Saturday, June 28, 2014

Nasty people on the internet

I can clearly recall recently saying to someone, I don't get nasty things on the internet, personally or on my blog. Everyone I know on the net is so nice. It may have been Dina who recently wrote about getting nasty comments or nasty related emails. I felt a bit superior. I don't get stuff like that. I had totally forgotten about Colin Huggins vile personal emails, but he reminded me by sending a new one, and then I remembered Robert Hayden and his vile emails too. Both go for the poofter angle and always manage to slip paedophile into the email . Water off a duck's back to me. I have experienced that for my whole life. Unless it is in my face, I lose no sleep over it.

The funny thing is, although I am gay, I adore women. Look at my blog list and most of them are women, but I am selective and only read blogs of smart and intelligent women. I doubt I would have ever continued my blog if it wasn't for my women friends on the internet, many of whom have I have met personally and some I haven't and would like to.

So where do Colin and Robert come from? I can only judge from personal experience. I felt very uncomfortable back in about 1984 in Cockatoo when Ex Sis in Law's brother in law was staring at me. It was when my nephew, now in Brazil, was just born. I was young and it spooked me. Ok, later, he came out as a gay man.  Work, I felt uncomfortable. This Arab looks like he hates me. I hadn't done anything to him. Why would he look like that to me. It all became clear when I saw him out at a gay bar and we chatted.

Is it the same with Colin and Robert? Are they closet homosexuals or just behave like they are?

26 comments:

  1. Hello Andrew,

    Oh this is all so infantile. Why do people do this?

    As you know, we too have largely escaped any adverse commenting or emails and yet there does seem to be in way to be completely free of it. What we fail to understand is why people feel the need to write down such horrid things instead of simply avoiding one. It us all so unnecessary and, we have to admit, that we do not find it easy to forget about it.

    Of course, the great thing about meeting a blogger in real life is that you then know how sweet, kind and sensitive they really are. Our fond memories of you all will last for all time! That is the true power of the internet!

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    1. JayLa, you make such a good point. Why bother reading if you don't like something about the person?

      The good of the internet, such as meeting your goodselves, far outweighs any negative experience. I had forgotten about the two characters I mention above, but it will be a long time before I forget our time in Budapest.

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  2. I think you may have hit the nail on the head Andrew.. when people are comfortable with their own sexuality they rarely have a problem with anyone else's.

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    1. Grace, you have hit the nail on the head. Comfortable with one's own sexuality. You never get crap like that from people who are comfortable and confident in their own sexuality.

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  3. I wouldn't be surprised if they were closed homosexuals. Why else would they just not do what Jane and Lance Hattatt say and just avoid it all? Why do they actively seek you out?

    As for my thing...if you're talking about what I think you're talking about, that was actually a "friend". The friendship was hanging by a thread and that particular email was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm not sure if you have that saying in Australia or not. But I think you can guess what it means.

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    1. Dina, indeed it is a well used expression here and I understand what you mean. But haven't you had other troublesome contacts at times?

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  4. As you say Andrew, their problem not yours.

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    1. Fun60, the very small but wise part of my brain says, never respond or react and I have done both now and given them oxygen. However, I feel better after writing it down.

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  5. I would love to meet Colin and Robert
    Just for a few minutes
    .........

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    1. John, I'll just hide behind you and scream.

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  6. It might be water off a duck's back and perhaps not even physically threatening, but nasty is nasty to people who have feelings. Nobody deserves such treatment - it should be enough that people walk away if they don't like someone.
    It is rare for us to know anyone well, or be known very well, but there is a sense in which the hate of a stranger can make you feel erased.

    I can understand someone being afraid that you might accidentally out them if you were together in one space, but the people writing to you cannot possibly have that as a reason for being "unfriendly". I suspect they are simply being themselves - unaware that they need a lot of help with some issues that have nothing to do with you.
    But as you say, you do have a lot of friends. These 2 are certainly a very lonely minority.

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    1. FC, it really does not bother me personally, beyond making me feel sad for such people who can hate so strongly and vindictively, and put such effort into their dislike.

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  7. Andrew, personally I didn't get any nasty comments so far. But I have known my friends got that kinds of nasty emails.

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    1. Gosia, you probably won't get anything nasty, because you always remain very nice. At times I have written about challenging matters, although I do so less nowadays.

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  8. I've only gotten one mean comment, but it made me switch to moderating my comments. Since that one I've never had one I could not publish, but I don't allow anon comments either.
    The amount of venom in the world nowadays is pretty scary judging from the news, but I think most of the truly mean and cruel people don't read blogs. Thank God.
    Although the phobics are indeed pretty scary.

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    1. Rubye, there is always that method of dealing with things, but I like to keep it very easy for people to comment and I like to keep a method to contact me personally open as well. Yes, the world can be a nasty place, so better that our world stays nice.

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  9. A few people are very nasty indeed.

    One bloke who had a dodgy connection wrote "Not much i can do, cept jew it. Stealing intelectually copyrighted material". Now I had no idea what he was talking about and I loathe spelling errors, but even worse was his anti-Semitism.

    When you read nasty stuff, it is sorely tempting to become nasty in return. But it doesn't help, I find. Delete delete delete!

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    1. Hels, that is hideous. People like that always go for what the perceive as a weak spot, and not in my case nor yours, do we thing of it as such.

      You are quite correct. Ignore and delete, which I have mostly done in the past.

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  10. Possibly so deep in the closet they are hiding from themselves.
    Sad and bad though. And too common.

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    1. EC, I can't help but feel that. I hope you don't get such rubbish.

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  11. Oh dear there are always nasty people in the world but the one thing about blogging is you can simply ignore them but it does make me uneasy.
    Merle............

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    1. Ignore is the best policy, Merle.

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  12. The latter of the two popped out of the woodwork again recently. Thankfully he doesn't have much to say to me.

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    1. Fen, I just don't get their motivation.

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    2. No, but one would guess there are mental health issues at play, and/or D&A involvement.

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    3. Fen, I suspected A being the reason and perhaps mental health.

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