Nowadays it seems the only women who don't work are the wives of the middle class and the rich. I write yet another post that will win me no friends and alienate some.
The thing is kiddies, I just don't get what is behind having children and putting them in childcare for five days a week while mummy and daddy work. I have no problem if the kids are home with dad or their second mummy or other daddy, whatever.
Of course women have a right to work. Of course they can have a career, but does raising children and having them in full time care during working hours really equate to being a good parent? I see much of it in the better areas of Melbourne and ok, the children probably end up at a good private school too and turn into good adult citizens. But still I am troubled by the matter.
I will never know, but I think spending a lot of time with your child as they grow must be a wonderful thing. They will be watching you and observing you and picking up things for their future life. How can this happen when the child is in care for forty hours plus a week? They will probably pick up information from stressed, tired and overachieving parents.
It is somewhat of a chicken and egg argument, but which came first? The need for mothers to work for the family to have decent life or women working and there is now a higher family income and so housing prices go up? Or is that woman want things to be?
I am very pleased that Sister was in a position that she did not have to work for a couple of years after Little Jo was born and now with Bone Doctor having a weekday off and Sister only working part time. Little Jo now goes to crèche for one morning and kindergarten for a whole day each week. Next year she will start primary school. Money was tight for them but I think it was a good decision.
Looking back, R and I should be rich with our individual and adequate incomes compared to couples who have children with only one person working, but we are not. We have lived a bit too high on the hog at times and not been too responsible about money but that is because we didn't have to be. We had no responsibilities but ourselves. It is a bit tenuous, but we think we may be able to maintain our lifestyle when we are older, but there will be things that we will go without.
It is said that when many older men are asked the question about regrets in the life, they will say they wished they had spent more time with their children when they were young. I fear it is a reply that we will hear from women in the not too distant future. Why have children if you are not with them in their very formative first four years?
Being an essentially stay at home mum or dad and raising children must be one of the most wonderful things in the world and never let anyone tell you that you haven't contributed to society in the most special way to society.
(This post was originally written three years ago. I don't like to offend people but I really don't get why you have children and don't want to bring them up)