullible children to stump up for a visit to a gereantologist (that is the the best I can do to spell the word). Mother did not like the letter her doctor gave to her to give the aforementioned 'g' person and asked him to change it. He said, too late Mrs C, I have emailed it to her already.

Technology is beating Mother's life long manipulation of matters.

30 comments:

  1. Andrew,you mum is nice woman but very manipulative. But I like her lovely old lady

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    1. Gosia, she is very charming with everybody, even us children mostly.

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  2. In her final years as an Alzheimers sufferer, my mother generally was incapable of duplicitous behaviour except in one respect. The nursing home was concerned that she might be robbed as she was telling others she had hundreds of dollars in her purse. I knew she had no money but in order to minimise the chance of someone attacking her for the purse, I quietly removed it from her possession when she was distracted. When I looked inside the purse I found, as expected, no money but what was there was the medication which the nurses thought they had observed her to swallow but which she surreptitiously slipped into the purse.

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    1. Interesting Victor. Good idea to remove her purse if there were others around he with dementia. Acquisitiveness can be strong in older people.

      I assume your father did not suffer from dementia, so hopefully you are safe.

      I assume your father did not suffer from dementia, so hopefully you are safe.

      I assume your father did not suffer from dementia, so hopefully you are safe.

      Sorry, bad taste.

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  3. My mother was the manipulation queen. And how I wish that I could have seen her reaction if 'inconvenient truths' were emailed... Definitely air punching material.

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    1. EC, yes, it really does amuse me. Don't worry, she will come up with a cunning plan to circumvent this technology.

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  4. Andrew, your mother sounds like a scream :)
    Older citizens, well some of them can be so manipulative, cunning etc. Yes, technology has beaten her in reading the referrals/letters. My late dad had me taking him to the Dr. about every week in the past year and a half, but he wasn't very manipulative because I came down on him when he first started, so he knew better to continue. We got on fine till he passed on last year.

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    1. WA, she can still make us kids laugh a lot, if only she shuts up about her non life threatening old age issues.

      Mother often sees the doctor twice a week. While he must dread her visits, he makes a nice bit of money from her. Just curious, ok nosey, you have brothers/sisters who shared the care for your father?

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    2. Andrew, I am the only child, not that I am a child now ;) I did everything for my late dad who lived in another city just over 100km away. I went there every week, never missed, sometimes 2 to 3 times a week. Sometimes I stayed at his house, I did stay for 2 night every week for about 3 years after my mother passed on. All this enabled my legally blind dad to live at his home till one month before he died. I enjoyed what I did, and would do it again.

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    3. Nice to hear WA. It is a great thing if someone can stay in their home to almost the end. Mind, my step mother nursed my father as he was dying of cancer at home and unknown to us at the time, it took a terrible toll on her.

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  5. NOTHING defeats a true Master of Manipulation. People actually get better at it... with age!

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    1. Hels, sounds like you have some experience.

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  6. I'm ignoring my mother and she hasn't noticed. She's still trying to manipulate but after the last brush with death, her heart isn't in it.

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    1. Jah Teh, she will notice you ignoring her when she wants something from her 'useless' daughter.

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  7. Is there a such thing as a non-manipulative mother?? LOL

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    1. Maybe Keith, but clearly not yours.

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  8. Some old people become real specialists in manipulating their children, I see it here around me with my friend's mothers ! My father had always been a manipulator so when he was old I was used to it and knew how to handle him. It's not easy for the children !

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    1. Gattina, I find it hard to imagine anyone manipulating you.

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  9. Ha ha, technology has caught her! I don't think she'll be able to find a way around the email issue, unless she suddenly becomes a master hacker. she could try telling the doctor different things, but he knows her well by now, so he will still type what he knows the next specialist should know.
    I'm glad neither of my parents was manipulative, mum was the "walk in and take over" type, telling us how we should be doing things, but we'd tell her we preferred our own method, make her a cup of coffee and she was okay with that.

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    1. River, from what Bone Doctor tells us, the medical profession is very up to speed with people like Mother. I shouldn't say it, but Sister can be a little manipulative but she sure is a walk in and take over person.

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  10. The older we get the better we get well we think so maybe not any one else.
    Merle..........

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    1. Merle, are you honing the skill? Haha.

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  11. Oh, that is so funny! Ha!

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    1. We thought so Strayer.

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  12. oh I love it and Victor's pill-stasher mum too. R is wonderful to do the quack run pls give him my regards.

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    1. Dun worry Ann. R really likes you. It is just me he has issues with.

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  13. Haha! Aimee says I "guilt' her into doing things.. of course that's not true :) Ah! Mum's, we wouldn't be here without them :)

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    1. Yep Grace, I try to think about my mum in a charitable way, but it is hard at times.

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  14. Ha ha oh your poor mother ;)

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    1. Fen, give her a inch and she will take a mile.

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