Sunday, September 22, 2013

Madame GPS

I don't really blog when I am holidays, in a meaningful way. That kind of means I don't post photos and I don't comment on blogs and I don't respond to comments. I do this because R deserves my attention and company when we are in strange surrounds.

However, I still get a bit of time to write.

Gattina calls her gps Madame GPS. I have taken to call our sat nav device, The Bitch.

After visiting Pambula Beach, The Bitch kept saying 'turn right' to get us to the next destination, Merimbula. I wanted to drive along the main street of Pambula, but R was telling me to follow The Bitch's advice. I ignored her and him.

Upon arrival at Merimbula, she told me to turn right, into the sea. R was fed up with her turn instructions and turned her off. We had to turn her back on to get to our accommodation after we stopped at shops for a bit.

When studying maps I could see there were three alternatives to our next destination. The Bitch gave us the mid one time wise, but she added about 15 minutes by backtracking when it was un-necessary. There was a much more direct route. We chose the longest route because that was the way we decided to go. I gave The Bitch a town along the way and she did ok then.

The Bitch outdid herself upon arrival at our destination. She had us driving in circles, for some reason thinking we were staying in a lane and not on a major road. We had looked at so many places to stay at our destination, it wasn't clear in my head as to where I should go. I pulled out my phone and googled to check that I had the address correct and a map showed and then I understood where we should drive to, that is the opposite direction. I felt like throwing The Bitch out the window and relish in seeing her smash on the asphalt. Even though we had no time to be anywhere, it felt stressful, mostly because R was getting stressed and then I felt under pressure.

As soon as I saw the location of our accommodation on a map, I remembered where it was. I checked later for why The Bitch had a problem and she has a misnamed street and possibly because, as happens in country towns, there are two names for a street, a local street name and and a major highway name.  Still, The Bitch failed us.

We are in a place that has crisp and cold air, so different to the wonderful seaside town of Merimbula, from where we left this morning.


  1. Hoping you, nonetheless, enjoyed a visit to my ancestral lands.

  2. TO insisted I buy her a Tom Tom for Christmas a few years ago. Jungle drums might be more useful.

    Heading North on the Hume towards Albury it kept insisting we take the next exit and go back. From Nambour heading south along the Bruce toward Brisbane, it kept insisting we take the next exit and go back. Just one more unused "thing" on the ever growing pile of crap in the house.

  3. I call mine 'Madge'.

    Last year I was on the Gold Coast in Queensland headed for Harbour Town and Madge directed me on a route south instead of north and also said it would take about 9 hours when the trip should only take about 30 minutes. When I pulled over to check Madge was directing me to a residential complex called Harbour Town located 60 minutes north of Sydney!

  4. Stick to the maps Andrew.

  5. I *love* that part of the NSW south coast! Sometimes it pays to take a road less traveled.
    And yes... old school 'maps' are the way to go ;)

    PS. I'm a new blog reader of yours. Thanks for sharing :)

  6. You're much better off with a map and a little route planning. take a break and look over the map, write down which way you want to go, for instance 5kms along this street, turn into that street etc, then follow it. You can even plan in detours to see something special along the way. Much less stressful than a bitch running you in circles.

  7. Well we all know women can't navigate! ;)

    Mine used to be called Henry. Then they went and changed his voice to a females. Now she starts off American then decides on a weird British accent. I haven't named her as yet.