What did you say? They will get cross as patch and retaliate? How so? Their brothers and sisters in Australia will blow things up here? I am alert and terribly alarmed. What will they blow up? Important things, maybe even people. Oh dear, I see.
So what is the government doing to protect us from these retaliations? What? They can't really do anything because it is impossible to protect everything and everyone from someone who is very determined. But I am afraid I might get blown up. The government must do something.
Right, they are doing what they did last time by distracting us. How do they do this? Ok, let rubbish pile up at railway stations because they have removed rubbish bins where a bomb might be planted. Yes, that would distract me. I'd immediately be on to the train people about the rubbish. And will they have 83 year old Aunty Ethel from Edithvale tested for traces of explosives at the airport? Yes, quite so, you never know what could be in tube of denture adhesive. I feel a little reassured already. What else? The usual queuing thing. Yes, this is good. It amazing what people will tolerate if they think it will make them safe. So, I assume this is at sporting events and concerts? Good, very good. That really swings their mind when they hear others say, I don't mind the inconvenience if we are made to be safe.
So this will all pass in time and we can get back our normal trusting and caring society? Oh, only for a while and then it will all begin again. Ah, you say it might even be Iraq again, or anywhere else really. Oh well, I guess I better take it seriously. I just feel so weary of life at times. Perhaps you could mix me another B-52.
Anyway, thanks for all your information. I really do feel better about the invasion, sorry, bombing. One last thing. I seem to have lost my 'Stay alert, not alarmed', fridge magnet. Will there be some more? Please no, I don't want a 'Keep calm and carry on', magnet. They were made to keep the English calm after they were invaded. The government is working on a new idea? A poster? Hmm, I am really not sure about that. What have you got so far? Something along these lines, huh.
Sorry, I know I am being a pain, but I just can't quite remember why we are bombing them? Simple, you say? They are bad and we are good. That's good enough for me, cobber.